1. Ground Rules  Everyone has the right to participate.  Respect all opinions.  All questions are welcome.  Do not interrupt each other, only one person should talk at a time.  Listen to each other.  Talk about your own stories and not about others in the group.  Personal stories stay in the room.  Respect each other’s feelings.  No put downs or insults like making fun or laughing. A

2. Why Youth Ages 11 to 14?  Many youth look forward to dating at this age  Youth have important relationships with their friends  Relationships with their friends determine how they act with dates and friends as adults  Choose Respect lessons learned will carry into future relationships 3

3. Choosing Respect in Relationships  What does respect mean to you?  How does someone give and get respect? 4

4. People Who Respect Each Other: 5  Are open and honest about feelings and expectations  Try to put themselves in others’ situations  Give each other the benefit of the doubt  Take time to cool off, listen, and talk things out  Break down a problem and look for win-win solutions  Think before speaking or acting out in anger  Give and get respect

5. Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships  What is a healthy relationship?  Traits of a healthy relationship: –Assertiveness –Understanding –Trust –Fighting fair –Problem solving –Negotiation and compromise –Anger control –Being a role model 6

6. Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships (cont’d)  What is an unhealthy relationship?  Traits of an unhealthy relationship: –Yelling, name calling, put downs –Gossiping about a dating partner –Controlling how a dating partner dresses and/or acts –Ignoring or giving someone the silent treatment –Slapping, hitting, shoving –Unwanted touching or sexual activity 7

7. Youth in Abusive Relationships Are More Likely to:  Have low self-esteem  Be depressed  Binge drink  Use drugs  Have eating disorders  Get seriously injured  Practice unsafe sex with multiple partners 8

8. Dating Abuse  When someone in a relationship insults, hits, or tries to control what the dating partner does, including whom he or she talks to, and uses threats of abuse.  Can include: –Verbal abuse –Emotional abuse –Physical abuse –Sexual abuse  A pattern of behavior - something that happens  over and over. 13

9. Group 1 1. Give some examples of each of these categories of dating abuse? EMOTIONALVERBAL PHYSICALSEXUAL 2. Is dating abuse a big deal? 14

10. The Reality of Dating Abuse  One out of every eleven high school students has experienced physical abuse.  One in five youth has experienced some sort of emotional abuse. 15

11. One in Eleven  If you have 33 students in your class, that means 3 of these students may have been hit, punched, or physically harmed in some other way by a boyfriend or girlfriend. 16

12. 17  3. How does dating abuse start? Group 1 (cont’d)

13. Group 2  1. What unhealthy relationship behaviors that led to dating abuse were seen in the video?  2. Are these behaviors acceptable or unacceptable? Why or why not?  3. How do you think victims of abuse feel? 18

14. Group 3  1. How can we recognize abuse in the video?  2. What are other warning signs that someone is in an unhealthy relationship?  3. What are warning signs that someone is the abuser? 19

15. Group 4  1. Why does abuse happen?  2. If someone you know is being abused, what would you do or say to help?  3. When your friend or someone you know is being abusive,what can you do to help? 20

16.  What is a healthy relationship? Advice to Friends 21

17.  Questions?  Comments? 22