1. Dealing with Dating Violence, Domestic Violence Dating Violence and Domestic Violence are major problems in the United States. Too often, 1 member of a relationship eliminated the respect/trust from the “7 things needed for a relationship to succeed”* and rely on trying to bully, overpower, and control their partner. *= 7 things are Communication, Friendship, Honesty, Trust, Loyalty, Love and Respect

2. What Is Dating Violence and Domestic Violence? There are 4 main forms of violence: Physical: harm to a person’s body by physical acts Verbal: harm through words (demeaning insults or threats for example) Emotional: Hurt inside caused by physical or verbal acts but that causes a change in personality Sexual: includes sexual harassment, assault or rape

3. But also…… Domestic aka Dating Violence Physical, Verbal, Emotional or sexual violence perpetrated during a relationship with a boyfriend/girlfriend Husband/wife or long term partner* Increasingly more of a problem….. * can happen in short term relationships too

4. Domestic Violence In addition to the 4 main types of Violence: Physical, Verbal, Emotional, Sexual, Neglect is another major type of domestic violence in a home Neglect = The failure to meet the basic physical and emotional needs of a person you are responsible for (child if you are a parent for example)

5. Common Causes of Dating violence or domestic violence ABUSE History of having been abused as a child Alcohol or other drug use Feelings of Worthlessness Or low self esteem Lack of parenting skills Mental Illness Unemployment and poverty Lack of communication and coping skills Fear Emotional immaturity Inability to deal with anger

6. Common ways teens experience dating violence Allow boyfriend/girlfriend to control everything that is done as a couple demeaning comments from one partner but without being in fun (you look so fat in that dress. Why are you so stupid) Yelling at in public Physical violent acts (grabbing arm and pulling) Forced sexual activity

7. Less Common ways that might sneak by you dating violence occurs Cutting off ideas from a spouse Failure to listen/talk or pay attention to others feelings Forcing “check ins” so you know where spouse is Jealousy, lack of trust

8. To stay safe….. Recall “7 things” GO SLOW Recognize if it doesn’t feel right it probably isn’t Share personal beliefs about life, sex, family, etc. Date or hangout in groups (in beginning) Embrace each other’s friends not just one or the other Don’t change your life for your partner….add him/her to it AND………

9. ……………set boundaries Set up boundaries that can not be crossed including: Physical intimacy limitations Verbal tones and times for arguments Trust…allowing to hang with other friends Staying in public with newer partners

10. In addition Get out of relationships quickly at first signs of violence. It’s more difficult to end relationships later when they are “more serious” Communicate openly with your parents/guardians and respect whatever they say. Don’t sneak! Never have sleepovers unless they are supervised and both partners respect each other. Never drink something if you don’t know what’s in it or use any other drugs

11. RESPECT YOURSELF!!!! Partners will come and go…Don’t fall into a relationship that is violent out of fear you may “lose” someone or you’re looking for love There is plenty of time to find the right person!