3.  Which movie to go see  Cut off in traffic  Someone spreading rumors  ‘Stay at home mom’ or a career  How late you can stay at a party  Spending money  How and where to spend your time  Parents disagree with clothes/ hairstyle  Can’t go to a school event because it falls on a religious holiday  You were excluded from a group

4. ◦ Conflict: a disagreement between people with opposing view points, ideas, or goals. ◦ Conflicts can be an exchange of words ◦ Group confrontations can be ongoing ◦ Conflicts that involve weapons can be serious Some conflicts are with YOURSELF!

5. 1. Resources: something usable, such as goods, property, money or time.  Examples??? Couples who fight over finances, which restaurant, study or go mall with mom, fighting over the computer… 2. Values: your beliefs and ideas you consider important  Examples??? Browns fan, daily PE class, politics, 3. Emotional Needs: the need to belong and feel respected and worthwhile examples??? Left out, dis-respected, put down, feel it’s unfair didn't make the science Olympiad, sports team etc…

6.  Think of a conflict you’ve had recently and briefly describe.  Answer the following questions in your notes.  1.What was it about?  2. What caused it? (Resources, Values, Emotional)  3. Was it resolved? Explain.

7. If I learn to manage my anger then… If I don’t and conflicts get out of hand then…  Release frustrations of life.  Calls Attention to Problems  Helps us understand self and other’s values  Increases motivation to take action  Brings about change  Healthier relationships  Anger can build and boil over  Can lead to violence  Irrational thinking  Not pleasant to be around  Lead to depression (esp.boys)

8.  Qualities, characteristics or ideas about which we feel strongly.  Our values affect our decisions, goals, and behavior.  Values make us feel and believe someone or something is worthwhile.  Values define what is of worth, what is beneficial or harmful.  Values are standards that guide your action, judgments and attitudes.

9.  Give direction and consistency to behavior  Values help you know what to and to make time for  Values establish a relationship between you and the world  Values set the direction for one’ life

10.  Home  School  Society  Friends  TV  Church  Music  Books  Families  Culture  Employers  Time period you were raised in

11. 1. honesty ----truthful and sincere 2. integrity ----being consistent with beliefs 3. trustworthiness ---keep promises/ fulfill commitment 4. loyalty ---provide support and commitment based on ethical needs 5. fairness ----committed to justice, equal treatment, and respect for diversity 6. caring ---concern for well being of an individual, self, and environment 7. respect ----confidence in beliefs and values and knowledge you understand and support the rights in others to express their beliefs 8. responsibility ----contribution to society in a positive way and encourages participation of others 9. pursuit of excellence ----pride in work, best effort, and reflection of work 10. accountability ----consider and accept the impact and consequences of personal actions and decisions

12.  Personal ( never curse, exercise everyday)  Family ( kids have chores, eat at table every night)  Work ( punctuality, hard worker, loyal)  Moral ( do the right thing, i.e. find money)  Spiritual ( church every week, marry someone same faith)  Monetary ( spendthrift, saver)

13.  Ages 1-7------parents  Ages 8-13-----teachers, heroes(sports TV)  Ages 14-20----peers( values because of peers or peers because of values?  Ages 21+---your values are established, but you may test your values from time to time.

14.  You were just presented with a check for:  $1,000.00  List all the things you would do with the money.

15.  Hypocrite-  One who subscribes to one set of values, and does another.  Immaturity- one who has not defined their values, flighty, drifters, uncertain  Maturity-clear values, life of purpose, meaning and direction

16. Calm. It. Down. Brainstorm Ask Questions; to learn the other person’s point of view Attack the Problem- not the person! Explain how you feel; Let each person tell their side Talk to a trusted adult

17.  Take a time out to cool down

19.  Make a list  Find a middle ground  Find a creative solution

20.  Explain how his or actions make you feel

21. “hmmm how would I feel” Ask Questions

22.  If you cannot resolve problem yourself.

23. T ake a time out to calm down and think through my anger. A llow each person to tell his or her side then paraphrase the other persons position. L et each person ask questions in order to view the issue from the others point of view. K eep brainstorming solutions either to find the middle ground or creative solution

24. 1. Identify the Problem ◦ (Identify, ask yourself questions, what choices do you need to make and who else if anyone is involved)  What are the choices ◦ (List everything, ask for suggestions and make sure they are safe.)  Gather Information- what’s helpful to know before making a decision  Consider outcomes and values ◦ (honesty, respect and trust) Consequences of each options Healthful Ethical Legal and Parent approval)  Make a decision and act. ◦ (Ready to take action, choose a course that supports your values, the impact of all choices on self and others and ask a trusted adult if unsure.)  Evaluate your decision ◦ (Reach expectations, how did it affect others, how you feel about yourself and what could you do differently)

25.  Make a list of different ways people communicate.

26.  Skills don’t just happen…Need to practice!  Start and Keep Relationships strong  Help people grow closer( shared interests..)  Vital to many areas of your life( work place, marriages)

27.  What is communication?  What is body language and why should I care?  How can I communicate better?  Identify ways of being a good listener  Communicate using “I messages”

28.  Communication: The exchange of thoughts, feelings, beliefs and wants between two or more people.

29. Non Verbal (without words) Tone of Voice How you say something as important as WHAT you say. Body Language Gestures Facial expressions posture

30.  Sometimes verbal and non verbal messages can send two different messages. For that reason, be aware of the non verbal messages you send= MIXED MESSAGE: occurs when your words say one thing but your body language says another. (i.e. “sorry” while grinning)  What does that tell the other person? Other examples??????

31.  You Messages: (blame /aggressive) “You can’t do anything right!”  I Messages- A statement that presents a situation from the speaker’s personal feelings/viewpoint:  “I’m mad because I wanted to work on the project together”

32.  Effective Verbal Communication:  Speaking Skills Listening Skills  Be clear Active Listening  Use “I messages” Pay attention  Stay Calm Use correct BL  Stick to the point THINK first  Choose the right time/place Ask open Questions  Be aware of tone and B Language

33. while they are telling you story, look at the clock, tie your shoes, don’t talk fiddle with your paper. Roll your eyes…in other words don’t pay attention!

34.  Listen attentively. Make eye contact. Nod head approvingly. Lean forward. ask open ended questions such as, ’then what happened?’ ; “how did that make you feel?”

35.  Partner A: Describe in full detail, your last family vacation- where you went, who, fun? Why…

36.  Describe your most proud or embarrassing moment thus far in your life.

37.  Complete the work sheet by converting the following sentences from You Messages to I messages.

38.  Active Listening is hearing, thinking about and responding to the other person’s message.  More Listening Tips! 1. Concentrate on what the other person is saying. Don’t be thinking about what you are going to say next or interrupt. 2. Nod your head to show you are listening- give feed back”(then what happened?” 3. Let the person finish speaking! 4. Stay calm- even if you’re hearing something you don’t like 5. Keep an open mind; Listen even if you disagree accept that others won’t always think the same way you do.

39.  While sitting at lunch with your friends everyone starts making fun of another friend.  You…

41.  Pressure pushed toward making a certain choice.  A Peer is someone in your own age group.  Peer Pressure someone your own age, is pushing you toward making a certain choice

42.  Spoken vs. Unspoken Spoken: Something said to you directly Unspoken: When you feel you are supposed to do something

43.  Sometime the pressure we put on ourselves can be the hardest!!

44.  Examples of Positive Honor Roll Make a team/club Follow the rules Respect others Group Fitness Running group

45.  Examples of Negative Underage drinking/smoking Gossiping Stealing Fighting Bullying Ditching a friend

46.  I …. … want to be accepted and liked by people my own age. … are afraid of being rejected …don’t want to lose a friend … want to appear grown up … don’t want to be made fun of …don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings … aren’t sure of what they really want … don’t know how to get out of the situation

47.  (  Spoken Pressure)  PUT DOWN  Insulting or name calling to make someone feel bad

48.  REASONING  Giving reasons to do something or why it would be OK  (Spoken pressure)

49.  Threatening to leave someone out or end a friendship  (spoken pressure)

50.  A GROUP STANDS TOGETHER LAUGHING OR TALKING, WITH THEIR BACKS TO OTHERS  (UNSPOKEN)

51.  Popular kids simply buy or wear something, because they set an example, others want to follow  (unspoken)

52.  Kids who think they’re cool give a look that means: we’re cool, and you’re not”  (Unspoken pressure)

53.  S.T.O.P.  Say no in a firm voice  Tell why not  Offer other ideas  Promptly leave

54.  “Everyone’s Doing it”  You’re wrong… I’m not doing it”  “ A real friend would do it”  “A real friend wouldn't ask” “Are you afraid?” “No, just smart”

55.  Aggressive:  Overly forceful, pushy, hostile  Passive Giving up, giving in, backing down, easy to persuade.  Assertive  Confidence and clearly stating your intentions

56.  Learning how to take charge of your own emotional and physical safety, how to act safely and respectfully towards others even if you feel frustrated or upset, how to set boundaries and respect the boundaries of others

57. Steps to reduce cyber bullying 1. Do not respond or reply electronically 2. Save the evidence 3. Tell a trusted adult 4. Report the issue to the cite

58. ◦ Conflict is a normal part of most relationships because people have different perspectives and priorities ◦ People can also be hurtful to each other because of thoughtlessness, annoyance, poor boundaries, and experimenting with negative uses of their power without realizing the impact

59.  Bullying – a more powerful person who picks on a less powerful person or group of persons. ◦ Forms of bullying  Including physical threats or violence; name-calling and teasing; ostracism; and social attacks on someone’s reputation  People can bully others directly, in person; indirectly, such as by gossiping or ‘badmouthing’ by voice to others; or through any form of communication technology including talking on the phone, writing, texting, emailing, tweeting, facebook (and other social media), and recording