1. Presented By: Mona M. Johnson MA, CPP, CDP Washington State Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction Mona.johnson@k12.wa.us (360) 725-6050

2. Why Should the WA State Dept. of Education Care About Military Kids? Addressing needs of the “whole child” (physical, social, emotional, behavioral) are key to measurable/sustainable academic success and student resilience Providing practical and applicable information to educators will increase their awareness and day-to-day support for these students – Recognizing and addressing issues of risk – Early prevention, intervention, resources/strategies – Fostering resilience in practical and applicable ways

3. What Is Our Role In Supporting WA State Military Kids? Increase educator (and other civilian) awareness regarding the unique issues facing military kids and their families through resource development, sharing, and training Link schools with existing national, state, and local programs/services currently available to support military kids and their families Actively participate in related national, state, and local initiatives supporting military kids, families, and schools

4. Military Kids Whose Parents or Loved Ones Are Deployed... Daily life is disrupted by the departure of a loved one Experience multiple deployments and reunions Are impacted by frequency/intensity of media Can access technology, instant communication - potential for distortion & misperception Lack connection to “like” others - particularly National Guard and Reserve kids and families (geographically dispersed) Find usual support systems are no longer adequate Struggle with school performance and behavior Look the same but feel “different” Deserve extra understanding and support from others

5. The “New” Emotional Cycle of Deployment Each stage is characterized by time frame and specific emotional challenges Failure to negotiate successfully can lead to strife Seven distinct stages: – Stage One: Anticipation of Departure – Stage Two: Detachment & Withdrawal – Stage Three: Emotional Disorganization – Stage Four: Recovery & Stabilization – Stage Five: Anticipation of Return – Stage Six: Return Adjustment & Renegotiation – Stage Seven: Reintegration & Stabilization

6. Stage One: Anticipation of Departure Timeframe: When family members receive orders Increased feeling of stress in home Reality of change ahead is “sinking in” Denial & anticipation of loss Focus is on completing family pre-deployment activity checklist Members may feel more emotional In case of multiple deployments... new cycle may begin before family has had time to renegotiate shared vision from last deployment

7. Stage Two: Detachment & Withdrawal Timeframe: Last week before Service Member leaves Service Member is focused on preparing for mission and may distance self from family Anger, arguments may occur as family prepares to protect themselves from “hurt” of separation Communication may be difficult In preparation for loss, family may begin to act like Service Member is already gone Multiple deployments can result in need to repeatedly create distance; to feel “numb” and avoid emotional connection

8. Stage Three: Emotional Disorganization Timeframe: 1–6 weeks into deployment Life without Service Member may initially feel overwhelming Routines change, responsibilities added Kids may feel... – Numb and not interested in doing much – More irritable than usual – Have difficulty concentrating — particularly at school – Wish things would go back to “normal” – Surprised because things seem to be moving more smoothly now that Service Member is gone

9. Stage Four: Recovery & Stabilization Timeframe: Usually between weeks 3 and 5 after deployment Family finally starts to settle into routine of life without Service Member Coping with changes can be positive for kids – May enjoy new found responsibilities – Sense of independence – Relief that family is functioning well Coping with changes can be challenging for kids – Difficult time accepting changes – Stressed, depressed, and having difficulty getting things done – Feel unsupported and worried how will make it through Most of the time there is a mixture of both responses!

10. Stage Five: Anticipation of Return Timeframe: About 6 weeks before the Service Member Returns Homecoming is coming! Family is happy, excited, and feeling boost of energy Trying to make everything “perfect” for return Sense of relief that Service Member will be home combined with worries about whether or not they will be the same If Service Member came home on leave at some point during deployment, that experience may be what family members expect: – Positive Leave Experience = Positive Homecoming – Challenging Leave Experience = Challenging Homecoming

11. Stage Six: Return Adjustment & Renegotiation Timeframe: About 6 weeks after the Service Member returns During time of separation Service Member and all family members have changed Changes may hold pleasant surprises or may cause conflict Family members may feel overwhelmed by Service Member attempts to get to know everyone again Everyone needs space and time to readjust Entire family must begin to renegotiate how household will look now that everyone is together again

12. Stage Seven: Reintegration & Stabilization Timeframe: Up to 6 month (and beyond) after the Service Member returns Family continues to adjust to having Service Member home A “new normal” is established regarding routines and expectations Members may begin to feel secure, relaxed, and comfortable with one another again If readjustment challenges resurface, support is important... It’s okay to ask for help if you need it!

13. Strengths for Youth Resulting from Deployment Fosters maturity and personal growth Encourages independence, flexibility, and adaptability Builds skills for adjusting to separation & loss faced later in life Strengthens family bonds Increases understanding of civics – relationship with community, etc. Builds resilience What other strengths result from deployment?

14. Symptoms of Deployment Stress in the School Setting Unable to resume normal class assignments/ activities Continued high levels of emotional response (i.e., crying & intense sadness) Difficulty concentrating in school Angry, violent, or depressed feelings expressed verbally or through drawings and play Intentionally hurt self or others Gain or lose significant amount of weight in period of weeks Discontinue care of personal appearance Exhibit possible alcohol/drug use/abuse Frequent absences Experience decline in performance & grades that doesn’t improve over time

15. The Tough Topics Series for Educators: Booklet 2-Page Topic Sheets Available at no cost at: http://www.k12.wa.us/ OperationMilitaryKids/ Resources.aspx

16. Overview: 17 Pages Overview of Topics “How to Help” Strategies Additional Resources

17. How Educators Can Offer Support to Kids: Listen Ask questions as needed Acknowledge feelings and support healthy expression Help them feel physically safe Help maintain sense of hope by taking action Expect & respond to significant changes in behavior Coordinate & communicate effectively between school & home Content: Page 1

18. Content: Pages 3 & 4 Strength Resulting from Deployment: Fosters maturity Emotional growth & insight Encourages independence, flexibility and adapting to change Builds skills for adjusting to separations & losses faced later in life Strengthens family bonds Promotes awareness & understanding of importance of civic duty

19. Content: Page 5 Homecoming & Reunion Tips for Educators: Focus on students & classroom learning environment Provide structure Maintain objectivity Be patient and reduce workload as needed Listen Be sensitive to language and cultural needs Acknowledge & validate feelings

20. Content: Page 9 Stages of Grief & Loss Shock  Denial  Anger  Bargaining  Acceptance Developmental Impact & How to Help Infants & Toddlers Pre-School Elementary School Middle School High School

21. Tough Topics 2-Page Information Pages: Deployment Homecoming & Reunion Coping with Stress Impact of Grief & Loss Dealing with Death Fostering Resilience Talking About Violence, Terrorism & War

22. Supporting Military Kids During Deployment Content: Stages of Deployment Symptoms of Deployment Related Stress in the Classroom Teacher Intervention Strategies Strengths Resulting from Deployment

23. Welcome Home: Military Kids, Homecoming & Reunion Content: 3-Stages of Homecoming/Reunion Kid’s Developmental Reactions Tips for Educators

24. Helping Kids Cope with Stress Content: Spectrum of Stressors Developmental Signs of Stress Age Specific Strategies to Help Tips for Educators

25. Impact of Grief & Loss Content: Understanding the Grief & Loss Process Response of Grieving Child/Youth Academic Behavioral Emotional Social Physical Spiritual How to Help – Infants & Toddlers through High School

26. Fostering Resilience In Kids Content: Reducing Risk + Increasing Protection = Resilience Four Steps to Help Foster Resilience Tips for Fostering Resilience in the Classroom

27. Dealing with Death Content: Basic Understanding of How Kids Deal with Death Developmental Impact of Death on Kids Elementary Middle School High School Behaviors Indicating Need for Professional Help

28. Talking to Kids About Violence, Terrorism & War Contents: How Educators Can Offer Support Tips for Talking to Kids About Tough Stuff

29. How might these be helpful to you?

30. Questions?

31. For more information contact: Mona M. Johnson WA State Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction (360) 725-6050 Mona.johnson@k12.wa.us http://www.k12.wa.us/ OperationMilitaryKids/ Resources.aspx

32. Final Thought... “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” - Margaret Mead