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Published byJanel Logan Modified over 9 years ago
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Family Life
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What first attracts you to the opposite sex? What characteristics are most important to you? You attract what you are….. not what you want.
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Happiest couples feel their partner is attractive & they have the best sex lives. Appearance continues to be important through marriage. Changes in wife’s appearance have more effect than changes in husband’s appearance. Halo effect: The assumptions that good-looking people possess more desirable social characteristics.
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MMen are valued for status & money. WWomen are valued for good looks, child rearing & homemaking skills. Who is the most powerful man in America? Who is the most influential woman in America?
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MARRIAGE GRADIENT: Why men choose younger women & women choose higher status. MARRIAGE SQUEEZE: Older women have fewer eligible males. Working women don’t need a man for a paycheck but want a companion.
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Does not allow incestuous relationships. Second cousins allowed to marry, first cousins over 40 years old. Native Americans and Orientals marry outside race more often. FIELD OF ELIGIBLES: Culture approves of potential partners. ENDOGAMY: Marriage within a particular group. EXOGAMY: Marriage outside a particular group.
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FACT OR FALLACY? What things are important to have in common?
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Race – 97% marriages of same race. Religion – Greatest risk of divorce is if one is very religious. Socioeconomic Status – Men often marry down, women often marry up. Age – Members of same generation at same life tasks. Gap has narrowed and age entering marriage has climbed. Propinquity – Residence, geographically limited locale (internet).
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Homogamous marriages are more likely to succeed because Heterogamous marriages: Different values and lack understanding. Lack approval from friends and family, less support. Less conventional, therefore less likely to stay married for looks. Activity – Take Temperament test.
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PREDICTORS OF DIVORCE: Both teens = 3 to 4 x more likely to divorce Only 5% will last more than 5 years Girl is a teen = 2 x more likely to divorce
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Common skills Good emotional & physical health High self esteem High education level Older age at first marriage High social status Longer courtship average engagement 9 months average acquaintance 2 – 2 1/2 years)
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Parent Model High marriage quality in family of origin High level of happiness in childhood Positive relationship between parents Support from significant others Parent approval of spouse Liking of in-laws Support of friends
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1% of men preferred women who waited to be asked. 99% of men wanted women to hint to be asked. 50% of men preferred women to ask them out. HOW MANY GUYS WOULD ASK A GIRL OUT WITH OUT BEING GIVEN PERMISSION BEFOREHAND? Men are afraid of rejection from women.
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HOW DO YOU MEET PEOPLE FOR DATING? Open field: A setting in which potential partners may not be likely to meet, characterized by large numbers of people who do not ordinarily interact, such as a beach, mall or campus. Closed field: A setting in which potential partners may meet, characterized by a small number of people who are likely to interact, such as a class, dorm or party). Parties are the most common place 1/3 to 1/2 of all meetings are introductions by friends. (also internet, classified ads, dating services and churches)
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Power is not usually a problem in dating but gender roles are. Who pays? Who decides? Communication Shyness Sexual pressure
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Increasing: Divorced, widowed, never married Delayed marriage Employment options for women Increased divorce & decreased likelihood of remarriage More women in college More liberal social & sexual standards Uneven ratios of unmarried women to men
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Increases economic, & emotional independence. Difficulty committing and doing what one ought to do rather than what one wants to do. Men need women less than women need men thus men flee obligation. Men less mentally healthy as single. Media portrays singles as glorified and marriage as unsatisfied with affairs.
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Ambivalence: voluntary and temporary Wishful: Involuntarily & temporary Resolved: Permanent and prefer it Regretful: Resigned to their fate. Often well educated, high income over 40 but no available men.
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Singles are dependent on their parents Singles are self-centered Singles have more money (married couples are better off – dual incomes) Singles are happier Singles view single hood as a lifetime alternative
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Singles don’t fit into married society Singles have more time Singles have more fun Singles are lonely
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LEGAL PROBLEMS Can’t file joint tax return Can’t make medical decisions Can’t inherit Can’t enter hospital or jail restricted to “family” Can’t create estate trust Can’t claim marital deduction on income tax Can’t receive survivor insurance benefits Can’t get health benefits, bereavement leave, etc Can’t collect unemployment if you move for a partners job Can’t get residency status for a noncitizen
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May not work as hard. Lack of pooling of money More fighting & violence Man not expected to support his partner, both work Less social support Greater likelihood of divorce More liberal, independent, less religious, lower income
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