1. COM 110 Interpersonal Conflict & Small Group Communication

2. Agenda (6.30) Review of Interpersonal Communication - Key Word Quiz
Chapter 8 Managing Interpersonal
Conflict
Chapter 8 Goals
Conflict Exercise
Chapter 9 & 10
Small Group Communication
Goals – 9 & 10
In-Class Assignment – Effective Group Communication
Next Steps

3. Key Word Quiz
Textbook Page 135 & 154

4. Chapter 8 Goals
Define Interpersonal Conflict and the major conflict issues and explain the myths about interpersonal conflict
Explain the 3 principles of conflict and give examples of how conflict can be negative or positive, how it is influenced by culture and gender
What are the consequences of your chosen conflict style?
Describe and distinguish between the conflict management strategies
Explain how to use these strategies constructively in your own interpersonal conflicts
Figure 2.3

5. Chapter 8 – Interpersonal Conflict
How do we define interpersonal conflict?
Activity: Conflict is…
Ask students to work together to generate a list of words that come to mind when they hear the word “conflict.” There may be many metaphors (such as “fight,” “war,” “struggle”) that can lead to understanding of their view.
How did they acquired their perceptions of conflict?
How was conflict handled in their home?
Interpersonal conflict is disagreement between or among connected individuals.
Interpersonal conflict is inevitable in any relationship in which some level of interdependence (connectedness, interrelatedness) exists and parties perceive incompatibility between or among the positions they have taken on an issue or topic. Intimate partners may experience conflict over:
intimacy issues such as affection and sex
power issues or lack of equity in the relationship
personal flaws (drinking, smoking, bad hygiene)
personal distance issues (frequent absences due to school or job)
social issues (differences in politics or ideologies)
distrust issues (lying, concealing information)
People tend to repeat conflict patterns learned from family unless they learn new ones

6. Interpersonal Conflict
Interpersonal Conflict is a disagreement between or among connected individuals who perceive their goals as incompatible.
Conflict occurs when people:
Are interdependent
Are mutually aware that their goas are incompatible
Perceive each other as interfering with each others goals
Interpersonal Communication is communication that occurs between two persons who have a relationship and who are thus influenced by each other’s communication messages. This includes almost any interaction between two people as soon as a message is sent and received.
Interpersonal communication exists on a continuum from relatively impersonal to highly personal
The more impersonal the interaction, the more likely the interactants will respond to each other according to social roles (e.g., taxi driver and passenger); the more personal the interaction, the more likely the interactants will respond to each other as unique individual (e.g., father and daughter)
The more impersonal the interaction, the more likely the interaction will be governing by societal rules; the more personal the interaction, the more likely the interactions will be governed by personally established rules
The more impersonal the interaction, the less likely the interaction will be emotionally laden or include self-disclosure

7. Conflict and Interdependency
As interdependency increases, so do the potential for and the importance of conflict
Figure 8.1 illustrates that, as interdependency increases, so do the potential for and the importance of conflict. In this figure, the relationship “classmates” is positioned in the middle.
Ask students to suggest relationships that are less interdependent and relationships that are more interdependent. Then, test the effectiveness of this simple relationship. Ask: Does it effectively depict the likelihood and the significance of your own interpersonal conflicts?

8. True or False?
Conflict is best avoided. Time will solve the problem; it will all blow over.
If two people experience relationship conflict, it means their relationship is in trouble.
Conflict damages an interpersonal relationship.
Conflict is destructive because it reveals our negative selves—our pettiness, our need to be in control, our unreasonable expectations.
In any conflict, there has to be a winner and a loser. Because goals are incompatible, someone has to win and someone has to lose.
As the book states, these are all false.

9. Interpersonal Conflict Principles
Conflict can be positive or negative
Conflict is influenced by culture and gender
Conflict styles have consequences
Content conflict centers on people, objects, events external to the parties involved (such as what movie to go to);
Relationship conflict focuses on issues concerning the relationship between the parties involved (such as who’s in charge or how the relationship will be defined); most conflicts contain elements of both
How can conflict be both Negative and Positive?
Negative Aspects
increased negative feelings about the other
a closing off of open, honest communication
seeking intimacy elsewhere that leads to further conflict
Positive Aspects
chance to examine an issue that otherwise might be avoided
healthier, more satisfying relationship if proper conflict strategies are used
opportunity to voice needs and stop potential resentment

10. Conflict can be negative or positive
Negatives?
Positives?
Content conflict centers on people, objects, events external to the parties involved (such as what movie to go to);
Relationship conflict focuses on issues concerning the relationship between the parties involved (such as who’s in charge or how the relationship will be defined); most conflicts contain elements of both
How can conflict be both Negative and Positive?
Negative Aspects
increased negative feelings about the other
a closing off of open, honest communication
seeking intimacy elsewhere that leads to further conflict
Positive Aspects
chance to examine an issue that otherwise might be avoided
healthier, more satisfying relationship if proper conflict strategies are used
opportunity to voice needs and stop potential resentment

11. Conflict Styles Have Consequences
Competing: I win, you lose
Avoiding: Lose, lose
Compromising: Win and lose
Accommodating: I lose, you win
Collaborating: Win, win
Content conflict centers on people, objects, events external to the parties involved (such as what movie to go to);
Relationship conflict focuses on issues concerning the relationship between the parties involved (such as who’s in charge or how the relationship will be defined); most conflicts contain elements of both
How can conflict be both Negative and Positive?
Negative Aspects
increased negative feelings about the other
a closing off of open, honest communication
seeking intimacy elsewhere that leads to further conflict
Positive Aspects
chance to examine an issue that otherwise might be avoided
healthier, more satisfying relationship if proper conflict strategies are used
opportunity to voice needs and stop potential resentment

12. Conflict and Gender
Which gender stereotype regarding conflict is supported by research?
Answer:
the withdrawing and
sometimes aggressive
male
Conflict and Gender –
according to some studies men may withdraw from conflict more than men and women and men may differ in regard to the use of emotional and logical arguments in conflict;
however, studies of gender differences in conflict style and strategies are contradictory and do not support stereotypes often perpetuated in mass media representations.

13. Competition Collaboration Compromise Avoidance Accommodation
High
Compromise
Concern for Self
There is no one best style of managing conflict.
Decision should be based on the answer you seek, the amount of time you have, the quality of the relationship, and the amount of perceived power you and others have.
Research suggests that what most people find most uncomfortable about conflict is the lack of a clear resolution, poorly managed conflict, or avoidance of issues they would like to discuss.
Activity: Put Up Your Dukes!
Work in pairs to create brief conflict scenario dialogues using different conflict styles.
Give a scenario with corresponding roles to each pair. Allow students a few minutes to discuss their tasks with their partners. Have each pair perform their scenario, asking the class to identify which type of conflict was created and which conflict styles were evidenced.
Discuss the outcomes and ways the conflicts could have been managed using another method.
Avoidance
Accommodation
Low
Low
High
Concern for Others

14. Conflict and Culture
Cultural differences – ex. Living with extended family
Collectivist cultures – ex. Korea – violation of group norms
Individualistic cultures – ex US – violating expected norms
Conflict and Culture – culture influences the issues people argue about as well as perceptions of appropriate ways to handle conflict
in collectivist cultures conflict tends to be avoided if possible; often centers on violations of collective group norms and values; and generally ends in compromise that allows all parties to save-face
in individualistic cultures conflict tends to be viewed in terms of winners and losers and conflict often centers on violations of individual needs or wants

15. Conflict Videos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SnSzo4AbRI
Conflict doesn’t have to be destructive:

16. What do you think are some factors to consider when you’re trying to manage conflict?
The goals to be achieved
Your emotional state
Your cognitive assessment of the situation
Your personality and communication competence
Your family history
Conflict Management Strategies – strategies for managing conflict are influenced by a variety of factors including
goals (short-term and long-term): one might give up the fight to win the war
emotional state: being angry may result in a different strategy than being sad
cognitive assessment: strategy selection may influenced by perceptions of fairness, perceptions of who is at fault, and perceptions of power differences
personality and communication competence: for example, perception of self as shy may lead to conflict avoidance strategies
family history: people tend to repeat conflict patterns learned from parents unless they learn new ones

17. What are some factors to consider when you’re trying to manage conflict?
Long term and short term goals
Your emotional state
Your cognitive assessment
of the situation
Your personality and comm.
competence
Your family history
Factors to consider
The goals to be achieved
Your emotional state
Your cognitive assessment of the situation
Your personality and communication competence
Your family history
Conflict Management Strategies – strategies for managing conflict are influenced by a variety of factors including
goals (short-term and long-term): one might give up the fight to win the war
emotional state: being angry may result in a different strategy than being sad
cognitive assessment: strategy selection may influenced by perceptions of fairness, perceptions of who is at fault, and perceptions of power differences
personality and communication competence: for example, perception of self as shy may lead to conflict avoidance strategies
family history: people tend to repeat conflict patterns learned from parents unless they learn new ones

18. Test Yourself: Conflict Management Strategies
Textbook Page 164
Manage your emotions
Be aware that you are becoming angry and emotionally volatile – avoid taking action
Seek to understand why you are angry and emotional.
Make a conscious decision about whether to express your anger
Set a mutually acceptable time and place to discuss a conflict.
Monitor your nonverbal messages by speaking calmly, using direct eye contact, and maintaining a calm, non-threatening facial expression.
Avoid personal attacks, name calling, and emotional overstatements that may turn simple conflict into an ego conflict.
People respond to attack by protecting themselves.
Avoid gunnysacking—dredging up old problems and issues from the to use against your partner. Focus on the issues at hand.
Avoid beltlining, hitting below the belt - bringing up issues that are demoralizing to the other
Take time to establish rapport by not immediately diving into the problem. Indentify your goal and determining the outcome you would like

19. What are some unproductive conflict management strategies?
Avoidance and Fighting Actively
avoidance (withdrawing psychologically and physically from conflict) denies the possibility of resolving issues and solving problems; it may be useful as a “cooling down” strategy but not as primary way of dealing with conflict; non-negotiation is a form of avoidance in which one refuses to discuss the conflict or listen to the arguments of another
fighting actively means confronting issues and problems open and honestly, taking responsibility for one’s own thoughts and feelings, and focusing on the present issue
Force and Talk
using either physical or emotional force to win arguments is one of the most serious problems confronting relationships today; over 50 percent of couples report experiencing some type of violence in their relationships
the only real alternative to force is open, empathic, positive talk
Defensiveness and Supportiveness
Although talk is preferred to force, not all talk is equally productive. Some types of talk may lead to defensiveness; other types of talk may generate a climate of supportiveness.

20. Defensiveness and Supportiveness
Evaluation
Control
Strategy
Neutrality
Superiority
Certainty
Types of talk that tend to generate defensiveness include
Evaluation – judging another person or her actions through the use of you-messages (e.g., “You make me so mad” “You do the stupidest things”); to try to build a feeling of supportiveness, one can substitute descriptive I-messages for you-messages (e.g., “I don’t understand why we are doing this. Can you help me understand?”
Control – ordering others to do this or that, making decisions for others without their consent or input (e.g., “Your cell phone bill was over $ this month because of all the text messaging you do. I’m taking that cell phone away from you!”); to try to build a feeling of supportiveness, one might use problem-oriented messages instead (e.g., “Your cell phone bill was over $ this month. This is a problem we need to address. What do you think would be the best way to handle it?”)
Strategy – being manipulative or concealing one’s true purposes (e.g., “buttering up” someone before hitting him with some bad news; to try to build a feeling of supportiveness, one might use spontaneity instead (e.g., simply prefacing bad news by stating, “I have some bad news to share”)
Neutrality – being indifferent, lacking empathy, not showing interest in the thoughts and feelings of another. To try to build a feeling of supportiveness, one might use empathic messages instead
Superiority – speaking as if one has authority over another or is better than another; a superior attitude is a violation of the implicit equality contract that people in close relationships have
Certainty – speaking as if one already knows the answers, leaving little or no room for negotiation; an attitude of provisionalism (e.g., “There are lots of ways of solving this dilemma; let’s work on finding the best solution together.”) is likely to be more productive

21. Face-Attacking Face-Enhancing
Strategies that attack a person’s positive face
Beltlining – hitting below belt
Blame
Strategies that enhance positive face
Confirm the other person’s self-image.
Listen supportively and actively.
Use I-messages that avoid blaming the other person.
Use excuses and apologies as appropriate
Face-Detracting and Face-Enhancing Strategies
face-detracting strategies involve treating others as incompetent or untrustworthy; using “fighting words” (such as “stupid,” “liar”); and belt lining, hitting below the belt, or bringing up issues that are demoralizing to the other hitting below the belt
face-enhancing strategies include confirming the other’s definition of self, avoiding attack and blame, and apologizing when appropriate
Blame and Empathy
any attempt to single out one factor, person, event, or interaction to blame for a conflict is sure to fail
the best alternative to blame is possibly empathy and the use of affirmation

22. What is the difference between being verbally aggressive and argumentative? How argumentative are you?
Verbal Aggressiveness: winning an argument by inflicting psychological pain – by attacking the other’s self-concept; often leads to violence
Argumentativeness: willingness to argue for a point of view; to speak one’s mind on significant issues; preferred to verbal aggressiveness
Argumentativeness
is constructive (outcomes are positive)
leads to relationship satisfaction
may prevent relationship violence
enhances organizational life
enhances parent-child communication
Increases user’s credibility
Increases user’s power of persuasion
Verbal Aggressiveness
is destructive
leads to relationship dissatisfaction
may lead to relationship violence
damages organizational life
prevents meaningful parent-child communication
decreases user’s credibility
decreases user’s power of persuasion
Exercise: Discuss own level of argumentativeness based on Test Yourself: “How Argumentative Are You?” on pages 172 of text. (I scored a 73)

23. In-Class Assignment: Effective Group Communication
Present your assignment to the class

24. Key Word Quiz
Textbook Page 171

25. Chapter 9 & 10 Goals
Terms – Small group, team, brainstorming, nominal, etc
Understand stages of small group communication
Distinguish among different types of groups – focus, educational, encounter, etc
Define problem-solving sequence and decision-making methods
Explain role of culture in sm group communication
Distinguish among group task roles, group building, etc
Define leadership and understand principles/myths
Figure 2.3

26. Small Group Small group is a collection of individuals
Who are connected to one another by some common purpose
Who are interdependent
Have some degree of organization among them
See themselves as a group

27. Team Particular kind of small group Specific purpose
Clearly defined roles
Goal directed
Content focused

28. In-Class Assignment: Effective Group Communication
Instructions:
Read the guidelines regarding member participation and skills on pages of our text. 
Apply these guidelines to a small group that you belong to (whether it is a book club, a study group, a rock band, a committee, a playgroup, or any other small group where you periodically meet). Document the following:
What is the small group, and what is its goal?
What roles are in the small group? What role do you play?
What dimensions of your small group work well, and what dimensions could use improvement? Based on the areas that can use improvement, select the best practices that could address the improvement areas.
How you will apply these guidelines:
If your small group will meet prior to this assignment being due, to apply the best practices in your meeting. Document which best practices you selected, what you did in the meeting, and the results.
If you don’t have an opportunity to meet with your small group before the assignment is due, describe how you can apply the best practices to that particular group the next time you meet. Include what you will say and do.

29. Small Group Stages
Opening
Feedforward
Business
Feedback
Closing

30. Small Group Formats
Roundtable
Panel
Symposium
Symposium-Forum

31. Small Group Apprehension
Level of Apprehension depends on nature of group, members –superiors or colleagues only, etc
How Apprehensive are you in group discussions?
Textbook Page 178

32. Test Yourself: How Apprehensive are you in a Group?
Textbook Page 178
Manage your emotions
Be aware that you are becoming angry and emotionally volatile – avoid taking action
Seek to understand why you are angry and emotional.
Make a conscious decision about whether to express your anger
Set a mutually acceptable time and place to discuss a conflict.
Monitor your nonverbal messages by speaking calmly, using direct eye contact, and maintaining a calm, non-threatening facial expression.
Avoid personal attacks, name calling, and emotional overstatements that may turn simple conflict into an ego conflict.
People respond to attack by protecting themselves.
Avoid gunnysacking—dredging up old problems and issues from the to use against your partner. Focus on the issues at hand.
Avoid beltlining, hitting below the belt - bringing up issues that are demoralizing to the other
Take time to establish rapport by not immediately diving into the problem. Indentify your goal and determining the outcome you would like

33. Small Group Culture Many established groups develop cultural norms
Group norms are rules or standards that identify which behaviors are considered appropriate
High Context and Low Context Cultures

34. Types of Groups Brainstorming Groups Information Sharing Groups
Educational/Learning Groups
Focus Groups
Personal Growth Groups
Problem Solving Groups

35. What is the purpose of a problem solving group?
Problem-Solving Groups – meet to solve problems or reach decisions; most demanding kind of group
The Problem Solving Sequence – many problem-solving groups follow Dewey’s 6-step problem-solving sequence because it is presumed to be efficient and effective
define and analyze the problem: the problem should be defined as an open-ended question, not as a statement to allow for greater freedom of exploration of solutions
establish criteria for evaluating solutions: the group establishes standards to evaluate possible solutions; usually criteria for evaluation include practical considerations (e.g., staying within a particular budget) and more elusive value criteria (e.g., human rights considerations, potential for interpersonal conflict, etc.)
identify possible solutions: brainstorming is effective during this phase
evaluate solutions (based on established evaluation criteria)
What is the purpose of a problem solving group?

36. Problem Solving Sequence
Define and analyze the problem
Establish evaluation criteria
Identify solutions
Evaluate solutions
Select best solution
Test solution
Evaluating the solutions: one way to evaluate solutions to use the Six Critical Thinking Hats Technique (deBono 1987):
fact hat: focuses on data
feeling hat: focuses on feelings, emotions, and intuitions
negative argument hat: asks you to become a devil’s advocate
positive benefits hat: asks you to look at the upside
creative new idea hat: focuses on new ways of viewing a problem
control of thinking hat: helps you analyze what you’ve done and are doing
Select the best solution(s): methods for making a decision include:
decision by authority: group members voice their feelings and opinions but the leader, boss, or CEO makes the final decision
majority rule: the group take a vote and abides by the majority decision
consensus: the group deliberates until unanimous agreement is reached
Testing selected solution(s): if the solution proves ineffective, the group should return to a previous stage and repeat that part of the process

37. Evaluating the solutions: one way to evaluate solutions to use the Six Critical Thinking Hats Technique (deBono 1987):
fact hat: focuses on data
feeling hat: focuses on feelings, emotions, and intuitions
negative argument hat: asks you to become a devil’s advocate
positive benefits hat: asks you to look at the upside
creative new idea hat: focuses on new ways of viewing a problem
control of thinking hat: helps you analyze what you’ve done and are doing
Select the best solution(s): methods for making a decision include:
decision by authority: group members voice their feelings and opinions but the leader, boss, or CEO makes the final decision
majority rule: the group take a vote and abides by the majority decision
consensus: the group deliberates until unanimous agreement is reached
Testing selected solution(s): if the solution proves ineffective, the group should return to a previous stage and repeat that part of the process

38. Brainstorming Exercise
1. Types of fundraisers that could be successful in generating money to support student financial aid.
Two groups each with a Recorder should write down all ideas on board.  Would some be more feasible than others? Have greatest opportunity for success? Can we narrow down the top 3-5?

39. Problem-Solving Group Exercise
Divide class into two groups and each group selects an idea for fundraiser
Group outlines the event including: - other group can ask questions
Name of Event
Description – dates/time/location
Audience?
How to Market event
Details - Execution
Projected costs, profit

40. Membership, Leadership & Culture

41. Individual and Collective Orientations

42. High & Low Power Distances

43. Members & Leaders Test Yourself – Page 194 and 201
What makes a great leader?

44. Group Think

45. Next Steps

46. Discussion/Homework Week #7
End of Module #7 & #8 Assessment- Due Sunday night, 7.5