1. A Professionals Guide to Conversations With A Grieving Child! Barbara A. McGuire, LCSW, CPS Barbara.A.McGuire@gmail.com Cesar G. Espineda, PhD., CPS cgephd01@gmail.com

2. what is grief? a natural process normal reaction to loss the bodies natural healing response broken heart logic vs. emotion

3. who grieves & how? adults, children, animals death denying – death defying culture grief is as individual as you are how do we learn how to grieve? manifestations /expression of grieve

4. tasks of grief concrete steps toward healing accepting death feeling the pain adjusting to new life w/o deceased withdrawing emotionally (the gap) reinvesting in new relationships

5. conversing with children tell the truth use the ‘d’ word create a safe place to express feelings be brief death means life stops /deceased can’t return

6. more on conversing… explain religious beliefs when appropriate children trust adults to tell the truth, or mistrust begins children create their own version which is ALWAYS worse than reality

7. the big questions affirm great question! i am glad you felt you could ask me, this is a hard thing to talk about sometimes it makes sense you would ask that with all that’s been going on

8. the big questions draw out it seems like you’ve been thinking about this… what do you think? do you have any questions or ideas

9. more big questions… respond/share i want to think about that... i’m not sure. I will get back to you though, I promise have you asked anyone else?

10. assurance they didn’t cause the illness or do something bad they are special and unique there are people who love them and will be there for them no false promises

11. interventions water bugs & dragonflies life circle mad bag drawing & coloring play therapy what’s your worry? my safe box memory box

12. what about you! understand your own feelings, perceptions & beliefs self care meditation exercise journaling support

13. Questions & Answers

14. bibliography Bowlby, J. (1960). Grief and mourning in infancy and early childhood. Psychoanalytic Study of the Child, 15, 9 -52. Grollman, E. A. (Ed.). (1967). Explaining Death to Children. Boston: Beacon Press. Lonetto, R. (1980). Children’s conceptions of death. New York: Springer. Malchiodi, C. A. (1997). Breaking the silence: Art therapy with children from violent homes. New York: Brunner/Mazel. National Association of School Psychologists. (2011). Helping children cope with loss, death, and grief: Response to a national tragedy. Available online at: www.nasponline.org.www.nasponline.org Shriner, J. A. (2012). Family and Consumer Sciences. Young Children’s Understanding of Death. Columbus, Ohio. Stickney, D. (1982). Water Bugs and Dragonflies: Explaining Death to Young Children. Pilgrim Press, Cleveland. Trauma & Loss: Research & Interventions: Volume 3, Number 1, 2003. Available online at: http://www.tlcinst.org/creative.html http://www.tlcinst.org/creative.html Wolfert, Alan. Healing the Bereaved Child: Grief Gardening, Growth Through Grief and Other Touchstones for Caregivers, 1996, Companion Press.