1. LOVE after HIV Melissa Grove M.S., LPC Executive Director Legacy Counseling Center Dallas, Texas

2. Disclaimer

3. Why are we talking about this?  A. Love is an interesting topic  B. I want to help my clients be successful.  C. Because my family/child/friend/spouse/partner is driving me crazy and I want to know how to fix them

4. Relationships matter

5. People

6.  Shame  Embarrassment  Anger  Denial  Guilt  Fear  Isolation  Grief  Uncertainty of future  Resentment Challenges associated with HIV/AIDS

7.  Work  Parenting  Household  Financial Issues  Sexual issues  Life planning  Mental  Physical  But the big one is  RELATIONSHIPS Practical Considerations with HIV

9. WHY DON’T PEOPLE DISCLOSE?

10. How to disclose  Wait for the right person- be picky  Tell your story  Let them off the hook  Be available to answer questions  Hope they walk away  Trust that it will all work out  If they keep walking, thank them

11. What you need to be loved

12. Qualities you need to be fully loved-Brass Ring love  Courage to be your original self  Bravery to reject “good enough”  Faith that you are worthy of love just the way you are  Guts to put yourself out there  Self-awareness to know when you are selling yourself short

13. REMEMBER: LIFE GIVES YOU EXACTLY WHAT YOU DEMAND OF IT, NO MORE, NO LESS

14. YES, even with HIV

15. LIFE and LOVE

16. BRASS RING OF LOVE

17. BRASS Ring

18. BRASS RING LOVE is not FREE

19. Powerful Patient Policies

20. Loving yourself as a starting point If you want to improve your self-esteem, here are some steps to start empowering yourself: Try to stop thinking negative thoughts about yourself. Aim for accomplishments rather than perfection. View mistakes as learning opportunities. Try new things. Recognize what you can change and what you can't. Set goals.

21. How others see you

22. Focus on what you can control

23. Pull my weight*

24. Education

25. Healthy

26. Get Help

27. Socialization

28. Carrying the burden

29. Praising

30. Thankful

31. Humor

32. Make your Mark

33. Superb Supporter Strategies

34. Understanding

35. Boundaries

36. Recharge

37. Communication

38. Expressing genuine concern Treating each other with respect Empowering, not enabling Encouraging, not diminishing Partnering, not parenting

39. TA  PARENT  ADULT  CHILD  PARENT  ADULT  CHILD

40. TA  PARENT  ADULT  CHILD  PARENT  ADULT  CHILD

41. TA  PARENT  ADULT________________  CHILD  PARENT  ADULT  CHILD

43. In Conclusion…