1. Characteristics and how to benefit from?

2. + Pulls away from the family + Finds faults with the family and especially parents + Does not like anything that’s equated with childishness + Likes to live a separate life + Wants to prove that he/she can be independent + Doesn’t accept advice unless it’s given with respect and valuing of independence

3. + Wants to have own opinions + Wants to be different from the family in some ways + Wants to do things his/her way + Questions accepted norms + Tendency to be argumentative

4. + Physical changes of puberty and growth + Emotional roller coaster + Many internal conflicts – 1) independence vs. need for family 2) Individuality vs. lack of confidence 3) How he is vs. how the world wants him to be (peers, family, society, church)

5. + Privacy and need for personal space + Generation and culture gap + Separate life from the family

6. + Very sensitive about physical appearance + Very sensitive about social appearance + Easily embarrassed + Very sensitive to criticism especially from peers + Very mindful of peers especially opposite sex

7. + Lots of new and uncomfortable feelings + Lots of social challenges in dealing with the opposite sex- an area of insecurity at the same time that it is an area that needs to be negotiated. + Lots of societal and peer pressure regarding expected relations with opposite sex + Lots of mixed messages regarding sexuality

9. الشباب في هذه المرحلة يحتاج... إليك أنت You يحتاج منك أن تعلمه كيف يصبح إنسان ناضج They need you to teach them how to be an adult who is محب Loving ناجح Successful مؤثر Functioning Teens need …

10. + Has to be both ways + Who talks more? + Understand before intervening + Influence not change + Look for teachable moments not lectures

11. لابد للشاب أن يجد من يسمعه He has to find who will listen لابد للشاب أن يجد من يسمعه He has to find who will listen نفسه self اصدقاءه friends أهله Family ربنا God

12. الموبايل Mobile الإكتئاب Depression Chatting Face book لابد للشاب أن يجد من يسمعه He has to find someone to listen لابد للشاب أن يجد من يسمعه He has to find someone to listen الخيال Imagination الابداع Creativity

13. من الطفولة Since Childhood من الطفولة Since Childhood فى كل مشكلة In every problem فى كل مشكلة In every problem فى وقت مناسب وغير مناسب In suitable & unsuitable times فى وقت مناسب وغير مناسب In suitable & unsuitable times متى تسمع ابنك ؟؟ When do you listen? متى تسمع ابنك ؟؟ When do you listen?

14. فى كل شئ In everything فى كل شئ In everything فيما تسمع لابنك.. ؟!! What do you listen to? فيما تسمع لابنك.. ؟!! What do you listen to? مع كل جديد In all new things مع كل جديد In all new things المخاوف... Fears المخاوف... Fears

15. بصبر... Patience بصبر... Patience بتفهم... Understanding بتفهم... Understanding كيف تسمع ابنك ؟!! How do you listen? كيف تسمع ابنك ؟!! How do you listen? باحترام... Respect باحترام... Respect

16. بحب In Love بحب In Love بتشجيع Encouraging بتشجيع Encouraging بتفاهم Understanding بتفاهم Understanding كيف تسمع ابنك ؟!! How do you listen? كيف تسمع ابنك ؟!! How do you listen?

17. بتركيز Attention بتركيز Attention بأمانة Honesty بأمانة Honesty كيف تسمع ابنك ؟؟ How to listen? كيف تسمع ابنك ؟؟ How to listen? باعجاب Admiration باعجاب Admiration

18. المقاطعة Interruption المقاطعة Interruption احذر.... Bewar e احذر.... Bewar e التجاهل Neglect التجاهل Neglect الغضب Anger الغضب Anger التهكم Sarcasm التهكم Sarcasm التأجيل الكثير Dealying التأجيل الكثير Dealying لغة الأوامر Ordering لغة الأوامر Ordering

19. + If you always win, you’ve lost + Negotiation facilitates compliance + Negotiation respects and builds up the teen + Think of the 3 baskets – You need some in every basket YES NO Maybe

20. + Limits have to be based on teen’s abilities not parents’ fears + Better to say when something will be allowed based on demonstrating responsibility than just saying “no”. + Learning experiences are better earlier when harms are smaller than later when harms are bigger + Mistakes are part of learning

21. الحوار والتواصل Ask questions that require more than Yes & No replies الحوار والتواصل Ask questions that require more than Yes & No replies إسمع أكثر ووجه أقل Listen more, lecture less إسمع أكثر ووجه أقل Listen more, lecture less دورك Your Role دورك Your Role تعرف عليه أكثر من محاولة تغييره Aim to know your teen rather than changing your teen تعرف عليه أكثر من محاولة تغييره Aim to know your teen rather than changing your teen السامرية زكا

22. + There will always be risk – teen has to learn to gradually handle bigger responsibilities + Overprotection leads to either rebellion or dependence + Smothering is usually about the parent dealing with their own anxiety than about helping the teen. Teens can usually tell the difference and will protest more.

23. + Accept that the teen has to do things according to their abilities not according to the parent’s abilities. + Micromanaging leads to rebellion or dependence whereas supervision leads to learning and growth. + Micromanaging is telling the teen that they can’t do it which is counter to all their needs.

24. + Prying destroys the teen’s individuality whereas monitoring is to guide. + prying is a form of controlling leading to counter measures by the teen whereas monitoring is part of guidance and influencing not intruding and controlling.

25. + Your teen needs to know that you have some trust in their abilities. + Your teen needs to know that you trust what they say. + Your teen needs to be able to trust you. + They need to trust that you will be truthful with them and that you will not invade their privacy. + Trust breeds trust and mistrust breeds mistrust.

26. + Your teen needs your respect otherwise they will lose respect for you even if they fear you.

27. + Role model better than a sermon + Conviction is better than “ because I said so”

28. ⁺ No parental conflicts before the children ⁺ Eating, praying, outing together ⁺ Liturgy unites families ⁺ Humility unites families, parents need to lean to be humble

29. أساسيات لابد أن يكتسبها المراهق التواصل Can connect تحمل المسئولية Responsibility النضوج Maturity التحكم في النفس Self Control قيم ومثل وإيمانيات A set of values, ethics & beliefs لديه هدف واضح Focused, not lost روحيا (غير منفصل عن الله) Spiritually, not separated from God إقتربوا إلى الله فيقترب إليكم (يع 4 : 8) (Jam 4 : 8) Qualities to give to your teens Qualities to give to your teens

30. يقولها ابنك لك... Your son…. يقولها ابنك لك... Your son…. يقولها الله لك... God says it يقولها الله لك... God says it من فضلك إسمعنى... !!؟ Please…Listen من فضلك إسمعنى... !!؟ Please…Listen تقولها انت لابنك... You say it.. تقولها انت لابنك... You say it.. احذر فوات الوقت Watch the time احذر فوات الوقت Watch the time لابد أن يحذر فوات الوقت Watch the time لابد أن يحذر فوات الوقت Watch the time احذر فوات الوقت Watch the time احذر فوات الوقت Watch the time