1. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Introductions and Conclusions – Week 4 OSPI High School Instructional Support Materials for Writing Version 2 These materials were developed by Washington teachers to help students improve their writing.

2. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. OSPI Writing Instructional Support Materials Core Development Team Nikki Elliott-Schuman – OSPI, Project Director Charlotte Carr – Retired Seattle SD, Facilitator Barbara Ballard – Coupeville SD Anne Beitlers – Seattle SD Marcie Belgard – Richland SD Betsy Cornell – Moses Lake SD Lydia-Laquatra Fesler – Spokane SD Lori Hadley – Puyallup SD Lissa Humphreys – East Valley SD (Spokane) Kathleen McGuinness – Kennewick SD Lisa McKeen – East Valley SD (Yakima) Sharon Schilperoort – Yakima SD Holly Stein – Eastside Catholic High School

3. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Purpose To help students develop more effective introductions and conclusions for any piece of writing To apply everything learned in the last four weeks and to analyze successes

4. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Agenda – Day 1 Score last Fridays writing. Quick write. Discuss. Present introduction strategies. Evaluate student and published samples. Reflect.

5. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Compare with WASL Scoring Guides and Persuasive Checklist. Review the WASL Scoring Guides and Persuasive Checklist. Discuss in your group What makes a good essay? How do your essays take a position, organize information, and match the Persuasive Checklist?

6. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Compare with WASL Scoring Guides and Checklists. On your own Score your own paper. Think about the score you earned, and why you think you earned it.

7. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Quick Write Why are openings/introductions to a piece of writing important?

8. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Discussion Turn to your partner and discuss. What makes a good introduction? Share with the class. What makes a good introduction? Why is it important?

9. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Purposes for Introductions The opening/introduction grabs the readers attention. clearly implies an organizational structure of the paper. is connected to the body of the writing and is a clear lead-in to the main idea or thesis. includes a thesis that is stated or implied.

10. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Strategies for Introductions A writer may begin with an anecdote or scenario a quotation or dialogue a brief history/overview 5 Ws of situation or issue an interesting fact a description a question taking a stand a contrasting situation a combination of the above list

11. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Evaluating Student Samples With a partner, identify the introduction strategies in sample papers. Highlight strategies and change colors with each new strategy. Use the Introduction Strategies (on your handout) as a guide. Then discuss the introductions using the following questions to help you. What introduction strategies did the author use? Did you want to read on? Are they effective? Why or why not? Share out.

12. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Expository #1 – Time Capsule My name is Andy Smith, and I represent the Students for Liberty Club at Taylor High School. I am submitting suggestions on behalf of the club for the time capsule that was proposed last fall. We would like to rescind our earlier suggestion of a piece of pizza. While it is doubtful that food from the school cafeteria will change much over the years, it does not give much insight into everyday life at THS. After lengthy deliberation, we have decided that the two things that would most accurately portray student life are a video of last years pep assembly and a statue of our school mascot, the Taylor Goose.

13. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Expository #2 – Time Capsule A sudden rush of reality rushed though my mind, and I found myself back into the classroom. I was upset to be awakened from my euphoric dream state. But my distress soared when the shadow of my teacher lurked into my vision. Immediately my eyes went wide to indicate I was attentive. As usual, the sixth sense all teachers hold knew otherwise, so she knew I was sleeping before I did. This was a typical experience for me at the grand building on the corner of 3rd and 4th. Dear Ol Ebersoll High School. The first idea that floats into my head when thinking for items to fill a time capsule would be without a doubt a pillow. Something I hoped and prayed for throughout those tedious hours. There is no other single object that is a better representation of a school year here. This couldnt be just any pillow. It would have to be a comfort better than the clouds of heaven… [A discussion of the pillow and then a second object, a school pom- pom follows.]

14. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Persuasive #1 – Your Community A nine year old and his best friends are proudly walking down a dirt trail to the pond to catch tadpoles. Its a beautiful, quiet spring day. The woods are alive with birds, squirrels, and chipmunks. Theres hardly any crime, and everybody seems to be happy. You must think thats a perfect community for a teen to grow up in. Over 2,000 people must have thought that because they decided to move right in. The beautiful pond with frogs and tadpoles is now just a dried-up rock bed. The forest, alive with deer and animals, is now thousands of luxurious houses with a development name…

15. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Persuasive #2 – School Rules As an appointed member of the recently established School Rule Review Committee, I have spent the past few days along with my colleague, Mr. C., looking over the rules and regulations of Smith High School concerning transportation and the housing of vehicles. In doing so, it has come to our attention that one in particular fails to support the needs and wishes of the student body. I am referring to Article III, Section IV of the Rules and Regulations handbook which states that The parking of motor vehicles in the tricycle lot is prohibited. Violators will be subject to immediate defenestration. Presently, the rule is more of a hindrance than help for the school.

16. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Evaluating Published Models With a partner, search through books, magazines, or newspapers in your classroom and see how authors have used introduction strategies. Introductions may be one or two sentences or several paragraphs. Identify the strategies you find. Which ones are most effective and why? Team up with another set of partners and share one especially effective example with each other.

17. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Try it… Lets look back at your first on-demand prompt of this class. If you could be any age, what age would you be? Write a multiple-paragraph essay for your teacher identifying the age you would be and explaining why you would choose this age. Look at the Introduction Checklist for what makes a good introduction, then rewrite your introduction for this prompt.

18. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Read for conventions. Basic spelling (including homonyms) Capitalization Punctuation Periods (run-togethers), apostrophes (possessives), commas, question marks especially in rhetorical questions Subject-verb agreement, particularly number agreement with their (pronoun referents and verb agreement) Complete sentences Paragraphing Conventions on your own personal list in your folder

19. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Reflection How are your two introductions different? Which do you prefer and why?

20. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Agenda – Day 2 Quick write. Discuss. Present conclusion strategies. Evaluate student and published samples. Reflect.

21. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Quick Write Look at the following conclusions. Which conclusion do you think is more effective? What do you notice that is different between these two conclusions? Why do you think conclusions are important? 1. The outside world hasnt touched you when you are six. You look forward to being a cool teenager and maybe even having a boyfriend, but there is much you do not know. At six, you are protected from the world, and looking back, I realize I did not appreciate it. 2. I would like being an adult and giving to my community and just my life.

22. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Discussion Turn to your partner and discuss. Which conclusion did you pick and why? What makes a good conclusion? What is the purpose for a conclusion? What should it accomplish? Share with the class. What makes a good conclusion? Why is it important?

23. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Purposes of Conclusions The ending/conclusion clearly connects introduction and body of the paper with insightful comments or analysis. wraps up the writing and gives the reader something to think about.

24. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Conclusion Strategies – Ways to Achieve the Purpose A writer may end with an echo from the beginning of piece a quotation an anecdote an interesting fact a prediction a question a call to action a generalization from given information a self-reflection a response to a so what? question a combination of the above list

25. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Evaluating Student Samples With a partner, identify the conclusion strategies in sample papers. As you and your partner find different strategies, highlight them, changing colors with each new strategy. Discuss the conclusions using the Conclusion Scoring Guide. Use the following questions to help you. What type of conclusion strategies did the author use? Are they effective? Why or why not? What should a conclusion accomplish?

26. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Expository # 1 – Time Capsule I do not pretend to know what life will be like in the year 2204. The odds that we will all be dead are high as are the chances of some kind of war. It is safe to assume that the world will have changed much. This is why we must preserve our legacy. The video will help future high school students to know what happened here and maybe broaden their own view of the world. Even when we are all dead and gone, the Taylor Goose [mascot] will stand in silent tribute to an age gone by.

27. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Expository # 2 – Time Capsule Now as my capsule is full, I will lower it into the ground of the past hopefully to be recovered years later, even as the dirt covers it, insects attack it, and time buries it deep. I have a sure belief that if it were to arise decades from now, it would relate to each and every student.

28. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Persuasive # 1 – My Community I hate seeing more developments and more houses pop up around me. This is no place for a teen to grow up in. The crime rate has tripled. The noise pollution is unbelievable. On top of all that, no one has fun any more. No one is smiling. I do not consider this a good place for a teen to live.

29. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Persuasive # 2 – School Rules By allowing owners of motor scooters parking privileges in the tricycle lot, the students will be delighted and tardies will promptly drop down to their previous numbers. Thirty years ago Article III Section IV was created for a purpose which it served most effectively. Now that threat is gone and new circumstances call for change. As amusing as it is to watch violators being thrown from a window, I hope that you will consider my words as legitimate representation of the student body and amend the policy. Thank you for your time.

30. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Evaluating Published Models With a partner, search through books, magazines, or newspapers in your classroom and see how authors have used conclusions. Conclusions may be as short as a few sentences or more than one paragraph. Identify the conclusion strategies you find. Which ones are most effective and why? Team up with another set of partners and share one especially effective example with each other.

31. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Try it… Lets look back at your first on-demand prompt of this class. If you could be any age, what age would you be? Write a multiple-paragraph essay for your teacher identifying the age you would be and explaining why you would choose this age. Take a look at your options from the list of conclusions, then write a new conclusion for this prompt.

32. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Read for conventions. Basic spelling (including homonyms) Capitalization Punctuation Periods (run-togethers), apostrophes (possessives), commas, question marks especially in rhetorical questions Subject-verb agreement, particularly number agreement with their (pronoun referents and verb agreement) Complete sentences Paragraphing Conventions on your own personal list in your folder

33. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Reflection How are your two conclusions different? Which is more effective and why?

34. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Agenda – Day 3 Practice writing multiple introductions. Practice writing multiple conclusions. Put it all together. Read for conventions. Review. Reflect.

35. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Practicing Introductions Find something that you have written in this class for which you would like to revise the introduction. Write at least 2 different introductions for that piece of writing. Read for conventions. Switch with a partner. Using the Introduction Scoring Guide, score all introductions and evaluate which introduction is best and why.

36. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Practicing Conclusions Find something that you have written in this class for which you would like to revise the conclusion. Write at least 2 different conclusions for that piece of writing. Read for conventions. Switch with a partner. Using the Conclusion Scoring Guide, score all conclusions and evaluate which conclusion is best and why.

37. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Putting It All Together Choose a persuasive paper from last weeks writing. Using your new knowledge of introductions and conclusions, rewrite an introduction and conclusion to this persuasive essay.

38. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Read for conventions. Basic spelling (including homonyms) Capitalization Punctuation Periods (run-togethers), apostrophes (possessives), commas, question marks especially in rhetorical questions Subject-verb agreement, particularly number agreement with their (pronoun referents and verb agreement) Complete sentences Paragraphing Conventions on your own personal list in your folder

39. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Rotating Review Review what youve already learned about choosing a topic narrowing a topic organizing the paper elaborating on the topic introductions conclusions checking for conventions

40. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Reflect What have your learned about introductions and conclusions that you need to remember? How did your new introduction and conclusion improve from the original? Be specific.

41. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Agenda – Day 4 Write to WASL expository prompt. Read for conventions.

42. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Write on-demand to the following prompt. Today you can change places with anyone you would like to be. This person can be real or imaginary, from the past or the present. Write a letter to a teacher that explains why you would like to change places with this person.

43. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Read for conventions. Basic spelling (including homonyms) Capitalization Punctuation Periods (run-togethers), apostrophes (possessives), commas, question marks especially in rhetorical questions Subject-verb agreement, particularly number agreement with their (pronoun referents and verb agreement) Complete sentences Paragraphing Conventions on your own personal list in your folder

44. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Agenda – Day 5 Compare yesterdays writing with the WASL Scoring Guides. Reflection - Write a comparison of your first weeks writing to yesterdays writing. Share your success!

45. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Compare yesterdays writing with WASL Scoring Guides Review the WASL Scoring Guides and Expository Checklist. Write. What did you do well? What is still a challenge? Look at your goal form.

46. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Compare with WASL Scoring Guides, continued Now have a partner identify and discuss What were the areas of strength? In what areas could the paper be stronger? On your own Score your own paper. What score did you earn and why?

47. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Reflection Take out of your folder the first piece of writing that you did on day one (What Age Would You Like to Be?). Next take out the writing you did yesterday (Trading Places with Someone). Compare these pieces of writing answering the following questions. Be sure to elaborate and include specific details. What have you noticed that shows how you have improved as a writer? In what areas have you made the most progress during this class? Which goals that you made at the beginning of this class did you meet? Do you have goals for writing in the future? If you could rewrite your last essay, what would you do differently?

48. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Share Your Success! From your latest expository paper, take one sentence that you are proud of to share aloud with the class. Explain why you chose that sentence.

49. Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Feedback, please We welcome your comments. Please feel free to try these lessons and send feedback to Nikki Elliott-Schuman at nelliott@ospi.wednet.edu. We appreciate your labeling the subject line as Feedback: OSPI Instructional Support Materials. nelliott@ospi.wednet.edu