1. Student Development and Counselling

2. Emotional intelligence noun: emotional intelligence the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one's emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically. "emotional intelligence is the key to both personal and professional success"

4.  A piece of information that tells you something about how you are experiencing your world.  Are one thing common to all thus provides a sense of community  Are experienced internally and expressed externally  All emotions are forms of energy and can provide motivation  Are both consciously and unconsciously generated  Are modified by the socialisation process and genetic makeup of a person (temperament)  Are not good or bad – they just are…………….

5. Types of emotions

7. Self awareness http://joshuaspodek.com/model-cognitive-behavioral-therapy These relationships are depicted below:

8. 6 seconds https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNY0AAUtH3g

9. S top: pause for 6 seconds T ake a breath: one slow calm breath O bserve: What am I thinking? What am I reacting to? What am I feeling in my body? P ull Back: Put in some perspective. See the bigger picture. Is this fact or opinion. P ractice/proceed: What’s the best thing to do for me, for others, for the situation? STOPP STOPP

10. DescriptionSample Activities Cognitive strategiesChallenging your thoughts or letting them go Physical strategiesMeditation, yoga, guided imagery, breathing regulation, exercise, grounding Withdrawal/avoidanceStep away from person, situation or activity Pleasurable activitiesHumour, hobbies, socialising Emotional dialogueVenting, talking with others Indirect tension relaxantTV, chocolate, coffee, movies Direct tension relaxantMedication

11. Disputation – find different ways to think about a situation…… ◦ Evidence - What evidence do you have to justify the thoughts and feelings you have? ◦ Thinking errors – Am I thinking irrationally about the situation? (What thinking errors are you making?) ◦ Alternatives - What are other possible causes of the situation? Are there other perspectives?? ◦ Implications - Is reacting in this way going to help or hinder? ◦ Usefulness - Sometimes the consequences of holding a thought are more destructive than the thought itself

12.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LhLjpsstPY https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LhLjpsstPY

13. Passive: I don’t count, so you can take advantage of me. My feelings, needs and thoughts are less important than yours. I’ll put up with anything. Assertive: This is what I think. This is how I feel. This is how I see the situation. How about you? If our needs conflict, I am certainly ready to explore our differences and I may be prepared to compromise. Aggressive: This is what I think, what I want and what I feel. What matters to you isn’t important.

14. “I” statements: I feel/ I’ve noticed… When you… because… I would prefer/could you please… Example: “You have given me too much work” “I feel overwhelmed because of all the work I have to do, is there anyway I can delegate this to someone else?”

15.  Be aware of how situations impact your thoughts, feelings and physical reactions and how these may influence your behaviours.  Listen to verbal cues and observe non-verbal cues of others  Use “I” statements not “you” statements  STOPP (stop, take breath, observe, pull back, practice/proceed)  Don’t immediately believe all of your thoughts- challenge them!  Do regular self-care activities

16.  More reserved= move to left  More outgoing= move to right

17. To the more outgoing group… Move to front of the room if you describe yourself as someone who:  Seeks challenges  Tells it how it is  Get the job down fast and efficiently  Focus on achieving results  Takes initiative

18. To the more outgoing group… Move to the back of the room if you describe yourself as someone who:  Generates enthusiasm in others  Likes working with others  Make sure there is time to talk  Focus on overall vision  Skim over detail

19. To the more reserved group… Move to front of the room if you describe yourself as someone who:  Pays attention to detail  Approaches tasks systematically and thoroughly  Set very high standards  Thinks critically and analytically  Organise tasks, files, drawers, cupboards well

20. To the more reserved group… Move to the back of the room if you describe yourself as someone who:  Work well as part of a team  Make yourself available for others  Maintain current arrangements  Take time to listen and consult  Smooth problems over to maintain a good relationship

22. What are the strengths of your style? What do you feel uncomfortable about in your style? Limitations? What do you value about the other styles in the room? What do you find difficult about them?

23. How would you approach another person who is causing you a difficulty? Think of what you would say, the time, the place and the setting. How would you like to be approached if you were someone who was causing difficulty? Share responses with larger group