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2. Drafter Updates Buddy Updates Welcome back Kate! Mrs T’s Lang Arts Class Personal Essay : Finding myself again 3 Comments College: My Harvard Dream 15 Comments Each icon represents a draft of the writing task Drafter Stats Drafter Stats 4 Drafts 120 points 1 Publication 50 points Instructor Bonus 27 points 12 Comments Received 24 points Mrs T’s Lang Arts Class Alex Burke Draft 1 ‘My Stanford Dream’ 3 Comments Given, 1 Comment Adopted Marie G. Draft 3 ‘An unfulfilled promise’’ 1 Comment Given Marie G. Draft 2 ‘A Broken Promise ’ 3 Comments Given, 2 Comments Adopted My Publications Buddy Stats 23 Comments Given 46 points 9 Comments Adopted 45 points 312 points Super Drafter!

3. Mrs T’s Lang Arts Class These are your Drafter Updates Personal Essay : Finding myself again 3 Comments College: My Harvard Dream 5 Comments New Message from Mrs T - Ready for a new challenge? Start on your travelogue by clicking New Message from Mrs T – Great job on ‘The Importance of Family Trees’, Kate! You clearly…. Fox has posted a comment on Draft 1 of ‘College: My Harvard Dream’ Updates Exposition : The Importance of Family Trees Published Nov 30, 2011 Instructors can award points based on the final published work, and provide comments Instructor Bonus 27 points Drafter Stats Drafter Stats 4 Drafts 120 points 1 Publication 50 points Instructor Bonus 27 points 12 Comments Received 24 points

4. Influence? Why is it that the people who influence us most influence us in ways that are not easily quantified? Thro her wk with abused children, my mother has shown me the heroism of selfless dedication to a worthy cause. By being an upstanding individual, my playwriting teacher in middle school acted as an inspiring male role model at a time when I needed one most. By being approachable and interesting, my World History teacher in my freshman year of high school opened my eyes to the connections between a society's culture and its history and broadened my view of cultures and the world. While these influences mean much to me and have contributed greatly to my development, they came too easily to mind. Mrs T’s Lang Arts Class College : My Harvard Dream Mrs T’s Lang Arts Class College : My Harvard Dream You have 1 unread comment for Draft 1 Opening Paragraph Hook Is this opening paragraph interesting and focused ? Average rating by 5 Drafter Buddies Draft 1 Draft 2 Quick Feedback Remember : A good opening paragraph will ‘hook the audience. It will be interesting and cause the reader to want to read more. The focus of the paragraph will be clear. Mrs T says… Feedback from Drafter Buddies Alex: Maybe you should spell out the words ? Since this is a college entrance essay..) Alex: Maybe you should spell out the words ? Since this is a college entrance essay..) Fox: what do you mean by this? Save Go to Draft 2

5. Influence? Why is it that the people who influence us most influence us in ways that are not easily quantified? Through her work with abused children, my mother has shown me the heroism of selfless dedication to a worthy cause. By being an upstanding individual, my playwriting teacher in middle school acted as an inspiring male role model at a time when I needed one most. By being approachable and interesting, my World History teacher in my freshman year of high school opened my eyes to the connections between a society's culture and its history and broadened my view of cultures and the world. While these influences mean much to me and have contributed greatly to my development, they came too easily to mind. Mrs T’s Lang Arts Class College : My Harvard Dream Mrs T’s Lang Arts Class College : My Harvard Dream You have adopted 1 comment in Draft 2 Clarity Is it clear what the main point of this paragraph is? Request Feedback for Draft 2 Now Draft 1 Draft 2 Quick Feedback Remember to : Present a unique point of view Have a main point for your paragraph Support your main point with evidence /anecdotes Mrs T says… Feedback from Drafter Buddies Alex: Maybe you should spell out the words ? Since this is a college entrance essay..) Alex: Maybe you should spell out the words ? Since this is a college entrance essay..) Fox: what do you mean by this?  > > When writers are satisfied with their draft, they can invite feedback from their assigned drafter buddies Tick indicates that feedback was adopted by the writer

6. Influence? Why is it that the people who influence us most influence us in ways that are not easily quantified? Through her work with abused children, my mother has shown me the heroism of selfless dedication to a worthy cause. By being an upstanding individual, my playwriting teacher in middle school acted as an inspiring male role model at a time when I needed one most. By being approachable and interesting, my World History teacher in my freshman year of high school opened my eyes to the connections between a society's culture and its history and broadened my view of cultures and the world. While these influences mean much to me and have contributed greatly to my development, they came too easily to mind. Mrs T’s Lang Arts Class College : My Harvard Dream Mrs T’s Lang Arts Class College : My Harvard Dream You have adopted 1 feedback comment in draft 2 Clarity Is it clear what the main point of this paragraph is? Average rating by 1 Drafter Buddy Draft 1 Draft 2 Quick Feedback Remember to : Present a unique point of view Have a main point for your paragraph Support your main point with evidence /anecdotes Mrs T says… Feedback from Drafter Buddies Alex: Maybe you should spell out the words ? Since this is a college entrance essay..) Alex: Maybe you should spell out the words ? Since this is a college entrance essay..) Fox: what do you mean by this?  > > Fox: I think this is a stupid essay. Writers can ‘block’ drafter buddies Save Ready to Publish?

7. You currently have 1 work published College : My Harvard Dream Your Publications Book cover Edit? With special thanks to Mrs T & Alex Burke for their wisdom and support Dedication Edit? Dedication to writing instructor and drafter buddies whose feedback was adopted The Importance of Family Trees Kate Willis Publish Now?

8. Congratulations! You have published 2 writing pieces! Your Publications College: My Harvard Dream The Importance of Family Trees Kate Willis

9. Congratulations Kate! You have published ‘College: My Harvard Dream’ I nfluence? Why is it that the people who influence us most influence us in ways that are not easily quantified? Through her work with abused children, my mother has shown me the heroism of selfless dedication to a worthy cause. By being an upstanding individual, my playwriting teacher in middle school acted as an inspiring male role model at a time when I needed one most. By being approachable and interesting, my World History teacher in my freshman year of high school opened my eyes to the connections between a society's culture and its history and broadened my view of cultures and the world. 1 College: My Harvard Dream With special thanks to Mrs T & Alex Burke for their wisdom and support The ‘play’ button enables readers/instructors to see all the changes they have made ‘played’ out

10. Drafter Updates Buddy Updates Welcome back Kate! Mrs T’s Lang Arts Class Personal Essay : Finding myself again 3 Comments College: My Harvard Dream 15 Comments Each icon represents a draft of the writing task Drafter Stats Drafter Stats 4 Drafts 120 points 1 Publication 50 points Instructor Bonus 27 points 12 Comments Received 24 points Mrs T’s Lang Arts Class Alex Burke Draft 1 ‘My Stanford Dream’ 3 Comments Given, 1 Comment Adopted Marie G. Draft 3 ‘An unfulfilled promise’’ 1 Comment Given Marie G. Draft 2 ‘A Broken Promise ’ 3 Comments Given, 2 Comments Adopted My Publications Buddy Stats 23 Comments Given 46 points 9 Comments Adopted 45 points 312 points Super Drafter!

11. Give feedback to your Drafter Buddies! Alex Burke – Draft 1 ‘My Stanford Dream’ 3 Comments Given, 1 Comment Adopted Marie G. – Draft 3 ‘An unfulfilled promise’’ 1 Comment Given Marie G. – Draft 2 ‘A Broken Promise ’ 3 Comments Given, 2 Comment s Adopted Give feedback to Fox – Draft 1 ‘Why I Hate School’ Give feedback to Alex Burke– Draft 2 ‘My Stanford Dream’ Marie G. has just published ‘An unfulfilled promise’ Hyperlinks to Drafter Buddies’ Drafts and My Comments Mrs T’s Lang Arts Class Your Buddy Stats 23 Comments Given 46 points 9 Comments Adopted 45 points Updates Your Drafter Buddies’ Stats Alex Burke 332 points Marie G. 372 points Fox 246 points Kylie Wu 345 points 312 points Super Drafter!