1. Marriage Today… 54% of individuals over age of 15 are married 27% have never married 18% are divorced, separated or widowed Delaying marriage until older U.S. Bureau of the Census, 2004

2. The Benefits of Marriage Healthier lifestyle Longer life More satisfying sexual relationship Children do better Waite & Gallagher, 2000; Waite, 1998

3. Marital Trends Marriage rate declining Increase number of people who divorce not remarrying Number of cohabitating couples rising

4. Components of a Successful Marriage Independent and mature partners Love self as well as partner Enjoy alone time Establish self in career/work first Partners know themselves Assertive communication patterns Law of enlightened self interest

5. Marriage Preparation Rising interest in preparing for marriage Premarital programs: ◦ Often clergy led ◦ Limited depth ◦ 1-2 sessions common ◦ Workshop, retreat, or small group common formats

6. Premarital Programs Effective programs: Utilize a premarital inventory Focus on communication and problem solving skills Occur in small group format with other couples Begin 12 months prior to marriage— lasting 6-8 weeks

7. The Transition to Marriage First-year problems faced by newlyweds (in order of importance) Debt brought into marriage Balancing job and marriage Frequency of sexual relations Expectation about household tasks In-laws Financial decision making Communication Schramm et al., 2005

8. Five Types of Marriage Vitalized Harmonious Traditional Conflicted Devitalized Olson & Olson, 2000; Allen & Olson, 2001

9. “Marriage Work” Marriages require work Couple time can get lost in midst of family time: ◦ Limit family outside activities ◦ Schedule couple time and activities View marriage as an investment for self and family

10. Two Important Roles Sacrifice ◦ One puts partner’s needs first ◦ Partner puts relationship above selfish interests Forgiveness ◦ Needs to be part of conflict resolution ◦ Decreases negativity and increases positive feelings and goodwill

11. Love Life for Every Married Couple Dr. Ed Wheat, The Five ways of love Epithumia: strong desire of any kind Eros: Yearning and desire. Romantic, passionate and sentimental. Storge: Comfortable old-shoe relationship. Natural affection and sense of belonging Phileo: Cherishes and tender affection for the beloved but expecting a response Agape: A love of action, not emotion. Focuses on what you do and say, rather than how you feel