1. Coping with Difficult People by Robert M. Bramson 1988 Hostile Aggressive: Sherman Tank Abusive, abrupt, intimidating, overwhelming Attack personal behaviors and characteristics A need to prove s/he is right The Sniper Pot shots, innuendoes, non-playful teasing, subtle digs, don’t like confrontation The Exploder Tantrums, rage filled attacks, blame, suspicion

2. Coping Plan for Sherman Tanks Give them a little time to run down Jump in any way you can Get their attention (proximity, call by name) Get them to sit down Maintain Eye Contact State your opinions forcefully Don’t argue

3. Coping Plan for Snipers Surface the attack Provide a peaceful alternative to a direct contest Seek group confirmation or denial of the Sniper’s criticism Move on to solve any problems that arise

4. Coping Plan for Exploders Give them time to run down If they don’t run down, cut into the tantrum with a neutral phrase like “stop” Show them that you take them seriously If possible, take a breather with them to the side and in private

5. Complainers: May point out real problems, but rarely wants to solve them Feel powerless to determine fate Strong sense of how others should behave (prescriptive) Self-validating that they are not in control or responsible for things that are done wrong (perfectionism)

6. Coping Plan for Complainers Listen attentively Acknowledge what they are saying Don’t agree with them or apologize Avoid the accusation-defense-re- accusation State and acknowledge facts Try to get them into a problem-solving mode (ask questions, assign tasks, etc.) If all else fails, ask “How do you want this discussion to end?”

7. Clams Silent and unresponsive or responds with yes, no or grunt May use body language (staring, glaring, frowning, folded arms) This may occur for different reasons Defensive, denying access, distrust, avoiding reality, mask fears, sullen anger, spiteful

8. Coping Plan for Clams Get the clam to open up Ask open-ended questions Wait for a response, don’t fill silence with conversation Plan time to wait with composure If no response, comment on it If they open, be attentive and don’t gush If Clam stays closed, avoid a polite ending, end the meeting, and set another appointment

9. Super Agreeables Strong need to be liked Make others feel liked Tell you things that are satisfying to hear Commit to unrealistic actions Lead you to believe that there is agreement and then let you down

10. Coping Plan for Super Agreeables Surface the underlying facts and issues that prevent them from taking action Let them know that you value them as people Ask them to tell you about things that might interfere with your good relationship Be ready to compromise and negotiate Listen to the humor for hidden messages

11. Negativist Criticizes the group process Believe that everything will fail (skeptic) Negative statements are made with conviction Believe those in power do not care

12. Coping Plan for Negativist Be alert to being dragged down Make realistic, optimistic statements Do not try to argue Do not offer solutions-alternatives until the problem has been thoroughly discussed Raise negative statements yourself Be ready to take action on your own

13. Know-it-alls Bulldozers Tone of certainty, condescending Imposing Assigns blame Make others feel stupid Balloons Act knowledgeable, arrogant Curious and alert to information

14. Coping Plan for Bulldozers Prepare yourself Listen carefully and acknowledge Do not challenge, use questions Monitor your own bulldozing tendencies As a last resort, choose to subordinate yourself

15. Coping Plan for Balloons Restate facts Give him/her a way out, save face Be ready to fill conversation gap Cope with him/her alone

16. Indecisives Perfectionist at heart Unable to cope with stress Super-helpful Postpones decisions, procrastinates Hint and beat around the bush

17. Coping Plan for Indecisives Make it easy for them to tell you about conflicts or reservations Listen for indirect words, hesitations, and omissions Help them resolve problems when issues have surfaced Help them examine facts Give support after the decision Watch for signs of anger or withdrawal