1. Listening Skills COS 4860

2. Listening Skills Objectives Demonstrate listening to understand the speaker. Recognize & demonstrate good attending. Recognize & demonstrate reflection. Recognize how metacommunication can improve understanding by clarifying incongruent communication.

3. Listening to Understand Listening is more than just hearing what another person has said. Effective listening involves working to truly understand the other’s situation, concern, or point of view. There are three types of listening: persuasive, directive, & attentive; each with a different purpose.

4. Types of Listening Persuasive – listening only to find an opening to take control of the conversation (ie, TV reporter). Directive – listening to clarify the issues & decide how to lead the conversation in a desired direction (ie, sales person). Attentive – listening to learn about the other’s perspective & develop intimacy (ie, friend).

5. Attending Attentive listening involves letting go of your own agenda, & tuning in to the other person with your full attention. It also involves letting the other person see that you are attentive—that is, physically demonstrating your interest & attention through your posture, facial expression, body language, & response.

6. Physical Attending Face the person you are listening to. Maintain an “open” posture. Maintain a moderate amount of eye contact, neither staring or looking away. Let the speaker know you are listening through occasional nods or “mmm hmm” sounds.

7. Reflection Good listening is a very active process. The primary means by which we verify our understanding of what was said is reflection, or a brief paraphrasing of what we heard. This gives the speaker the opportunity to then correct any misperceptions, & to expand on their topic, secure in the knowledge that the listener understands what they are saying.

8. What if you don’t understand? Sometimes a speaker sends confusing, or incongruent messages. For instance, they may be expressing warm feelings, while their facial expression appears angry. The listener can help unscramble the message through something called metacommunication, or communicating about the communication.

9. Listening Actively The active listener: 1.Lets go of their own agenda, & listens to understand. 2.Attends physically, through their posture, expressions, & response. 3.Reflects back what they have heard periodically, to check their understanding. 4.Uses metacommunication to clarify incongruent communications.