1. A family Bible class For The Northside church of Christ

3. The Family & the Home Introduction 1 The Home at the beginning 2a The Home at the beginning 2b God’s Purpose In Marriage 3 Preparing for Marriage 4a Preparing for Marriage 4b Selecting a Mate for life 6 Why Marriages Fail 7 The role of the husband 8

4. The Family & the Home Lesson 9: The Role of the Wife

5. What matters most to you as a wife: to please God (2 Corinthians 5:9), or to please yourself and assume that God concurs?

6. Are you being your husband's helper (Gen. 2:18) — or his obstacle?

7. Have you cut the cord (Gen. 2:24)?

8. Are you on guard against your desire to dominate your husband (Gen. 3:16; cf. Prov. 19:3; 21:9, 19; 27:15)?

9. Are you remembering and keeping your wedding vows, which you took before God, and your husband, (Ecclesiastes 5:4, 5; Num. 30:2-5; Ps. 15:4b; 50:14; 76:11; Prov. 20:25; contrast Prov. 2:17)?

10. Are you consistently and openly appreciative of your husband (cf. Song 1:16; 5:10-16)?

11. Are you more genuinely encouraging and appreciative of your husband than a temptress might be (Prov. 2:16; 5:3; 7:5)?

12. Are you helping your husband (Gen. 2:18) to attempt more and greater God-honoring feats (cf. Prov. 31:23)?

13. Are you helping your husband resist temptation by showing him that he can count on being able to delight in your love (cf. Prov. 5:19; 1 Cor. 7:3b)?

14. Do you support, complement, and enhance your husband in his training of the children (Prov. 13:24; 1 Pet. 3:1, 2), or do you try to subvert and counter him (Prov. 10:1b; 29:15)?

15. If your husband grows spiritually, is it because of you (Prov. 31:26), or in spite of you (cf. Job 2:9, 10; Prov. 12:4b)?

16. Does your use of your tongue draw your husband closer to you under God (Song 4:16; 7:11), or do you repel him (Prov. 19:13b

17. How wise are you in accepting your husband's correction, whether mild or intense?

18. Do you handle disagreements in a respectful, God-honoring way?

19. Have you given your husband grounds so that his heart can trust in you, and that he can be confident that you will do him good and not evil all the days of your life (Prov. 31:11, 12)?

20. The Christian Family: The Role of Wife/Mother Proverbs 27:15 (NKJV) 15 A continual dripping on a very rainy day And a contentious woman are alike;

21. The Christian Family: The Role of Wife/Mother Proverbs 19:13 (NKJV) 13 A foolish son is the ruin of his father, And the contentions of a wife are a continual dripping.

22. The Christian Family: The Role of Wife/Mother Are we familiar with this? Probably. We all are. Are we ready and willing to fix it?

23. The Christian Family: The Role of Wife/Mother Proverbs 18:22 (NKJV) 22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD.

24. The Christian Family: The Role of Wife/Mother Proverbs 12:4 (NKJV) 4 An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.

25. The Christian Family: The Role of Wife/Mother Proverbs 19:14 (NKJV) 14 Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, But a prudent wife is from the LORD.

26. The Christian Family: The Role of Wife/Mother Proverbs 19:14 (NKJV) 14 Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, But a prudent wife is from the LORD.

27. The Role of Wife/Mother  As husbands should learn proper “headship” through sacrificial love, physical & spiritual provision and protection for his wife first (before fatherhood), so too wives must learn to be a biblical wife ( preferably ) before becoming “mothers.”  She must learn submission, Eph.5:22-24.  This is literally arranging oneself under the control of another. (Greek hupo + tasso )  Such underscores the importance of a proper choice of a husband who is worthy of her love, trust, honor, respect, and commitment, vv.25-31. Ephesians 5:22-24 (NKJV) 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:25-31 (NKJV) 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."

28. The Role of Wife/Mother  To be a wife and a mother is serious business. I have mentioned already that it is easy for many women to have a husband or children, and be 100% irresponsible with either the husband, or the children, or the home!  To be a real wife, mother, and homemaker is given by God!  This is when the feminist movement, and those fighting for women rights, will stone me to death!  She must also learn biblical love, Titus 2:4.  This is neither immature “gooey” infatuation nor lust- but is instead mature appreciation of his true character, and a lifetime commitment of dedication to him, Matt.19:3-6; Rom.7:2-3; Gen.2:18 > 1Cor.11:8-9.  Such again emphasizes the importance of the choice of a “right” husband. Titus 2:4 (NKJV) 4 that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, Matthew 19:3-6 (NKJV) 3 The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?" 4 And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' 5 and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? 6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." Romans 7:2-3 (NKJV) 2 For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. 3 So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man. Genesis 2:18 (NKJV) 18 And the LORD God said, " It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him." 1 Corinthians 11:8-11 (NKJV) 8 For man is not from woman, but woman from man. 9 Nor was man created for the woman, but woman for the man. 10 For this reason the woman ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels. 11 Nevertheless, neither is man independent of woman, nor woman independent of man, in the Lord.

29. The Role of Wife/Mother Once the wife has learned biblical submission to, and biblical love of her husband (and he of course has likewise learned his biblical role and responsibilities), she is ready to be a biblical “mother.”  Like with her husband, she must learn to love her children, Titus 2:4.  Such is not always “natural” – Rom.1:31 (Greek astorgo is “without natural affection”- stergo is to “cherish affectionately)  This learned love is the one that permits the wife/mother to still feel and act biblically toward a husband or children who are being or acting decidedly “unlovable”! 1Pet.3:1-2 Titus 2:4 (NKJV) 4 that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, unloving Romans 1:31 (NKJV) 31 undiscerning, untrustworthy, unloving, unforgiving, unmerciful; 1 Peter 3:1-2 (NKJV) 1 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.

30. The Role of Wife/Mother that of a teacher. Another role ( in addition to love and submission ) of the biblical wife is that of a teacher.  Although hers is not the primary responsibility, Eph.6:4; she still has an important part to play.  She may have to teach her husband, 1Cor.7:13-14,16; 1Pet.3:1-2.  And she certainly must take part in teaching her children, Titus 2:4ff!  However, she is not required to be the public instructor of the assembly- in fact, she is clearly prohibited from this role, 1Tim.2:11ff.  The man is given the public responsibility of teaching, and she is given a more private role, cf. 1Tim.2:8 > 11-12. Ephesians 6:4 (NKJV) 4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. 1 Corinthians 7:13-14,16 (NKJV) 13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. 16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?

31. The Role of Wife/Mother So, what is the biblical wife/mother to be/teach? Look closely at Titus 2:4-5:  Love of family, v.4- as already discussed; but also what she has learned and developed as she has matured as a wife & mother so that Prov.31:28-31 comes to pass.  Sensibility, v.5- Greek word is sophron and means to be “of sound mind, self-controlled.” Translated as “prudent” in 1Tim.3:2. It seems to suggest “having good sense” and capable of reasonableness. Titus 2:4-5 (NKJV) 4 that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, Proverbs 31:28-31 (NKJV) 28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her: 29 "Many daughters have done well, But you excel them all." 30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. 31 Give her of the fruit of her hands, And let her own works praise her in the gates. Titus 2:5 (NKJV) 5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed. 1 Timothy 3:2 (NKJV) 2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober- minded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach;

32. The Role of Wife/Mother So, what is the biblical wife/mother to be/teach? Look closely at Titus 2:4-5:  Purity, v.5. Greek word here is hagnos and means “clean, innocent, modest, perfect, chaste, pure.”  Obviously sexual purity is the primary application.  Mothers, are you teaching your daughters to dress, speak and socialize with purity? If not, such could lead to sexual impurity. Titus 2:5 (NKJV) 5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.

33. The Role of Wife/Mother So, what is the biblical wife/mother to be/teach? Look closely at Titus 2:4-5:  Workers at Home, v.5- Literally, oikourgos is the combination of oikos (home, household) and ergon (worker).  Understand that oikos refers not only to the house itself, but also the occupants, Prov.31:27.  She is not home-bound as Prov.31:16,24 make clear; but does have this primary responsibility. Titus 2:5 (NKJV) 5 to be discreet, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed. Titus 2:5 (NKJV) 5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed. Proverbs 31:27 (NKJV) 27 She watches over the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness. Proverbs 31:16,24 (NKJV) 16 She considers a field and buys it; From her profits she plants a vineyard. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies sashes for the merchants.

34. The Role of Wife/Mother So, what is the biblical wife/mother to be/teach? Look closely at Titus 2:4-5:  Kindness, v.5. This is typically, and unfortunately thought of as inherited rather than taught. Agathos is also rendered “good”- Matt.7:18; 1Pet.2:18.  Surely such is also part of 1Pet.3:4. Titus 2:5 (NKJV) 5 to be discreet, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed. Titus 2:5 (NKJV) 5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed. Matthew 7:18 (NKJV) 18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. 1 Peter 2:18 (NKJV) 18 Servants, be submissive to your masters with all fear, not only to the good and gentle, but also to the harsh. 1 Peter 3:4 (NKJV) 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.

35. The Role of Wife/Mother So, what is the biblical wife/mother to be/teach? Look closely at Titus 2:4-5:  Subjection, v.5- Obviously, this has been previously covered in this lesson.  Let’s add that it is the same word as in Rom.13:5, and the same concept as 1Cor.11:3.  Such does not require slavery, nor forbids independent thought. It does require one to humbly submit and arrange themselves under the control of another. 1Pet.3:1-6. Titus 2:5 (NKJV) 5 to be discreet, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed. Titus 2:5 (NKJV) 5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed. subject Romans 13:5 (NKJV) 5 Therefore you must be subject, not only because of wrath but also for conscience' sake. 1 Corinthians 11:3 (NKJV) 3 But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. 1 Peter 3:1-6 1 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. 3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward-- arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel-- 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.

36. What about it, wives and mothers?  Are these things being lived, demonstrated, and taught in your home?  Ladies, I know some of you are doing simply terrific jobs in your homes, being godly wives and mothers, and also grandmothers.  Trust me, it shows and is much appreciated.  And it will bear fruit to the Lord for generations to come!