1. Adolescent Issues Puberty, Hygiene and Sexuality Chantal Sicile-Kira Autism One Canada 2009

5. Overview of Presentation Growth and Development Hygiene and Health Grooming, Dressing and Looking Good Modesty, Privacy and Personal Safety Sexuality Resources for more information

6. Top 13 Things Parents Need to Know about raising an adolescent on the autism spectrum

7. 13. Teenage behavior cannot be blamed on mercury or the parents’ genetics. 12. Some teenagers care about smelling good. Or not. 11. Some teenagers like order and neatness. Or not. 10. Teenagers like to make their own choices. Usually they are not the same as yours. 9. Teenagers learn self esteem at home and school. Or not. 8.Teenagers do not develop good organizational skills or self-care skills through osmosis.

8. 7. Moodiness and raging hormones is a normal teenage thing. 6. Self-regulation is a needed life skill not practiced by teenagers. 5. Noncompliance is normal teenage behavior. 4. So is whining. 3. Masturbation is normal, teenage activity. 2. Learning about sex from known and trusted adults is not. 1. You will survive the teen years. Barely.

9. Growth and Development Risk of Seizures for 1 in 4 teens on the spectrum Meltdowns or aggression may increase in some, and decrease in others Physically mature at same rate as peers, however emotionally less mature Risk of depression

10. Why puberty is hard on ASD teens Most do not like change, yet body is changing and they cannot control it Most do not pick up information by osmosis from siblings or peers or through sitting in Health classes in school They do not understand why they are feeling different They hear about sex from others but may not understand

11. Boys age of onset at 11 or 12 What to expect What to explain about body changes Girls age of onset earlier What to expect What to explain about body changes

12. Hygiene and Health Hygiene needs to be addressed and good habits to be developed and emphasized Explain WHY important (social stories tailored to ability level) Analyze problem areas in self-care Task analysis Functional behavior analysis

13. Fix problem areas in self-care routines Desensitization of sensitive areas Hand over hand for motor memory Visual schedules Verbal schedules Use of different products

14. Grooming, Dressing, and Looking Good Teach the teenager : Importance of basic hygiene and cleanliness What matches and what doesn’t What’s in and what’s not (get a peer to help) First impressions are crucial

15. Teach Self Esteem For child to feel he is worthy of respect, he must feel self-esteem. What you hear is what you believe. Dr. Emoto and water experiment For a teen to understand he has rights (including the right to be safe and not be a victim, as well as the right to say ‘no’), he must feel he is worthwhile.

16. Modesty, Privacy, and Personal Safety Teaching notion of privacy starts with familiar adults and how they treat the teen Concept of privacy needs to be taught and reinforced in all environments Teach your teens to tell you if someone has seen them naked or causes them to be naked

17. Teach concept of modesty at home Teaching to say or communicate ‘NO” in appropriate situations Teaching to not touch own private areas in public Teach them it is never OK for an adult to do certain things to them Teach them to communicate if they have been abused or mistreated

18. Masturbation Natural activity that you may not necessarily teach, but contain if it occurs You will be able to control where and when, but you will not be able to stop it Home and school need to work together on this if it is occurring outside the home Teen must be allowed a ‘private place’ at home he can masturbate

19. May be necessary to teach male how to masturbate if he is not figuring it out on own and becoming very frustrated and aggressive due to this.

20. Relationship boundaries – different relationships, different boundaries : Appropriate types of conversation and behavior for each type of various relationship The notion of Circles: Private circle Hug circle Far away hug circle Handshake circle Wave circle Stranger circle

21. Sexuality Sexual feelings are natural Some individuals on the spectrum want intimacy and want to get married, others do not When they become adults, it will be up to them to choose Even if your teen is not interested in relationships or the idea of marriage and intimacy, it is important to teach them about sex because they are at a higher risk of getting abused.

22. Remember : HOW you say it and teach it, is just as important as WHAT you say and teach

23. What to teach : Sex education (the birds and the bees) About AIDs and other sexually transmitted diseases Appropriate behaviors from others Appropriate behaviors towards others Giving or withholding consent

24. Important for teen’s safety that he / she should be able to identify places on his/her body where it is appropriate to be touched by others they are not on an intimate relationship with Important that teen be able to tell someone when he/she is touched in an ‘off limits’ area of his /her body

25. Chantal’s Books (pub by Penguin) Autism Life Skills: From Communication and Safety to Self Esteem and More: 10 Essential Abilities Every Child Deserves and Needs to Learn Adolescents on the Autism Spectrum: A Parent’s Guide to the Cognitive, Social, Physical, and Transition Needs of Teenagers with Autism Spectrum Disorders Autism Spectrum Disorders: The Complete Guide to Understanding Autism, Asperger’s Syndrome, Pervasive Developmental Disorders and other ASDs (ASA 2005 Book of the Year)

26. Other Resources Taking Care of Myself: A Hygiene, Puberty and Personal Curriculum for Young People with Autism by Mary Wrobel The Circles Videos published by James Stanfield Publishing, devised by Marilyn P. Champagne and Leslie W. Walker-Hirsch. www.stanfield.com/sexed Asperger’s Syndrome and Sexuality: From Adolescence through Adulthood by Dr. Isabelle Henault

27. Continued Sexuality: Your Sons and Daughters with Intellectual Disabilities Autism - Asperger’s and Sexuality: Puberty and Beyond by Jerry and Mary Newport. Jerry Newport Handmade Love (men) and Finger Tips (women) books and videos at www.diverse-city.com

28. What's Going on Down There: Answers to Questions Boys Find Hard to Ask What's Going on Down There: Answers to Questions Boys Find Hard to Ask by Karen Gravelle It's So Amazing! A Book About Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families It's So Amazing! A Book About Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families by Robie H. Harris It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health by Robie H. Harris (Author),t's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health

29. What's Happening to My Body? Book for Boys : A Growing Up Guide for Parents and Sons What's Happening to My Body? Book for Boys : A Growing Up Guide for Parents and Sons by Lynda Madaras What's the Big Secret?: Talking about Sex with Girls and BoysWhat's the Big Secret?: Talking about Sex with Girls and Boys by Laurie Krasny Brown How to Talk to Your Child About Sex: It's Best to Start Early, but It's Never Too Late : A Step-By-Step Guide for Every AgeHow to Talk to Your Child About Sex: It's Best to Start Early, but It's Never Too Late : A Step-By-Step Guide for Every Age by Linda Eyre

30. Contact Info Autism Making a Difference, Inc. www.chantalsicile-kira.com

31. ‘The Real World of Autism’ Some Tuesdays 1:30-2:00 EST On Autism One Radio www.autismone.org/radio