2. CHURCH OF THE MIGHTY GERBIL Have you ever found yourself in a place of worship feeling lost, disconnected and underappreciated?

3. To whom should I listen? Do you find yourself driven insane by the inane preachings of pompous talking heads disguised in the garb of religious authority?

4. Where should I sit? Do you find yourself constantly wishing those hard-backed pews would magically transform themselves into easy chairs?

5. Who can help me now? You want it all: –Comfort in your religious space –Figures of spiritual authority who talk with you and not at you –A sense of shared community with like- minded individuals… Church of the Gerbil

6. The Church of the Gerbil Can Help You!

7. What we offer you… Low-impact religion in a multicultural environment –When you worship with the Gerbil you’ll never have to feel out of place! Limited interaction with figures of religious authority –You’ll never feel morally inferior or proselytized to again!

8. What we offer you… The ability to create and constantly redefine your own religious traditions and moral norms –Celebrate any and every holiday you want! Look and feel good both inside and out –Our self-affirming religious services make you proud to be you!

9. How can you become a part of Cog? Tired of being a cog in the wheel of organized religious tradition? Come to COG! Join us now at the Church of the Gerbil and see for yourself! Just call 1-888-GER-BILL to listen to our Automated Introduction to Gerbility You’ll be glad you called! I should call COG right away!

10. Come visit me on the web… www.corg.org If you are searching for a connection to the underworld, feel free to visit our sister community Church of the Hamster: www.greymatter.org/s atanichamsterdance/

11. Testimonials from the friends of cog… “Joining COG changed my life. It was something akin to taking a spiritual colonic!” –Richard Gere, Thespian