1. Chapter 9

2. Marital adjustment is the process couples use to modify their relationship as needed throughout their married life Maintain a high level of quality in the relationship Continuum represents changes in the feeling and attitudes that a couple might have about their relationship One end is a happy, satisfying and fulfilling the other end is unhappy, dissatisfying, unfulfilling and empty Must move back and forth somewhere in the middle of the continuum

3. Hostility – when a couple continually argues or quarrels without settling conflicts or agreeing on solutions May be physically abusive Unresolved hostility has negative effects

4. Concession – when one spouse gives into the other rather than working to reach a joint agreenment

5. Accommodation – when a spouse agrees to accept and live with his or her partner’s differences

6. Compromise tends to be the most satisfying way to resolve differences in a marriage Compromise is finding a solution which both agree This will bring the greatest satisfaction to a relationship Read 189-189 chart 9-1

7. 9:2

8. Interpersonal adjustments – when couples learn to adjust to each other’s differneces

9. Pair adjustment – when couples adjust their individual lifestyles to have a satisfying life together If a spouse sticks to a ME attitude, hostility can increase

10. No one is perfect It is normal for a few of your habits to irritate your spouse and so of their habits irritate you

11. Praise, sincere compliments and thoughtfulness Both verbal and nonverbal When the couples shows appreciation for each other quality of their relationship increase

12. Open and honest communication needs to take place often in a marriage Use the sandwich approach which is putting a negative comment between two positive comments

13. Easier to handle when they come up Identify possible solutions Discuss them Choose one

14. Each stage of the problem-solving process, you may need to negotiate You must listen to each other’s opinions and considering the views

15. Active Versus Passive Interaction Active interaction involves physical and verbal exchange between two people who are doing something together Passive interaction – involved only as an observer or listening such as watching television or reading books

16. The Need to Be Loved The primary emotional need met in marriage is the need to love and to be loved The Need for Respect and Self Actualization The need for respect and acceptance is met when your spouse makes your feel that you are important part of his or her life

17. Balance is maintained when both spouses work to contribute fully to the relationship

18. Marital roles carries certain responsibilities and expectations Spouse, friend, wage, earner, cook, caregiver or housekeeper Keeping a cooperative Attitude Periodic Evaluation

19. 9:3

20. Different views about money management can be a major source of conflict in a marriage After marriage both partners are responsible for the family finances A couple should jointly manage their money, this provides accountabity

21. After marriage, the couple needs to establish their pair identity and grow as an independent unit They will make decisions based on discussion between the two of them If they make a mistake they must learn from it and go on Family and friends can be supportive and offer encouragement but they also need independence for their relationship to grow

22. A couple’s marriage joins two families. The marital relationship improves when good relationships are maintained with family members

23. Listen to family suggestions and advice but needs to be firm in making their own decisions Supporting Parent in Their Adjustment This can be hard if they are accustomed to being heavily involved in their children's decisions.

24. A strong network of mutual friends can add to the quality of a marriage Share in hard times Good friends can strengthen a marital relatinship

25. Substitute Family – a group of nonrelatives who encourage or help you in a way that family members would if they were present

26. Marriage Enrichment Programs – programs sponsored by community service agencies or religious or educational groups to help couples strengthen their marriages Couples should chose a program designed for their particular need

27. Marriage Counseling – meeting with a professional to try to improve a couple’s relationship When looking for a marriage counselor Seek a qualified, licensed counselor Check the program’s purpose and cost as well as the counselor’s qualifications