1. Introduction to Pastoral Care October 15, 2012

2. Shadowlands

3. Human Suffering

4. Why?

5. Psalms 46: 1-3 & 8-11 Isaiah 43: 1-3 Mark 4:35--40

6. Stay Calm Help People Manage Their Fears & Anxiety

7. Regressive Society

8. Reactivity Herding Blaming Quick Fix Lack of Well-Differentiated Leadership

9. When the anxiety of a community goes up. We don’t listen well & we aren’t interested in the concerns of others. We focus on what we think are the problems other people have rather than focusing on our own issues. We try to change “them” rather than focusing on changing “us”.

10. When the anxiety of a community goes up. We aren’t open about what our real concerns are. We don’t think reasonably or objectively. We become less flexible. We get defensive and determine to win at all costs. We make monsters out of those with an opposing opinion.

11. When the anxiety of a community goes up. We don’t look for common ground and we refuse to work together toward a solution to the situation.

12. “When one member of a family can calmly state his own convictions and beliefs, and take action on his convictions without criticism of the beliefs of others & without becoming involved in emotional debate,

13. Then other family members will start the same process of becoming more sure of self and more accepting of others.” Murray Bowen

14. Goals 1.Achieve an inner calmness – become less anxious. 2.Quit reacting to everything & everyone. 3.Think through your own principles, beliefs and convictions. 4.State your own convictions & beliefs 1.Achieve an inner calmness – become less anxious. 2.Quit reacting to everything & everyone. 3.Think through your own principles, beliefs and convictions. 4.State your own convictions & beliefs

15. Goals 5. Take action on your beliefs & convictions. 6. Refuse to criticize the beliefs of others. 7. Refuse to get involved in emotional debate with others who object to your beliefs. 8. Stay connected and interested. 5. Take action on your beliefs & convictions. 6. Refuse to criticize the beliefs of others. 7. Refuse to get involved in emotional debate with others who object to your beliefs. 8. Stay connected and interested.

16. Hospitals Don’t stay too long. Don’t touch the bed. Do pray. Do listen. Do care.

17. Emergency Room Ask the nurse Be courageous Be considerate Be calm

18. Intensive Care Be considerate of the family regarding time limits or the number of people who can visit at one time. Talk to the nurse & follow hospital protocol. Be perceptive regarding the needs of the family.

19. The Dying Be a caring presence Reflect God

20. Six Stages of Grief Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance Christian Hope

21. Funerals