1. Arguing -- Is usually a battlefield for a bigger issue.
Conflict Management
Arguing --
Is usually a battlefield for a bigger issue.

2. What is conflict?
A battle, contest or opposing forces existing between primitive desires and moral, religious or ethical ideas ( Webster’s Dictionary)
A state of incompatibility of ideas between two or more parties or individuals
Conflict is “an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scare resources, and interference from others in achieving their goals” (Wilmot and Hocker, 1998)
Conflicts exist whenever incompatible activities occur
Conflict management is the practice of identifying and handling conflict in a sensible, fair and efficient manner

3. Functional and Dysfunctional Conflict
Functional conflict contributes to the achievement of the goals of the group or the organization. Functional conflict should be nurtured, if not encouraged.
Dysfunctional conflict impedes the organization from accomplishing its goals. Dysfunctional conflict should be reduced or removed.

4. Philosophies of Conflict Management
Traditional Philosophy: All conflicts are negative and potentially destructive for the organization. Conflict should be eliminated.
Behavioral Philosophy: Conflict is inevitable in organizations and should be accepted as a part of organizational life.

5. Philosophies of Conflict Management (cont.)
Interactionist Philosophy:
Conflict is essential to the survival of the organization.
Conflict should not only be accepted but encouraged in organizations.
Effective conflict management includes both stimulation and reduction of conflict.
Conflict management is a major responsibility of the manager.

6. Myths or Misconceptions About Conflict:
Harmony is normal and conflict is abnormal.
Conflict is the result of personality differences.
Conflict and disagreements are the same.

7. Causes of Conflict Personal Differences Informational Deficiency
Role Incompatibility
Environmental Stress
Scarcity
Uncertainty

8. Types of conflict Inter-personal and intra-personal
Inter-group and intra-group
Competitive and Disruptive

9. Types of Conflict Conflict of ideas
Dooley and Fryxell (1999) found that conflict of ideas at the early stage of decision making (idea formulation) was desirable.
That same conflict sometimes caused problems at a later stage when the ideas actually had to implemented.
Conflict of feelings (often called personality conflict)

10. Types of Conflict
Opposition and Support

11. Antecedent conditions
Conflict Process
Antecedent conditions
Perceived conflict
Felt Conflict
Manifest behavior
Conflict Resolution
Or Suppression
Resolution aftermath

13. Pondy’s Stages
Latent conflict: There is no actual conflict; however, the potential for conflict to arise is present because of the sources of conflict previously identified.
Perceived conflict: Each party searches for the origins of the conflict, defines why the conflict is emerging, analyzes the events that led to its occurrence, and constructs a scenario that accounts for the problems it is experiencing with other parties.
Felt conflict: The parties in conflict develop negative feelings about each other.
Manifest conflict: One party decides how to react to or deal with the party that it sees as the source of the conflict, and both parties try to hurt each other and thwart each other’s goals.
Conflict aftermath: Every conflict episode leaves a conflict aftermath that affects the way both parties perceive and respond to a future conflict episode.

14. Unresolved Conflict is a Vicious Circle
Relationship degenerates into a power struggle.
Playing games (If it weren’t for you…, Look how hard I’ve tried…,
Develops “ritual impasse”, stuck at the same point (refusing to talk after working so hard.
Destroys the problem-solving process
In the end, the relationship fails because neither persons needs are met.

15. Dealing with Conflict

16. Interpersonal Dynamics
Interpersonal dynamics – are the give and take behavior between people during human relations
Interpersonal dynamics grow increasingly complex as more people interact

17. Key Topics of Interpersonal Dynamics
Transactional Analysis
Assertiveness
Conflict Management

18. Transactional Analysis (TA)
Method for determining how people interact
When we interact, behavior can be:
passive
aggressive
assertive
Performance is greater with this behavior
TA is a method of understanding behavior in interpersonal dynamics

19. TA: Ego States
Major ego states that affect our behavior or the way we transact through communication:
Parent Ego State (P)
Critical parent
Sympathetic parent
Child Ego State (C)
Natural child
Adapted child
Adult Ego State (A)

20. TA: Types of Transactions
Within ego states there are three different types of transactions:
Complementary Transactions
Crossed Transactions
Ulterior Transactions

21. Complementary Transactions
Occur when the sender of the message gets the intended response from the receiver
Generally result in more effective communication
Supervisor
Employee P P A A C C

22. Crossed Transactions
Occur when the sender of a message does not get the expected response from the receiver
These result in surprise, disappointment, and hurt feelings for the sender of the message
Supervisor
Employee P P A A C C

23. Ulterior Transactions
Occur when the words seem to be coming from one ego state, but in reality the words or behaviors are coming from another
Sometimes when people don’t know what they want or how to ask for it in a direct way, they resort to ulterior transactions
Best to avoid ulterior transactions because they tend to waste time

24. Attitude toward Oneself Attitude toward Others
TA: Life Positions
I’m OK –
You’re not OK
You’re OK
I’m not OK –
Positive
Attitude toward Oneself
Negative
Negative
Positive
Attitude toward Others

25. TA: Stroking
Stroking – any behavior that implies recognition of another’s presence
Positive – make people feel good about themselves
Negative – can hurt people in some way
Giving praise (positive stroking) is a powerful motivation technique

26. Assertiveness
The process of expressing thoughts and feelings while asking for what one wants in an appropriate way
Present your message without falling into the traps of being:
“too pushy” (aggressive)
“not tough enough” (nonassertive-passive)
Is becoming more global

27. Behaviors when dealing with a diversity of people:
Passive
Behavior
Aggressive
Passive-Aggressive
Assertive

28. Passive, Assertive, and Aggressive Speakers:
Passive speakers:
Use self-limiting qualifying expressions without stating their position / needs
Assertive speakers:
State their position / needs without violating the rights of others
Aggressive speakers:
State their position / needs while violating the rights of others using “you-messages” and absolutes

29. What is my conflict style?

30. Conflict Style
Not only is it important to know what relationship or situation is causing conflict in our life, but it is also important to look at how we normally resolve conflict (our natural inclination).
We must then decide whether we are satisfied with our current approach or if we would like to change it in some way to improve our effectiveness at conflict resolution.

31. Style Explanation Avoiding Accommodating Compromising Competing
As you discovered through the conflict resolution assessment, our natural inclinations usually place us into one of these styles.
Avoiding
Accommodating
Compromising
Competing
Collaborating

32. Style Explanation Avoiding Style (-,-) Accommodating (-,+)
If I ignore the problem, it will go away
If I confront the problem, I may hurt someone’s feelings
Why bother… it won’t change anything
Accommodating (-,+)
It’s easier to just give in and give them what they want
You will be better liked if you just agree
By letting the other person win this time, you will win next time… you have to pick your battles.

33. Style Explanation Compromising Style (-,-) Competing Style (+,-)
It’s only fair because then neither of us get what we want.
Both parties are on an even playing field
We can choose to give up something we really don’t need, thereby winning.
Competing Style (+,-)
I’m right and you’re wrong
There is only one solution
Collaborating (+,+)
We can find a solution that works for both of us.
By asking the other person’s perspective, I can understand them.
Once we find a common ground, we can work from there.

34. Conflict Style
If you find yourself adopting a conflict style that you’re not happy about…
Analyze why you have adopted that style.
Develop some simple action steps that will help you break your habit.
Read on for helpful tips that will guide you through various conflict situations.

35. Summary of Conflict Management Styles
Forcing Conflict Style:
User attempts to resolve conflict by using aggressive behavior
Avoiding Conflict Style:
User attempts to passively ignore the conflict rather than resolve it
Accommodating Conflict Style:
User attempts to resolve conflict by passively giving in to the other party
Compromising Conflict Style:
User attempts to resolve the conflict through assertive give-and-take concessions
Collaborating Conflict Style:
User assertively attempts to jointly resolve the conflict with the best solution agreeable to all parties.
The problem-solving style

36. Conflict Management Styles

37. Roles in Conflict Resolution
Initiator
Responder
Mediator

38. Initiating Conflict Resolution
Step 1. Plan to maintain ownership of the problem using the XYZ model
Step 2. Implement your plan persistently
Step 3. Make an agreement for change

39. The XYZ Model
The XYZ model describes a problem in terms of behavior, consequences, and feelings:
“When you do X (behavior),
Y (consequences) happens,
and I have Z (feelings).”

40. Responding to Conflict Resolution
Step 1. Listen to and paraphrase the problem using the XYZ model
Step 2. Agree with some aspect of the complaint
Step 3. Ask for, and / or give, alternative solutions
Step 4. Make an agreement for change

41. Mediating Conflict Resolution
Step 1. Have each party state his or her complaint using the XYZ model
Step 2. Agree on the problem(s)
Step 3. Develop alternative solutions
Step 4. Make an agreement for change and follow up

42. Interpersonal Dynamics Styles
Exhibit 7.6

43. Your Personality and Interpersonal Dynamics
People with the same personality type tend to get along better and have less conflict than those with different personality types
If you have a high surgency personality –
watch your use of the critical parent ego state
be sure to give lots of positive strokes to help human relations
be careful not to use aggressive behavior to get what you want

44. Your Personality and Interpersonal Dynamics
If you have a high agreeableness personality,
you tend to get along well with others
be careful not to use the sympathetic parent ego state
watch the appropriate use of the child ego state
Adjustment – is about how well you deal with your emotions
especially anger

45. Your Personality and Interpersonal Dynamics
There is a relationship between adjustment and openness to experience
If you are not well adjusted, you are probably not open to experience
If you are a high conscientious personality, you can still transact from the parent or child ego state

46. Determining the level of conflict in my life

47. Determining the source of conflict
At times you may sense conflict at work, but
not know exactly why.
The conflict self-assessment will help you to pinpoint the specific area in which you are experiencing conflict so that you can begin to resolve it. The areas addressed are supervisor, self, peers, employees, and productivity.

48. Do you ever use…
Extreme or irrational tactic to gain your point (slamming doors, stomping around)?
Hurt remarks to have the last word (sarcasm, name calling)?
The Silent treatment
Withdraw to a safe distance because you do not like to argue?
Store up grudges and use later (revenge)?
My way or no way attitude?
Get angry, criticize, or some other aggressive behavior?
Give in; “I guess you are right”, submissive behavior to avoid conflict.
Deny or pretend that “everything is okay
If you answered “Yes” to any of the above you are not “fighting fair” and you are creating an interaction pattern of “I win, you lose”.

49. One-to-one Conflict

50. If you want to constructively resolve a conflict with another person…
FIRST, get into the right frame of mind for a positive discussion, always remembering to treat the other person with respect
SECOND, agree on the best time and place for both of you to discuss the conflict with each other.
THIRD, Set some ground rules.
FOURTH, have a discussion.

51. Adopt the right frame of mind
Step 1:
Adopt the right frame of mind

52. The Approach Go in with the right attitude
When you are ready to approach
the other person remember to:
Go in with the right attitude
Send positive non-verbal signals
Focus on the real issues
Pay attention to communication style

53. Your Attitude Leave Behind… Take With You…
Your desire to win, punish, or control
Your desire that everything be “fair”
Your assumption that it won’t work
Your tendency to think in “black and white”, “right or wrong”
Your determination to be right.
Take With You…
A willingness to work at this
An understanding that “perception is reality” both for you and those around you.
A willingness to learn from the situation
A willingness to see and acknowledge your own contribution to the problem.

54. Be aware of your nonverbal signals:
Others impression of you is based on:
7 % of the words used;
38% on voice quality; and
55% on nonverbal communication

55. Focus on underlying Issues
What happened?
Difference in expectations:
What did I expect to happen?; What actually happened? Who did what?
Intention inventory (Who meant what?)
Feelings
Don’t ignore or fail to acknowledge
Feelings make relationships enjoyable and difficult conversations difficult (can’t have one without the other!)
Identity
Must face ourselves as well as other person
Am I competent?; Am I a good person?; Am I worthy of love?

56. Communication Tips Avoid “you” statements
Focus on behavior, not employee
Focus on actions, not intent
Be descriptive and specific (bring data)
Practice active listening skills
Ask open and closed questions to clarify points

57. Step 2:
Consider time factors

58. Be Timely: talk to the other person while the issues are still current
Anger and negative feelings
tend to fester if not dealt with quickly!!

59. Consider the other person’s time needs
Don’t interrupt the other person’s schedule and state that you need to talk
Agree on a time to meet with the other person and inform him/her of the topic.
Give him/her time to prepare mentally.

60. Step 3:
Set some ground rules!

61. 3 “Golden” Rules Everyone tells it like they see it.
Get everything on the table.
Focus on the future.

62. Sample Rules for discussion
In addition to general rules, it is helpful to agree on how you will talk with each other
No interruptions
No yelling
Time limit on certain topics of discussion
Words to avoid
Agreement on what to do if you can’t agree ahead of time

63. Step 4:
The Actual Discussion

64. The Actual Conversation
Define the conflict.
Communicate understanding.
Explore alternative solutions.
Agree on most workable solution.
Evaluate after time.

65. Define the Conflict
Describe the problem in clear, concrete terms. Be specific (use “I” not “you”)
Focus on behaviors or problems, not people
Talk about the impact on you
Define the conflict as a problem to solve together, not a battle to be won

66. 2. Communicate Understanding
Listen to really understand the other person’s feelings, needs, Reflect back.
Explain how you see the problem after you have heard them.
Identify your contribution to the situation.
Describe feelings (not judgments or accusations)
Talk about identity issues.

67. 3. Explore alternative solutions
- Take turns offering alternative solutions. List them all.
Be nonjudgmental of other’s ideas.
Examine the consequence of each solution.
Think and talk positively.

68. 4. Agree on most workable solution
- Agree on a solution you both understand and can live with.
Be committed to resolving the conflict

69. 5. Evaluate after time Get together after some time and see
how the new arrangement is
working for both parties

70. Tips in difficult Situations
Pacing: one approximates the behavior of the other person to subconsciously build rapport.
“Mental Aikido”: mentally moving away from the focal point of the adversary’s attack. Make a non-linear response to the adversary’s words. “Sharks expect you to react.”
“Patterned interruption”: involves varying your usual response. “You have the capacity to interrupt the usual destructive pattern by doing something completely different or unexpected.”

71. Resolving Group Conflict

72. Meeting Conflict
If you sense a spoken or unspoken conflict in a meeting over an issue, address it.
“There seems to be some disagreement over this issue. Can we take a few minutes to clarify the issue.
Clarify the conflict.
“O.K. so there seems to be some disagreement over…….”
Decide if there is time to deal with it today or if another meeting needs to be set up to give it full attention.
“Since this seems to be quite an important issue and we don’t have much time today. Let’s agree to meet again to discuss it further. Can we meet on….”

73. If another meeting is necessary, assign responsibility for gathering more information on the subject to staff.
“Sue, can you please research information on…. And Diane can you please check on that State mandate.”
Insist employees let it go until the next meeting.
“We have a lot of other issues to discuss today so let’s free our minds of this issue until the set meeting and move on.”

74. Group Resolution Restate the issue to ensure clarity.
Have each group member, share information gathered and give his/her opinion.
Make sure everything is put on the table (no unresolved feelings popping up later)
Brainstorm alternatives
Agree on best solution using team decision-making steps (see reference list at end)
Develop action steps.
Agree on follow-up session.

75. Be aware of your own behavior
Allowing aggressive or inappropriate conduct without taking action can foster a hostile or intimidating work environment.
Decision-making without employee input or participation can lead to frustrated employees who don’t feel valued as anything but “worker bees.”
Your staff looks to you to assist in resolving conflicts. You are better equipped to resolve conflicts if both you and your staff have had conflict resolution training.

76. If you are inconsistent or unpredictable, your employees will be unsure of your expectations and become frustrated.
Engaging in relationships with your employees that are personal or too informal may lead to misunderstandings, as well as other employees feeling alienated.

77. Lookout for Signs of discontentment
A usually outgoing, communicative employee becomes withdrawn and quiet.
An employee frequently comes in late for work.
An employee is more argumentative and erratic than usual.
An employee suddenly takes no interest in maintaining his or her personal appearance or hygiene.
An employee makes comments about violent means of dealing with, or coping with, a particular situation.
An employee talks about “having nothing to lose” or not caring about anything anymore.

78. Game Theory Game theory puts people into the mixed-motive situation.
Covey (1990) in The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People refers to the scarcity mentality versus the abundance mentality.
The scarcity mentality leads us to resent the success of others.
The abundance mentality allows us to think of situations in which everybody can win.

79. Conflict Management
Blake and Mouton (1970) have proposed a scheme whereby we can try to avoid win-lose situations and, when possible, apply a win-win approach.
the hands-off approach, also called avoidance.
accommodation, is excessively person-oriented.

80. Unilateral negotiation strategies
They include:
The trusting collaboration strategy.
Both substance and relationship are important to the manager\
The open subordination strategy.
Substance is not important to the manager but relationship is
The firm competition strategy.
- Substance is important to the manager but not relationship
The active avoidance strategy.
- Neither substance outcome nor relationship is important to the manager.

81. Interactive negotiation strategies
Trusting collaboration
Principled negotiation
Firm competition
Soft competition
Open subordination
Focused subordination
Active avoidance
Passive avoidance
Responsive avoidance

82. Conflict Management
Fisher, Ury, and Patton (1991) outline four principles that compose principled negotiation.
Separate the people from the problem.
Focus on interests, not positions.
Invent options for mutual gain.
Seek objective criteria.

83. Blake and Mouton’s Conflict Grid

84. Toward Conflict Management—Practical Tips
Walker and Harris (1995) offer the following practical tips for implementing the 9,9 style. Encouraging behavior occurs when a team member:
1. Avoids feelings or perceptions that imply the other person is wrong or needs to change.
2. Communicates a desire to work together to explore a problem or seek a solution.
3. Exhibits behavior that is spontaneous and destruction-free.

85. Toward Conflict Management—Practical Tips
4. Identifies with another team member’s problems, shares feelings, and accepts the team member’s reaction.
5. Treats other team members with respect and trust.
6. Investigates issues rather than taking sides on them.
The same principles can be applied to negotiating with others outside your team, or with a supplier or customer.

86. Toward Conflict Management
Tubbs, Kryska, and Cooper (1997) propose that one frequent source of conflict is the leadership struggle between superior and subordinate in decision making.
The Continuum of Decision-Making Behavior has been described as including four styles of decision making:
Tells
Sells
Consults
Joins

87. To conclude conflict management technique looks for WIN-WIN situation for both the parties

88. Thank you