1. Are You Listening? ASMC—PDI 2010 John A. Kline, PhD Professor of Leadership Troy University www.klinespeak.com jkline@klinespeak.comjkline@klinespeak.com or jkline@troy.edujkline@troy.edu

2. Listening Exercise Listen as I read a story, then be ready to answer questions when I finish. This exercise is from a book I wrote on listening a few years ago.

3. How well did you listen? Distractions influence hearing and listening Tough to get details hearing it just once You may focus on the wrong things Nonverbal cues affect listening Location makes a difference Familiarity can be a factor

4. Fallacies about Listening Listening is not my problem Listening and hearing are the same Good readers are good listeners Smarter people are better listeners Listening improves with age Listening skills are difficult to learn

5. Bad Listening Habits Thinking about what we are going to say Interrupting—hinders listening; is rude Talking when we should be listening Listening for what we expect to hear Prejudice toward speaker or subject Preoccupation with other things Tendency to stereotype Our self-centeredness Not paying attention

6. Accident Exercise Five volunteers will participate in an exercise while the audience observes: What drops out What is distorted What is added

7. Effective Listening requires Receiving Attending Understanding (Assigning Meaning) Remembering Responding

8. Listening Inventory

9. Types of Listening INFORMATIVE – understand message RELATIONAL – understand speaker APPRECIATIVE – enjoy message, music, etc. DISCRIMINATIVE – distinguish sounds CRITICAL – evaluate message or person While each type requires some different skills, let’s look at 18 suggestions for how to be a better listener— 6 for what you Think; 6 for what you Feel; 6 for what you Do.

10. What you Think about Listening Understand Listening is Complex –Know the fallacies –Know the bad habits –Know the types of listening Prepare to Listen –Long-term: listen to tough stuff; build your vocabulary –Mid-term: do research; get background –Short-term: be in spring-loaded position Adjust to the Situation Focus on Ideas or Key Points Capitalize on the Speed Differential Look for Relationships to what You Already Know

11. Exercise: Value of seeing Relationships Listen (don’t write) as I read a list of ten words. Then when I have finished, write as many as you can remember.

12. What you Feel about Listening Want to Listen Delay Judgment Know Your Biases Don’t Tune Out Dry Subjects –Put yourself in the speaker’s place –Ask how you can use the information –Pretend you must repeat the information Accept Responsibility for Listening Encourage Others to Talk –Talk less; listen more –Give positive feedback –Emphasize, share, keep confidences

13. What you Do about Listening Establish Eye Contact with the Speaker Take Notes Effectively Be Physically Involved –Posture –Participation –Positive Attitude Avoid Negative Mannerisms –Fidgeting, texting, disrupting, dull look Exercise Your Listening Muscles Follow the Golden Rule –Treat others the way you want them to treat you; So?

14. So What? Make listening a priority Keep on working at it You can improve It’s worth it Listen!

15. Are You Listening? ASMC—PDI 2010 John A. Kline, PhD Professor of Leadership Troy University www.klinespeak.com jkline@klinespeak.comjkline@klinespeak.com or jkline@troy.edujkline@troy.edu