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2.  You see your boy/girl friend with someone else & they are acting very friendly to each other.  Your parents ground you the week of the big dance  You get caught not telling the truth  Your grade in math drops  Someone spills a Coke in your new car  You come in to work to find you have been laid off  Someone offers you a drug  Your best friend suddenly starts hanging out with someone else.

3.  Someone you admire takes on a behavior that you don’t think your parents agree with.  A project in a class you dislike is taking time away from an assignment from a class you really like.  Your core group of grades begins to engage in dangerous behaviors such as drug use.  A parent scolds you because you did something they don’t agree with.  You are angry with your best friend for not doing something you wanted to do.

4. Defense Mechanisms

5.  Negative Situation = reaction or behavior = masked feelings  Concerns  Behavior may be unacceptable/ unhealthy  Becomes consistent  Events are too painful to face  Personal & Peer awareness  Constructive Reactions

6. What you do:  Tell yourself it is not happening  Tell yourself it is not your fault  Conscious denial of the thought or feeling Example  “I am not mad…I really didn’t notice it was happening.” Problem  Denial only prolongs and exacerbates the issue

7. What you do:  Somewhat aware but tries to hide the thought or feeling  Keep painful thoughts and feelings away from consciousness. Examples:  Early abuse  Lies you have told  Painful memories Problems:  Diverts needed energy  Blocks out stressful situations that could be worked out

8. What you do:  In defense against the threatening impulse, express the opposite impulse. Examples:  Someone frightens you so you act super nice  You dislike someone so you act friendly Problems:  False persona

9. What you do:  Attribute your own undesirable impulses, feeling, or desires to another person Examples:  “ I hate her ” really means “ I think she hates me ” Problems:  Misperceive the other person ’ s motivations  Don ’ t deal with your own feelings  Overreaction

10. What you do:  Direct the feeling away from its actual target to another, safer target Example You are angry at a friend and yell at a younger sibling. Feeling:  anxiety  anger

11. What you do:  Make up excuses for inadequacies, failure, or loss Examples:  If I had wanted to try hard, I could have done it too.  She must be having a bad day.  If I had better teachers, I would have gotten higher grades. Problems:  Energy would be better spent on improving.  The truth catches up with you.

12. What you do:  Attempt to rid themselves of a feeling by DOING something that indicates the opposite feeling Examples:  Palee makes a rude comment, but draws a picture for you on your next meeting Problems:  Does not address or atone the behavior

13.  What you do  You think one thing but feel another.  Example  You know you should feel sad but you are not sad.  Someone has experienced loss and you express empathy but it is not sincere.  Problem  Can leave one feeling out of place with society or the group.

14. What you do:  Revert back to behavior of an earlier stage  Use childhood coping mechanisms Examples:  Temper tantrums, swearing, fighting, sulking, crying Problems:  Does not solve the problem  People think you are immature  You are not learning to cope well

15. What you do  Redirect feelings into a socially acceptable activity Example  Someone who has anger issues takes up an “aggressive” sport Problem  The resolution does not address the problem only redirects. It is only a matter of time before the problem manifests into a serious issue.

16. What you do  Puts off an unpleasant task until due date is close or has past. Example  Delay writing a paper for class until the night before it is due. Problem  Causes great stress

17. What you do:  Feelings of inadequacy in one area of life so they will work very hard to do well in another area. Examples:  Weak in school, excellent in sports.  Class clown Problems:  Unbalanced  Incompetent in some areas  Overcompensates for inadequate feelings

18. What you do:  Dreaming, imagining instead of living in the present world, because you don ’ t feel competent to achieve.  Pretending Examples:  Wanting to look good and pretending to themselves that they are someone they idolize.  Making up stories about how successful you are, rather than working on your success. Problems:  You get stuck in the fantasy rather than using your talents to become successful.