2. Developing Your EI http://eqi.org/summary.htm

3. Developing EI 1. Become emotionally literate Use three word sentences beginning with “I feel”Use three word sentences beginning with “I feel” Label Feelings NOT people or situationsLabel Feelings NOT people or situations “I feel impatient” – NOT “This is ridiculous”“I feel impatient” – NOT “This is ridiculous” “I feel hurt and bitter” – NOT “You are an insensitive jerk!”“I feel hurt and bitter” – NOT “You are an insensitive jerk!” “I feel afraid.” – NOT “You are driving like an idiot.”“I feel afraid.” – NOT “You are driving like an idiot.” 2. Distinguish between thoughts and feelings. Thought: “I feel like …”Thought: “I feel like …” Feeling: “I feel…”Feeling: “I feel…” 13A, 1D, 3D 3

4. Developing EI 3.Take more responsibility for your feelings. Avoid the “you” wordAvoid the “you” word “I feel jealous” NOT “You are making me jealous”“I feel jealous” NOT “You are making me jealous” 4.Use feelings to help make decisions How will I feel if I do this?How will I feel if I do this? How will I feel if I don’t do this?How will I feel if I don’t do this? What will make me feel better?What will make me feel better? 5A,11A,7D 3

5. Developing EI 5.Set feeling goals How do you want to feel?How do you want to feel? How do you want to make others feel?How do you want to make others feel? 6.Feel energized, not angry. Turn what others call “anger” into energy for a productive actionTurn what others call “anger” into energy for a productive action 10D,12D 2

6. Developing EI 7.Validate other people’s feelings Accept the individuality of othersAccept the individuality of others Do NOT ignore, judge, or rejectDo NOT ignore, judge, or reject Show empathyShow empathy Put yourself in the other person’s placePut yourself in the other person’s place 8.Use feelings to help show respect for others How will YOU feel if I do this?How will YOU feel if I do this? How will YOU feel if I don’t do this?How will YOU feel if I don’t do this? What will make YOU feel better?What will make YOU feel better? 4A, 6A, 2D, 4D 4

7. Developing EQ 9. Don't advise, command, control, criticize, judge or lecture to others. Listen and Show Empathy insteadListen and Show Empathy instead 10.Avoid people who invalidate you. spend less time with themspend less time with them try not to let them have psychological power over you.try not to let them have psychological power over you. 8A, 9D 2

8. Review 1.Which one of the following is NOT an example of being emotionally literate? I feel sad You are making me sad I feel unhappy I feel all alone in this B. C. D. A.

9. Review 2.Which word should you avoid in order to take more responsibility for your feelings? IFeelYouSad B. C. D. A.

10. Review 3.When setting goals for your feelings consider what you want To feel Others to feel For supper Both A and B B. C. D. A.

11. Review 4.Try to change anger into WordsFeelingsEnergy Both A and B B. C. D. A.

12. Review 5. Which is the best example of turning anger into productive energy. Your friend lies to you… Complete a math work sheet in record time Tell everyone about it Lie about your friend Let your friend know just how angry you are B. C. D. A.

13. Review 6.How can you validate another person’s feelings? Expect them to act like you and your friends Ignore people you don’t know or like Reject a suggestion or idea they express None of the above B. C. D. A.

14. Review 7.You can use feelings to show respect to someone by considering How will the person feel if I do this How will the person feel if I don’t do this What will make the person feel better All of the above B. C. D. A.

15. Review 8.Remembering how you felt in a given situation before taking action is an example of ExpectancyEmpathyExperiencingExcitement B. C. D. A.

16. Review 9.Criticizing, judging, lecturing, ignoring are all examples of ValidationVictimizationInvalidationEmotions B. C. D. A.

17. Review 10.If someone is invalidating you by criticizing, judging, lecturing, or ignoring you, you should Try harder to please them Spend less time with them Practice not being influenced by them Both B and C B. C. D. A.