2. mm. I have dibs on Albany. King doesn’t like Cornwall too much. I agree. Is that your son? I had nothing to do with the breeding part. I am ashamed to say yes, but he is mine. I don’t conceive you! Look Kent, his mom was a whore. She and I had an affair, we hit it off but she had a husband. See where this is going? I wouldn’t wish differently because the result was handsome. Do you know this man Edmund? No. Kent, this is Edmund. Edmund this is Kent. Nice to meet you. I hope to get to know you better. Same here.

3. I have already divided my land, but I think you guys should tell me how much you love me anyways...ok. Ok!

4. My oldest daughter, you go first. GONERIL I love you more than the world can handle matter. My love makes language poor and speech unable. I love you. Whisper.

5. My second daughter, you next. You better have something good. Goneril said everything I wanted to say but she came short. I find myself happy even if all I can do is love you. Regan

6. Now for my favorite, my youngest daughter. Tell daddy how much you love me. I love you. Is that all you have to say? There is nothing left for me to say but I love you.

7. Leave. I disown you! You should rethink what you did., Sir. How dare you insult my intelligence. Leave!!

8. Cordelia gets no land. Guess I’m outa here. A girl without land is useless. I still want her. Cordelia & France Fine France, she’s yours.

9. We must do something! You’re right! So…What are we going to do? But, The man is old. He doesn’t know what he is doing. We shall think upon this later on. Alright, but we MUST do something. Got it! We should stand together and not take any of his crap. Stand together. Hmm. I like it.

11. Oh nature! Why is it that I am treated so badly by my father? I hate edgar! I must have everything he owns! All his land! I shall be better! I will be better!

12. Why did you put up that note so quickly? It’s nothing. It’s a letter from my brother, Edgar. Give it to me! That’s not a good idea. Now Edmund. Give it here. If you say so, but I haven’t read it yet. I apologize if it’s harsh. *reads letter* Ohhh…ohhh.OHH H! Does my son Edgar have a hand to write this! I don’t believe it. It was not given to me. I found it lying in the closet. That monster! How dare he. He is a villian! I will speak with him. EVILLLLLLLLLLLL

13. What brings you here brother? Edgar. When was the last time you spoke to dad? Two hours ago. Did you guys leave on good terms? Yes. Well, you should go see him. And when you do, go armed.

15. Did my father do the Fool wrong? Yes Madam. That old man keeps screwing up! Look, if he gives you attitude, don’t take it from him. You hear!? He is coming madam, I hear him. Ok. Don’t forget what I said. I won’t.

17. I want some grub. Yes Sir! What are you? Ummm..a man! DUH! What do you want? I want to be loyal and to serve you. Ok. Who will you serve? You. Ok. You will serve me. Where is my food!!? Fool, go see about my food! Uhhh. Ok. You, where is my daughter? Right away, Sir.

18. Where is that fool with my daughter? Go get that fool. Ok. He says your daughter is sick. Why didn’t that fool come and tell me? No idea, Sir. Who am I? My lady’s father. Your lady’s father? I’m appalled. You ignorant bastard. You dog! I refused to be call these names. Are you rolling your eyes at me? *hits him* Touch me one more time! Oh no! You don’t talk to the king like that! Get out!

19. Here. Money. Take it. MmmYEA! Now we talkin’! Umm. You can have my hat. For what? You put him in his place. I shall tell him a story. Mark it, Nuncle. Have more than thou showed, Speak less than thou knowest, Lend less than thou owest, Ride more than goest, Learn more than thou thowest, Set less than thou throwest, Leave thy drink and thy whore, And keep in-a-door, And thou shalt have more, Than two tens to a score. This is nothing. Nothing can be made out of nothing.

20. Look old man, I know your vision is bad, but open your eyes! Your daughters are disobeying you!

21. Look, your knights gotta go. I am tired of them. Regan nor I plan on housing those useless knights. I regret giving you power! Damn you nature! How could you let me give this ungrateful children power!

23. Kent. Take this letter to Gloucester. I will not sleep until this letter is sent!