1. Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd. Ch. 4-1 Chapter 4 Revising and Proofreading Business Messages

2. Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd. Ch. 4-2 Revising and Proofreading l Revising: Improving content and sentence structure. May include adding, cutting, changing. l Proofreading:Correcting grammar, spelling, punctuation, format, and mechanics.

3. Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd. Ch. 4-3 Concise Wording Look for shorter ways to say what you mean. Instead of this: We are of the opinion that Please feel free to In addition to the above At this point in time Due to the fact that Try this: We think Please Also Now Because

4. Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd. Ch. 4-4 Long Lead-Ins Instead of this: This memo is to inform you that all employees meet today. I am writing this letter to say thanks to everyone who voted. Try this: All employees meet today. Thanks to everyone who voted.

5. Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd. Ch. 4-5 Try Your Skill Make the following sentence shorter and avoid a long lead-in. Ê This e-mail message is to inform you that in all probability we will finish in two weeks. We will probably finish in two weeks.

6. Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd. Ch. 4-6 Try Your Skill Make the following sentence shorter and avoid a long lead-in. Ë There are many companies who are certain that these products are absolutely safe. Many companies are certain that these products are absolutely safe.

7. Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd. Ch. 4-7 Redundant Words Avoid repeating ideas when unnecessary. In these examples, the word in italics is not needed. adequate enough advance warning big in size each and every exactly identical new beginning past history red in colour repeat again true facts

8. Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd. Ch. 4-8 Jargon Avoid technical terms and special terminology that readers may not understand.

9. Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd. Ch. 4-9 Slang Avoid slang (informal words with greatly changed meanings). totally awesome chill/chill out excellent relax

10. Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd. Ch. 4-10 Clichés Avoid clichés (overused expressions) by using clearer words. Last but not least, you should work together. The project was not a piece of cake. Finally, you should work together. The project was not easy.

11. Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd. Ch. 4-11 Try Your Skill Revise the following sentence to avoid slang, clichés, and redundant words. Ê Last but not least, the accountant repeated again the true facts. Finally, the accountant repeated the facts.

12. Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd. Ch. 4-12 Try Your Skill Revise the following sentence to avoid slang, clichés, and redundant words. Ë Because of the advance warning, we made a killing in the stock market. Because of the warning, we were successful in the stock market.

13. Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd. Ch. 4-13 Precise Verbs l Revise your writing to include precise verbs instead of general ones. Market researchers said that profits would improve. What more precise verbs could replace said? Market researchers forecasted improved profits. Market researchers promised improved profits. Market researchers predicted improved profits.

14. Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd. Ch. 4-14 Try Your Skill Revise the following sentence using more precise verbs. Ê The seller said she would contact you. The seller promised to e-mail [telephone or fax] you.

15. Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd. Ch. 4-15 Concrete Nouns Use specific, concrete nouns and not general, abstract nouns. The man asked for a raise. Jeff Jones asked for a 10 percent salary increase. An employee presented a proposal. Kelly Keeler, production manager, presented a plan to change working hours.

16. Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd. Ch. 4-16 Vivid Adjectives Use descriptive, dynamic adjectives. The report was good. The report was persuasive (or detailed, original, complete, comprehensive).

17. Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd. Ch. 4-17 What to Watch for in Proofreading Spelling Grammar Punctuation Names and numbers Format Consistency

18. Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd. Ch. 4-18 How to Proofread Routine Documents l Print a copy, preferably double-spaced, and set it aside. l Allow adequate time. l Be prepared to find errors. l Read once for meaning and once for grammar/mechanics. l Reduce your reading speed. l Use standard proofreading marks.

19. Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd. Ch. 4-19 End