2.  Relationship Issues  Intermarriage  Same-Sex Marriage  Infidelity  Spousal Violence  Divorce

3.  Honesty  Kindness  Respect  Compatibility  Humour  Dependability  Love  Values  Religious Commonality  Communication

4.  Feeling that marriage signifies commitment  Moral values  Belief that children should have married parents  It is the natural thing to do  Financial security  Religious beliefs  Pressure from family  Pressure from friends Source: Reginald Bibby, A Canadian Hopes & Dreams, published by the Vanier Institute of the Family, 2004

5.  Different values & beliefs  Abuse – physical & emotional  Alcohol & drugs  Infidelity  Career-related conflict Source: Reginald Bibby, A Canadian Hopes & Dreams, published by the Vanier Institute of the Family, 2004

6.  Why are couples breaking up?  “Do your own thing” individualism has eroded the sanctity of marriage  Married too young  Knowing you partner for only a short time before marriage  Women earning their money

7.  15 yrs after the divorce, couples are still not settle, not happy  More complicated, more depleting, more lonely than they expect  Decline in the standard of living  Many women are far behind their ex- husband in terms of education & job experience – most never catch up  Non-custodial father finds his role in his children’s lives somewhat diminished

8.  Divorced man has a larger pool of potential mates than the divorced women  Women are more likely to report psychological symptoms, far more men received repeated or long-term psychiatric hospitalization  More divorced men kill themselves than divorced women

9.  Children are more affected by ongoing fights, lower standard of living, a move to a new Neighborhood or mommy’s or daddy’s new “friend” that by the divorce per se  Preschoolers plagued by nightmares, teens 3x more likely to be in psychological counseling, 5x more likely to be suspended or expelled from school  As adults, many avoid intimacy because they fear abandonment, less likely to earn a good income and are more likely to get divorced themselves

10.  Two-tiered system that would make it harder for parents to get a divorce  Make divorce counseling or courses mandatory before you can get a divorce  Increase public awareness using the radio, TV to encourage divorcing parents to cooperate in the best interest of their children

11.  Offer more and better courses on how to have a good marriage  Intensive marriage education in high school  More people should have access to subsidized counseling through employee assistance plans

12.  Few countries do not permit divorce  There are no written laws on divorce among Natives prior to European arrival  Between 1867 & 1968, the only effective ground for divorce was adultery  Canadian laws derived from English common law where a double law existed  Because divorce was difficult to obtain:  Some sought it in Mexico or USA  Some fabricated adultery  Some simply separated

13.  Grounds included:  Addiction to drugs, alcohol  Desertion for not less than 5 years  Separation for not less than 3 years  Marital offence – adultery, physical, mental, cruelty Divorce rate in Canada lower than in UK, USA Median age for divorce has declined Average length of marriage for those seeking divorce is 10.7 years - 1985 Rates are highest in Alberta & BC and lowest in NFLD & PEI

14. Grounds included:  Mental or physical cruelty  Adultery  Living separate for 1 year

15.  More than 30% of marriages end in divorce  The older you are when you marry the more likely you are stay married  Average age of males & females at the time of divorce was 39, 37  Federal law – must reside in province 1 year before filing  Can file immediately if adultery or abuse involved  Spousal support is based on level of income, length of marriage and is payable if, as a consequence of the divorce, there is an economic difference between parties – could be 5 year of lifetime depending on many factors  Must equalize assets that each party is receiving half

16.  40% of children have a difficult time bouncing back – scarred, resentful  Gender & age of child are influencing factors  Children can’t take severe, prolonged conflict on a continuing basis  Children need to feel assurance that it’s not their fault  Boys are more prone to acting out, behavior problems  Girls typically turn inward with distrust, become overly dependent on male

17.  Divorce is good for parents and bad for children – have to mourn and rebuild  Custody & access regulated by Children’s Law Reform Act  Children from divorced homes were lower in self- esteem, school performance, confidence in their future  As adults many avoid intimacy because they fear abandonment  Report low levels of satisfaction with leisure activities, friendship and family life  More likely to get divorced themselves