1. Things to remember... I would like to thank you for your credit application. Thank you for your credit application. We at Statewide Savings and Loan would like to thank you for your patronage. Thank you for your patronage.

2. Things to remember... I would like to invite you to our grand opening extravaganza. You are invited to our grand opening extravaganza.

3. Things to remember... We at Midtown Building Supply would like to congratulate you on your selection as “Builder of the Year.” Congratulations on your selection as “Builder of the Year.”

4. Things to remember... If you would like more information, please do not hesitate to call. Please call if you need more information. If you would like more information, please feel free to call. Please call if you need more information.

5. Things to remember... The only punctuation that follows the salutation in a business letter is a colon. :

6. Things to remember... Sentences beginning “If” will need a comma somewhere.

7. Ch. 6, Slide 7 Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 5e Using Short Sentences Sentence Length 8 words 15 words 19 words 28 words Comprehension Rate 100% 90% 80% 50% Source: American Press Institute

8. Instead of... –We at Home Building and Supply Use –We

9. Instead of... –I am pleased to inform you that your loan has been approved. Use –Your loan has been approved.

10. Instead of... –Please do not hesitate to call. Use –Please call.

11. Instead of... –Please feel free to call. Use –Please call.

12. Instead of... –Our firm would like to wish you the best of luck with your upcoming projects. Use –Good luck with your upcoming projects.

13. Instead of... –I would like to take this opportunity to congratulate you. Use –Congratulations.

14. Instead of... –I would like to thank you. Use –Thank you.

15. Instead of... –This letter is to inform you that... (wasted words)

16. Instead of... –We are happy to inform you that... (wasted words)