2. Foster Families: Communication Emphases Kellie Reichert SPCH 1770- Family Communications

3. Introduction Foster families must hold emphases on certain aspects of communication in order to meet the special needs of in coming foster children as well as maintain their immediate family system. In the following slides we will explore important points and periods in the span of a child's stay in a foster home and cover which communication patterns are commonly practiced by those directly involved.

4. To foster or not to foster? All family members should be involved in the decision to become a foster family, including children. (Craft)

5. To be a good foster family you must have an open family type: movable use of space variable use of time flexible use of energy (Galvin, Bylund, & Brommel, p. 175) There are specific rules that must be set in place to prepare your children for foster siblings. Teach them: 1.about space, 2.not to ask questions right away, 3.the importance of role modeling good behavior, 4.about good touch and bad touch, 5.that you will listen to concerns, and 6.that you will keep things as fair as possible. (Craft)

6. The Arrival "When a foster child is first placed in your home a lot of fear and stress comes through the front door along with the foster child..." (Craft) Parent(s) commonly feel insecure and worrisome on the 1st day. So, must establish role as parent immediately when foster child arrives. -meet needs, -set boundaries, -discipline be honest- foster child may have many ?'s. If you don't know the answer, do not fabricate one risking the loss of the child's trust. Foster Child will be afraid, anxious, and confused on the first day may have suffered from abuse, neglect, abandonment, or death of parent(s) will most likely be in a state of shock

7. During Child's Stay Child Grief One of the main struggles of foster families is dealing with a grieving child. Depending on which stage in this cycle the child is experiencing, the family will face a corresponding issue.

8. During Child's Stay (continued) Marriage Fostering can be very hard on a marriage. The primary foster parent becomes enveloped in their foster children's lives and thus neglect their spouse. Relational maintenance in the marriage is crucial to keep it afloat when providing foster care. ~ ~ ~ "If by working to help a family we lose our own, we really don't accomplish much, do we?"

9. During Child's Stay (continued) Trust Perhaps the most important aspect of foster family communication ^ | after time, foster child will be able to break through barriers to develop trust in an adult. i.e. birth family, removal, and foster home experiences child will show change in behavior indicating a growing trust -- or depending on interactions with adult see next slide, may decide to give up Child's search for trust is driven by a need to belong.

10. During Child's Stay (continued) Caring Behaviors Feeling Wanted Creating Safety say i'll be safe say i'm protected love between foster parents no physical, verbal or sexual abuse consistent actions congruent words and actions care for me no matter what it's a feeling Doing Things food is readily available hold my hand read stories take for walks discipline advocate Take an interest ask questions inquire about my thoughts, feelings and opinions listen to me validate me talk to me give me guidance patience

12. The Goodbye It's time for the foster child to a) move to a new foster home, b) reunite with birth family, or c) move in with adoptive family. This may be a difficult transition for child and also foster parents. Change and instability can be traumatic for a foster child, and if the foster parent(s) did the job right, then a bond will have formed, and a sad goodbye will ensue. Separation anxiety may set in. keep communication open- talk about feelings about new placement be positive about impending change assure that this change does not mean and end to the relationship follow through be there.

13. Conclusion Foster Family Communication Emphases: open family type communicating- decision making, family meetings nurturing, providing a safe-feeling environment dealing with behavior probems dealing with child grief relational maintenance in marriage trust separation anxiety

14. Citations Craft, Carrie. All About Foster Care and Foster Parenting. Retrieved from. Galvin, Kathleen M., Carma L. Bylund, and Bernard J. Brommel. Family Communication: Cohesion and Change. 8th ed. Glenview: Pearson Education, 2012. Print. "The Kids." Foster Family Care Network. Foster Care Network, 2011. Web. 27 Oct. 2011.. Coleman, Michele H. "A Chance For Change: The Role of Trust in Foster Care."Scholar.lib.vt.edu. May 2000. Web. 2 Nov. 2011..