1. CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS FOR HR AND MANAGEMENT No parts of this presentation may be copied or reproduced. 2003-2005 Vital Smarts. All rights reserved

2. SESSION OBJECTIVES Receive the tools to prepare for high-stakes conversations, transform anger, turn hurt feelings into powerful dialogue, and learn to engage in constructive, crucial conversations.  Create a pool of shared meaning  Start with the heart  Master my stories  Diagnose the real problem  Influence using natural consequences

3. DID YOU KNOW… Most organizational failures, team disasters, and family breakups are the natural result of chronic problems people have either failed to confront or who have confronted poorly.

4. SMALL TABLE DISCUSSION What is the most difficult HR discussion you have entered into and what was the outcome?

5. WE HAVE A CHOICE… Silence – seeing a problem and not addressing it  We give our unspoken approval  We look like we are playing favorites  We continue to tell ugly stories (and the only get worse)  We create a culture of spotty accountability Violence – seeing a problem and trying to force our way to a solution  We become hypocritical  We turn the spotlight on our self  We become blind to our need to improve Engage in a constructive conversation

6. WHAT IS THE DRIVER FOR HAVING EFFECTIVE CONVERSATIONS?  Effective peer, upward and team member accountability  Difficult conversations are had early on to avoid legal issues  Expectations are clarified up front  Relationships are built or improved  Long-term growth for you and your company  Developing a sustainable culture; not an HR initiative  Leaders effectively manage (lead) the people and the business Remember: Difficult conversations come in all shapes and sizes, can be extraordinary to face and when we do engage in them, we are usually not at our best.

7. THE SKILLS

8. CREATE A POOL OF SHARED MEANING From Vital Smarts: “Each of us enters a conversation with our own opinions, feeling, theories, and experiences about the topic. These make up our personal pool of meaning. When two or more people enter a crucial conversation, we build a pool of shared meaning—the more we add of each person’s meaning, the more information is available to everyone involved and the better the decisions made.”

9. SOMETHING GETS IN THE WAY When we are staring at a complex problem, trying to decide what to fix, we have a tendency to address the:  Small over Big  Easy over Hard  Recent over Right  Groundhog Day

10. UNBUNDLE WITH CPR  Content  Pattern  Relationship

11. FEELINGS, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA FEELINGS  When someone lets us down, we react with an emotion  Our emotions affect our actions  Strong negative emotions lead to silence or violence

12. PATH TO ACTION See & Hear Tell a Story FeelAct

13. FUNDAMENTAL ATTRIBUTION ERROR When considering the “why” behind a particular action, people almost always assume poor motive. Rarely do people consider ability. Rarely do they consider external forces.

14. 6 SOURCE MODEL MotivationAbility PersonalFeel pleasure & congruence Have skills & knowledge Social (Others/Peers)What is the impact of/om others? Do others help or hinder StructuralCarrots & Sticks (what things reward or punish) What things enable or dis-enable?

15. DIALOGUE

16. DESCRIBE THE GAP The difference between what was expected and what was received. End with a question.

17. 6 SOURCE MODEL IS BACK MotivationAbility PersonalFeel pleasure & congruence Have skills & knowledge Social (Others/Peers)What is the impact of/om others? Do others help or hinder StructuralCarrots & Sticks (what things reward or punish) What things enable or dis-enable?

18. MOTIVATION ACTIVITY

19. POWER VERSUS NATURAL CONSEQUENCES  We want quick results or feel vulnerable.  We have it.  We can all use it (as a last resort) but do not start with it.  Our ability to influence comes in when we clarify natural consequences. Those natural things that will happen as a result of not meeting expectations.

20. CLOSURE Who does what by when and follow up.

21. ACTION LEARNING PRACTICE Pair with a partner and use the following scenario: “A senior leader in your organization is not managing the performance of his/her team. Several performance issues have been brought to you in HR. What would this accountability conversation with the senior leader sound like?

22. IT ALL STARTS WITH…

23. FOR MORE INFORMATION www.vitalsmarts.com  Crucial Conversations  Crucial Accountability  Influence  Change Anything Rebecca Baybayan, OE Manager, Micron Technology 703 396 1252