1. Chapter 9: Foundations of Interpersonal Communication
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2. Relationship Stages
Relationships are created and constructed by individuals
A single relationship actually contains multiple relationships
Relationships occur in stages developing toward intimacy and dissolution
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3. Relationship Stages (cont.)
Six stage model
Stage One: Contact – first impressions
Perceptual
Interactional
Stage Two: Involvement – sense of mutual connection develops
Experimenting and testing
Increase time together
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4. Relationship Stages (cont.)
Stage Three: Intimacy – commit to establishing a relationship; become a unit, an identifiable pair
Talk about relationship
Share social networks
Interpersonal commitment
Social bonding
Stage Four: Relationship deterioration – weakening of bonds
Intrapersonal dissatisfaction
Interpersonal deterioration
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5. Relationship Stages (cont.)
Stage Five: Repair
Intrapersonal repair
Interpersonal repair
Stage Six: Dissolution – breaking bonds; see selves as individuals rather than two halves of a pair
Interpersonal separation
Social or public separation
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6. Movement in the stages Exit arrows Vertical arrows
Self-reflexive arrows
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7. Relationship Stages (cont.)
Turning points
Significant events
Positive or negative
Vary culturally
Relationship license
Permission to break a rule
Reciprocal or non-reciprocal
Usually implied
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8. Relationship Theories
Attraction theory
Similarity
Similarity principle
Complementarity
Proximity
Reinforcement
Physical attractiveness and personality
Socioeconomic and educational status
Reciprocity of liking
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9. Relationship Theories (cont.)
Relationship rules theory
Friendship
Romantic
Family
What you can talk about
How you can talk about something
Who you can talk about it to
Workplace
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10. Relationship Theories (cont.)
Relationship dialectics theory – tensions between opposite motives or desires
Open (see other people) and closed (exclusivity)
Autonomy (independence) and connection (intimacy)
Novelty (new experiences) and predictability (stability)
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11. Relationship Theories (cont.)
Relationship dialectics theory (cont.)
Strategies to balance tensions
Accept imbalance
Exit relationship
Rebalance your life
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12. Relationship Theories (cont.)
Social penetration theory – what you talk about changes with level of intimacy
Breadth – range of topics
Depth – inner personality or core of person
Depenetration – decrease sharing as a relationship declines
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13. Relationship Theories (cont.)
Social exchange theory – maximize relational profits
Profit = cost – reward
Reward – something it costs you to obtain (money, status, love, information, goods, services)
Costs – things you would normally avoid
Profit – when you subtract the costs from the rewards
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14. Relationship Theories (cont.)
Social exchange theory (cont.)
Comparison level – your idea or expectations of what rewards you should get in a relationship
Comparison level for alternatives – level of rewards in current relationship compared to another relationship
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15. Relationship Theories (cont.)
Equity theory
Builds on social exchange theory
Equitable relationship – your rewards equal your partner’s
Underbenefitted
Overbenefitted
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16. Relationship Theories (cont.)
Politeness theory
Two people develop a relationship when each respects, contributes to, and acknowledges the positive and negative face needs of the other and deteriorates when they don’t
Politeness relaxes as intimacy increases
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17. Relationship Communication
Communicating in developing relationships
Be nice
Communicate
Be open
Give assurances
Share joint activities
Be positive
Focus on self-improvement
Be empathic
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18. Relationship Theories (cont.)
Communicating in deteriorating relationships
Communication patterns
Withdrawal
Decline in self-disclosure
Deception
Positive messages decrease and negative messages increase
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19. Relationship Theories (cont.)
Communicating in deteriorating relationships (cont.)
Strategies of disengagement
Positive tone to preserve relationship
Justification to explain breakup
Deception
De-escalation to reduce intensity
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20. Relationship Theories (cont.)
Communicating in deteriorating relationships (cont.)
Dealing with a breakup
Break loneliness-depression cycle
Take time out
Bolster self-esteem
Remove uncomfortable relationship symbols
Be mindful of your relationship patterns
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21. Relationship Theories (cont.)
Communicating in relationship repair
Interpersonal repair
R – Recognize the problem
E – Engage in productive conflict resolution
P – Pose possible solutions
A – Affirm each other
I – Integrate solutions into normal behavior
R – Risk
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22. Relationship Theories (cont.)
Communicating in relationship repair (cont.)
Intrapersonal repair
Remember punctuation
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