1. Chapter 16. Ideal Spouse and Child Section 3. Marriage and Family The Chinese Way, Ding and Xu, 2014 Chapter 16. Ideal Spouse and Child 1

2. Outline Introduction The ideal husband The ideal wife The ideal child Road ahead The Chinese Way, Ding and Xu, 2014 Chapter 16. Ideal Spouse and Child 2

3. Introduction People generally conform to societal expectations, and seek others’ acceptance and respect. – “It seems that one’s life path has been chosen and paved at the very beginning, in line with expectations from family, friends and society.” The Chinese Way, Ding and Xu, 2014 Chapter 16. Ideal Spouse and Child 3 These expectations explain how the Chinese seek out their ideal spouses and raise their children.

4. The ideal husband Interpretations of “Talented”: “A talented man and a beautiful woman can make an ideal couple” Three criteria: tall, rich, and handsome Some unexpected criteria: – expectations of young women (willingness to live with her parents, no certain diseases); – expectations of parents-in-law (house, job, good financial situation). Great expectations and consequent pressures push men to work hard for money The Chinese Way, Ding and Xu, 2014 Chapter 16. Ideal Spouse and Child 4

5. The ideal wife Three criteria: – fair-skinned (a specific preference for white skin); – rich (a man may save decades of efforts by marring a woman of power and wealth); – attractive (slightly less educated and younger). Modern expectations: multi-tasking, balancing family and work. The Chinese Way, Ding and Xu, 2014 Chapter 16. Ideal Spouse and Child 5

6. The ideal child High expectations for the only children: – Attain excellent academic achievement; – Land a decent job after graduation; – Create a happy family life. The key criterion used to judge one’s child: the performance of children from other families (caused by the face culture and the fierce competition). The Chinese Way, Ding and Xu, 2014 Chapter 16. Ideal Spouse and Child 6

7. The ideal child Why to push their children ? Massive investment in children’s education not to fall behind at the starting line – According to the latest statistics released by Mintel, 75% of middle-class families hope their children will obtain a master’s degree or above. Their own unfulfilled aspirations, – e.g., children from rural areas. The Chinese Way, Ding and Xu, 2014 Chapter 16. Ideal Spouse and Child 7

8. The ideal child Mothers are typically in charge of their children’s education. – A more recent trend is for a mother to accompany her child while studying abroad. Father are typically uninvolved E.g., the case of parted family ; purchase of Property overseas The Chinese Way, Ding and Xu, 2014 Chapter 16. Ideal Spouse and Child 8

9. Road ahead We do not expect spouse selection criteria to change substantially in the near future. However, many younger parents want to change the way they educate their children and modify their expectations for them. The Chinese Way, Ding and Xu, 2014 Chapter 16. Ideal Spouse and Child 9