1. Chapter 12 Relationships and Communication: Getting from Here to There

2. Social Exchange Theorists View stages of development as reflecting the unfolding of social exchanges. Involves rewards and costs of maintaining verses dissolving a relationship

3. Levinger’s ABC(DE) model A = attraction B = building C = continuation D = deterioration E = ending During each stage + builds, - deteriorates

4. A (attraction) Positive Factors: repeated meetings, positive emotions, personality qualities Negative Factors: physical distance, negative emotions, low need for affiliation Important things: first impressions, good moods National Survey of where met spouse: 35% thru mutual friends 32% introduced self

5. B (building) Positive Factors: matching physical attractiveness, attitudinal similarities, mutual positive evaluation Negative Factors: major differences in physical appearance, attitudinal dissimilarities, mutual negative evaluation

6. How do you approach someone/get someone’s attention that you are attracted to? What’s the first thing you want to know about someone you’ve just met?

7. C (continuation) Positive Factors: looking at ways to enhance, showing evidence of continuing positive evaluation, absence of jealousy, perceived equality, mutual overall satisfaction. Aspects of: Trust, caring, mutuality, commitment, jealousy, equality Jealousy: WHAT IS IT OFTEN CAUSED BY? Gender differences Males = sexual infidelity Females = emotional infidelity

8. D (deterioration) Positive Factors (prevent deterioration)– investment of time and effort, working at improving, being patient. Negative Factors (advance deterioration) – lack of investment of time and effort, deciding to end relationship, simply allowing to continue Active and Passive Responding

9. E (ending) When negative factors are greater than positive factors. When little satisfaction is found. Often problems with jealousy or commitment are most common reasons for ending.

10. Marriage The most common lifestyle, and people see marriage as a permanent arrangement. Most marriages: based on homogamy (like marrying like) 9 in 10 are of same religion Husbands are 2 to 3 years older than wife Remarriage or later life first marriage is less likely to be close in age

11. Marital Satisfaction What is important for a marriage to be satisfying and positive? Communication Focus time Sharing values Physical intimacy Emotional Closeness

12. Extramarital Affairs Reasons Sake of vanity Break from routine Ways of expressing hostility Retaliation About 9 out of 10 Americans say that affairs are “always wrong” or “almost always wrong”

13. Domestic Violence 1 in 8 women are subject to violence at the hands of their partner each year More likely to occur from current or past partner Usually follows triggering event. Phases of domestic violence: Lenore Walker presented the model of a "Cycle of Violence" which consists of three basic phases: Honeymoon Phase:Characterized by affection, apology, apparent end of violence. ;Tension Building Phase:Characterized by poor communication, tension, fear of causing outbursts, ;Acting-out Phase:Characterized by outbursts of violent, abusive incidents.

14. Divorce 1920 : 1 in 7 1960 : 1 in 4 Today : 1 in 2 What are some reasons for increase in divorce?

15. The Singles Scene There has been a significant increase in the number of singles. What are some factors for this increase? Negative aspects of being single Family sees as something wrong Viewed as sexually loose Others?

16. Cohabitation An intimate relationship in which individuals live as though they are married, but without legal sanction. Quadrupled in past 25 years 1980 – 1.6 million Today – 5 million Over ½ of marriage over past 10 years precede living together Reasons?

17. Styles of Cohabitation Part Time/ Limited Premarital Substitute marriage