1. Twelve Layer Editing Ms. Vette

2. You will need: 12 different colors Your rough draft A legend on your paper

3. Step 1: HEADING AND TITLE Color: Does your heading follow MLA format (left side of your paper)? *Your name *My name (Ms. Vette) *Course (Honors 9 English, Block 4) *Date (20 March 2014) Highlight the title. Is this interesting and relevant to your topic? This should NOT be titled “Definition Essay”

4. Step 2: HOOK AND THESIS STATEMENT Color: Circle the hook or attention-getter in the introductory paragraph. o Will this grab the reader’s attention? Is this general? Does this make sense? o Make sure this is not the dictionary definition of your word. Underline the thesis statement. Is this specific? Is this arguable? Does this answer ‘so what’?

5. Step 3: EXTENDED DEFINITION Color: Label the definition that is the focus of the essay. o Is it clear? Is this unique? Is this personal? Is this an extended definition?

6. Step 4: NO EXCUSES WORDS Color: Highlight all NO EXCUSES WORDS even if they are correct. This is for you to be mindful of using them correctly. their, there, they’re, too, two, to,its, it’s, cause vs. because, a lot, things and stuff, have vs. of, loose, lose, than, then, your, you’re, affect, effect and the every lazy and annoying, general use of the pronoun YOU!!

7. Step 5: APOSTROPHES Color: Circle ALL APOSTROPHES (possessive and contraction). -possessive example: That is John’s ball -contraction example: He isn’t going with us.

8. Step 6: COMMAS Color: Circle where you have utilized commas. Reflect on the effectiveness of these sentences. Be sure that you have avoided comma splices. Underline any coordinating conjunctions that you have used with commas. FANBOYS : For-And-Nor-But-Or-Yet-So. Example time- We picked them up early, but they still missed their plane. I hadn't seen my nieces and nephews for ages, so I went overboard on buying them Christmas gifts. Do you want to stay behind, or will you come with us?

9. Step 7: COLON/SEMICOLON USAGE Color: Underline at least ONE place where you have correctly used a semicolon or colon. If you have not used either of these, indicate one place where you will place one correctly.

10. Step 8: SENTENCE STARTERS Color: Look over the beginning words of all your sentences, circle similar beginnings and connect. Do the same for paragraphs Make sure that you aren’t repetitive in your writing. Did you include transitions?

12.  Transitions are the words and phrases used to move from one idea to the next. They help words to flow more smoothly and to show readers how ideas relate to one another.  Transitional words and phrases connect ideas within sentences and between sentences, within paragraphs and between paragraphs. They are essential to good writing. They serve as a bridge between ideas. What are Transitions?

13. Transition Words: Purposes  Transitions are used for a multitude of reasons:  They show relationship between the main ideas of your sentences within paragraphs, or your paragraphs within a body of writing.  They give the reader a “map” to help him/her move from idea to idea.  They smoothly shift the reader from idea to idea.  Think of a manual car. If you miss the clutch when you shift, what happens to your car? How does the passenger feel?

14. Step 9: TRANSITIONS Color: Identify three places in your investigative report where you have effectively used transitions for the following purposes:  To smoothly shift ideas  The use of signifier words to show relationships between ideas  To map where you want to take your audience If you did not use transitions, indicate three places where you will include these effectively

15. Step 10: EVIDENCE Color: Label evidence that is included to support the thesis. The definition essay should include quotes/details from the following four sources: Two outside sources Personal examples Label each type of evidence. Does each piece of evidence have an appropriate lead-in? Is it introduced effectively? Did you correctly cite each piece of evidence within your paper (either through parenthetical citations or introducing each source in sentence form)?

16. Step 11: ANALYSIS Color: What can one make of your evidence? Do you effectively and thoroughly explain how/why your evidence supports the definition. How/why is this evidence significant? What was uncovered or revealed based on your evidence?

17. Step 12: CONCLUSION Color: Identify this. What should your reader walk away knowing? Lingering thought?

18. Peer Edit Now that you have edited your own paper with the TWELVE layers, switch papers with a partner. Look over your partner’s paper with the rubric provided. Write down three things that he/she did well and three suggestions for him/her to improve the paper.