1. Listening: More Than Meets the Ear
Chapter Summary
Listening Defined
Elements in the Listening Process
The Challenge of Listening
Types of Listening Responses
Communicating about Relationships

2. Listening: More than Meets the Ear
Communication is more than “talking” and “waiting to talk”. It must involve “listening”.
There are many benefits to listening, but underlying most of them is the fact that;
when we listen, we get to learn something we may not have known.
we rarely learn anything by talking.

3. Improve Listening Skill
How good are your active listening skills?
If you take 12 apples from 21 apples, how many apples do you have?
12 apples… that’s how many you took.

4. Listening: More than Meets the Ear
FIGURE 7.1
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Listening is the most frequent form of communication.
Listening has been identified as one of the most necessary skills in the business world.

5. Listening Defined Hearing vs. Listening Hearing Listening
The process of sound ways striking the eardrum and causing vibrations
Listening
Occurs when the brain reconstructs these electrochemical impulses and then gives them meaning
You can hear without listening.

6. Listening Defined Hearing vs. Listening Mindless Listening
Occurs when we react to others messages automatically
Though the term mindless may sound negative, this type of low level processing allows our brains to focus on greater tasks.
Mindful Listening
Involves giving careful and thoughtful attention to the messages we receive
Sometimes we respond mindlessly to information that needs our mindful attention

7. Type of Listening Passive Listening Active Listening
Used when no feedback response is intended or needed, such as when listening to the radio or watching television.
Active Listening
Used to actively provide verbal and nonverbal feedback to the speaker about your understanding of what is being communicated.
Active listening skills are necessary to carry on a successful conversation.

8. The Listening Process The Listening Process
The Five Steps of the Listening Process are:
Hearing
Attending
Understanding
Responding
Remembering

9. The Listening Process Hearing
The physical process of the reverberation of sounds
Hearing is influenced by many factors:
Fatigue
Temporary hearing loss
More than 13 million people communicate with some sort of hearing impairment.

10. The Listening Process Attending
The psychological process of selecting what gets through
We would go crazy if we attempted to attend to every message.
Needs, wants, desires and interests determine what is attended to.
Research shows that we pay closer attention to those messages we’re interested in.

11. The Listening Process Understanding
Occurs when we make sense of a message
It is possible to hear and attend messages without understanding them at all.
Someone speaking a foreign language to you may have your complete attention without your comprehension.

12. The Listening Process Responding
Consists of giving the speaker observable feedback
Good listeners show they’re attentive through nonverbal gestures, such as eye contact and nodding.
Listening is not a passive activity.
We send messages at the same time we receive them.

13. The Listening Process Remembering The ability to recall information
Remember 50% of what we hear immediately after hearing it
Remember 35% within 8 hours
Remember 25% of the original message after two months
Residual Message
What we remember from the original message
There are ways to improve your retention.

14. The Challenge of Listening
Types of Ineffective Listening
Pseudolistening
An imitation of the listening process
Pseudolisteners give the appearance of being attentive.
Pseudolistening can often take more energy than real listening.
Stage-hogging
Turning the conversation to yourself
Also known as “one-uppers”
“You think your class is tough, let me tell you about mine.”

15. The Challenge of Listening
Types of Ineffective Listening
Selective Listening
Responding only to parts that are of interest to you
Selective listening can be legitimate:
Commercials
Insulated Listening
Avoiding information
When a topic arises that the insulated listener doesn’t want to hear, the listener simply avoids it all together.

16. The Challenge of Listening
Types of Ineffective Listening
Defensive Listening
Taking another’s remarks as personal attacks
Ambushing
The listener who pays close attention but only to collect information they’ll use against you in an attack later
Insensitive Listening
Responding to the superficial content and not the emotional

17. The Challenge of Listening
Why We Don’t Listen Better
Message Overload
The amount of speech encountered makes it nearly impossible to listen carefully to everything.
Preoccupation
Personal concerns tend to take precedence.
It’s difficult to listen when you’re worried about other things.
Rapid Thought
We’re capable of understanding 600 words per minute.
The average person speaks words per minute.

18. The Challenge of Listening
Why We Don’t Listen Better
Effort
Listening is hard work.
If you’re tired, listening can be problematic.
External Noise
Outside distractions can be difficult to ignore.
Even temperature can be a cause of poor listening.
Faulty Assumptions
We tend to believe we’re listening attentively when we’re not.
When a subject is familiar it is easy to tune out.

19. The Challenge of Listening
Why We Don’t Listen Better
Lack of Apparent Advantages
Though not true, it seems that there is more to gain by speaking rather than listening.
Hearing Problems
Physical problems can disrupt the listening process.
Media Influence
Influence of the media also plays a role in our listening habits.
Short segments included in television (CNN, MTV, Adult Swim) are cause for shorter attention spans.

20. The Challenge of Listening
Why We Don’t Listen Better
Lack of Training
Believing you’re a good listener does not mean you are.
Listening takes practice.

21. The Challenge of Listening
The Challenge of Listening Better
Talk Less
If you want to understand, avoid hogging the stage.
Get Rid of Distractions
External noise can be difficult to control.
Internal noise can be under your influence.
Don’t Judge Prematurely
Look for Key Ideas

22. Types of Listening Responses
Prompting
Involves using silences and brief statements of encouragement to draw
others out
Pablo: Julie’s dad is selling a complete computer system for only $600, but if I want it I have to buy it now. He’s got another interested buyer. It’s a great deal. But buying it would wipe out my savings. At the rate I spend money, it would take me a year to save up this much again.
Tim: Uh-huh. (Prompting)
Pablo: I wouldn’t be able to take that ski trip over winter break but I sure could save time with my schoolwork and do a better job, too.
Tim: That’s for sure. (Prompting)

23. Types of Listening Responses
Questioning
Sincere Questions
Are aimed at understanding others
Counterfeit Questions
Are aimed at sending a message, not receiving one
Examples:
Questions that trap the speaker
Tag Questions
Questions that make a statement
Questions that carry a hidden agenda
Questions based on unchecked assumptions

24. Types of Listening Responses
Paraphrasing
A summary of what you think the speaker is saying
Speaker: I’d like to go, but I can’t afford it.
Paraphrasing: So if we could find a way to pay for you, you’d be willing to come. Is that right?
Two Levels
Paraphrase Factual Information
Paraphrase Personal Information

25. Types of Listening Responses
Paraphrasing
Several factors to consider before paraphrasing
Is the issue complex enough?
Do you have the necessary time and concern?
Can you withhold judgment?
Is your paraphrasing in proportion to other responses?

26. Types of Listening Responses
Advising
Offering the speaker our opinion on solving the problem
Before advising be sure four conditions are present:
Be confident that the advice is accurate.
Ask yourself if the person seeking your advice will accept it.
Be confident that the receiver won’t blame you if it doesn’t work.
Deliver your advice supportively, in a face saving manner.

27. Types of Listening Responses
The Best Listening Responses
Gender
Choose a response style designed for the other person.
The Situation
People do not always need your advice. Sometimes just listen.
The Other Person
Remember who you’re talking with, and tailor your responses.
Your Personal Style
Consider yourself when responding.
Take into account your strengths and weaknesses.