1. 1 Recognizing and Understanding Feelings Nurturing Parenting Section 9.2 GOAL To Teach Parents Ways to Help Children Handle Their Feelings.

2. 2 OBJECTIVES To Help Parents Identify the Feelings of the Children. To Help Parents Encourage Children to Handle Their Own Feelings.

3. 3 For the next hour we will focus on the very significant area of helping children be able to Express Their Feelings. Children who can identify their own feelings and recognize feelings of others are better adjusted.

4. 4 Understanding the Feelings of a Child (Hold up Photo) a. How is the child feeling? b. How do you know he/she is feeling ______. c. What do you think happened? d. Do your child(ren) ever feel ______? e. Why? f. What do you do when your child feels ________ ?

5. 5 Brainstorm a list of feelings children commonly have to deal with.

6. 6 Discuss the feelings of loss, rejection, abuse that many children have to handle. Feeling of Loss is one that almost all children have to deal with! Loss as it relates to love, belonging, security, trust, and for many, the loss of their happy childhood.

7. 7 Let’s Play Charades Look at your word. Without words, you are to try guess the feeling the adult is trying to project. Parents are to make a noise that repressents that feeling: e.g., grunting for anger; giggling for happy; etc. Everyone takes a turn.

8. 8 Upset AfraidIrritated HappySad Angry RelaxedAnnoyed Lonely affectionate Anxious Jealous

9. 9 Let’s Talk About Feelings Do you let your feelings show or do they hide within you? Do you give your children permission to express their feelings? What feelings do children generally have difficulty handling? Why?

10. 10 How Parents Can Help Children With Their Feelings Feelings are okay and feelings can always be accepted, but not necessarily the behavior. Behavior must have limits. Label the feeling you see or think you see. “You look angry,” or “proud,” or “Happy.” This will give the child a feeling of being believed and respected.

11. 11 How Parents Can Help Children With Their Feelings (cont) Do not dominate the conversation. Let the child do the talking. Encourage sharing by looking interested in what they are saying. Children can think better when someone is not advising, or blaming, or criticizing. When the child wants something, honor the desire.

12. 12 How Parents Can Help Children With Their Feelings (cont) If you are in the store and your child wants a cassette tape or video tape, rather than saying “no,” tell them you wish you could give them anything they want. “If I had the money, I would buy you a dozen tapes.” Or, “If I could, I’d buy you every kind of designer jeans there is – a different pair for every day of the week.” This can have almost a magical effect on the situation because you have joined the child, not forbidden them.

13. 13 How Parents Can Help Children With Their Feelings (cont) When you show you care about the child’s feelings, the child feels that you understand and appreciate their desires. This can be very restorative for many children. Once children realize that their feelings are honored, they are more open to listening to logic why they cannot have what they want. Children want your respect!!!

14. 14 Role Playing Have parents form pairs. One parent be the “child,” and the other will be the “parent.” Ask the “child” to demonstrate a feeling without telling the “parent” beforehand what the feeling is. Ask the parent to use the three steps just discussed to process the “child’s” feelings. Afterwards, reverse roles.

15. 15 What Are the Three Steps Label the feeling Let the child describe the feeling or what he/she wants. Listen closing and repeat what you thought you heard from the child. When the child wants something, honor the desire.

16. 16 Share Your Experiences What were your impression of the role playing? How did the “child” feel when the “parent” honored the request?

17. 17 The Best solution for helping a child handle feelings is to talk to the child about what and how he/she feels.