2.  Student blaming tutor  Student not being reliable  Student guilting tutor to do things  Attitude problems  Problems you can’t adequately address

3.  Example: attributing bad grades to your lack of helpfulness or knowledge  We know: Tutors are not ultimately responsible for a student’s grades/performance, some students may not have the ability to do well enough (ZPD)  They need to know:___________________

4.  Example: not showing up on time, not having completed work  We know: The sessions will not be effective if student’s don’t uphold their end of the bargain, it’s not okay for a student to keep doing this to you  They need to know:____________________

5.  Example: asking you to do things they know you can’t do, making you feel sorry for them (or responsible for them)  We know: Student is ultimately responsible, you are only required to do what your job requires  They need to know:___________________

6.  Example: refusing to work with you, expressing negative views of you, thinks everyone is against them  We know: It’s unacceptable for students to be rude to you, attitudes may be result of high emotions, student will probably need to change attitude to be successful  They need to know:___________________

7.  Example: student needs to be referred, emotional problems, problems you just don’t have an answer for yet  We know: tutors are not required to be able to solve every problem  They need to know:____________________

8. We know what the students need to know- but how do we say it to them?

9.  Assertive: an honest expression of one’s feelings and needs  Aggressive: standing up for yourself in a way that hurts others

10.  Do you ask for help if you need it?  Can you express anger appropriately?  Do you volunteer your opinions even if they are different from others?  Are you able to say “no”?  Why do people want to avoid being assertive?

11.  Basic – simple statement of your feelings or beliefs  Empathic – recognition of other’s feelings as well as your own  Escalating – becoming increasingly more assertive if other person doesn’t respond  I-Language – taking focus away from blaming other person, and putting it on how you feel

12.  Change your thinking  Use good communication skills  Practice  Keep it natural (be sincere)