1. BIT students, Spring20061 Project Organised Learning (POL) – 4: Meetings & Difficulties and conflicts in a group Master of Science – 8 Semester (BIT-students) Lecturer: Lars Peter Jensen

2. BIT students, Spring20062 Meetings & Difficulties and conflicts in a group Agenda: 1.Meetings 2.Preventing conflicts 3.Reflexive writing and marking rounds 4.The ’Hot chair’ 5.’I’ – messages 6.Behavioural self-assessment test 7.How to spot a conflict 8.Personal conflict behaviour 9.Conflict solving 10.Consequences of conflicts

3. BIT students, Spring20063 Types of meetings Information Instruction Consultation/negotia tion Decision-making Problem-solving Exchange of ideas Talk Listen Talk Listen

4. BIT students, Spring20064 Moderation of meetings Prepare Ask Listen Summarize Conclude

5. BIT students, Spring20065 Suggested agenda for formal group-meeting (overview) Acceptance of agenda (incl. acceptance of aim, objectives, success-criteria, timeframe, roles) Acceptance of minutes from last meeting (incl. a summary of results/effects of decisions/actions made) Status (diagram of activities, adjusted plan, focus an special tasks, goals, etc.) Collaboration (internal and external) Other matters Next meeting (incl. provisional aim and objectives and roles) Evaluation of meeting (achievements, timeframe, process) Closure

6. BIT students, Spring20066 Suggested agenda for formal group-meeting (ad-hoc/task) Acceptance of agenda (incl. acceptance of aim, objectives, success-criteria, timeframe, roles) Situational description Analysis Concluding accepted agreement an aims, objectives, decisions, responsibilities, success- criteria, timeframe Closure It is essential that everyone is well prepared for the meeting.

7. BIT students, Spring20067 Suggested agenda for formal group-meeting (discussion) Acceptance of agenda (incl. acceptance of aim, objectives, success-criteria, timeframe, roles) Introduction (mini-lecture) on topic/subject Discussion Conclusion(s) Accepted agreement on aims, objectives, decisions, responsibilities, success-criteria, timeframe Closure

8. BIT students, Spring20068 Suggested agenda for formal meeting with supervisor Acceptance of agenda (incl. acceptance of aim, objectives, success-criteria, timeframe, roles ) Acceptance of minutes from last meeting (incl. a summary of results/effects of decisions/actions made ) Status ( diagram of activities, adjusted plan, focus on up- coming tasks, goals, etc.) Specific focus for this meeting Collaboration (internal and external) Other matters Next meeting (incl. provisional aim and objectives and roles) Evaluation of meeting (achievements, timeframe, process)

9. BIT students, Spring20069 Conflicts – WHAT? WHY? HOW? WHAT? Behaviour exhibited by one (or more) person(s) which bothers another (or other) person(s) and/or prevents them from doing something they would like to do. WHY? Disagreement, “bad chemistry”, fight about power, lack of respect, cultural insensitivity e.g.. HOW? It is easy to start a conflict – but it might be hard to solve it satisfactorily!.

10. BIT students, Spring200610 Preventing Conflicts ”Prevention is better than cure” - also when it concerns conflicts in a group!! ”Remember that the sooner a conflict is identified and handled, the less dramatic it is. Prevention of conflicts builds on mutual understanding and respect for diversity.

11. BIT students, Spring200611 Preventing Conflicts Conflicts are best prevented by: Knowing and understanding expectations, opinions and feelings - your own as well as those of others (dialogue, I-messages) Agreeing on rules, roles and relations in the group, (co-operation agreement) Evaluating your group co-operation regularly (’hot chair’, team health profile).

12. BIT students, Spring200612 Reflexive writing and ‘marking rounds’ Can be used before, during and after a decision-making process: Five minutes ’time-out’, where All speaking in the group is forbidden and Each student spontaneously writes down his or her thoughts about the form of the discussion and the issues discussed at the moment After 5 minutes take a ‘marking round’ where everyone explains their thoughts

13. BIT students, Spring200613 Reflexive writing and ‘marking rounds’..are good tools in team work because they: Give those who have ’dropped out’ of the discussion a possibility to come back in. Give everybody a possibility to put forward their views and opinions. Make the communication process open and visible because of the writing. GOOD ADVICE: Let the less speaking student start!!

14. BIT students, Spring200614 Evaluating personal relations: The ’Hot chair’ Every 2-3 weeks group members evaluate each other one at a time according to the following rules: The person in the ‘hot chair’ is not allowed to comment, she/he is supposed to listen to the constructive and loyal criticism of other group members All the others have to give positive and negative feedback e.g. Two things they like about the person’s behaviour within the group, and two things they don't like

15. BIT students, Spring200615 Evaluating personal relations: The ’Hot chair’ Feedback must: Describe behaviour – not interpret motives Express your own feelings directly – not indirectly Be specific – not general Only address issues which can be changed Make room for change Be non-judgmental Only be given when asked for/agreed upon – not uninvited Be motivated by a wish to help others – not to hurt

16. BIT students, Spring200616 A good advice to remember !! Be towards others as you wish them to be towards you!!

17. BIT students, Spring200617 ’I’-messages The ’I’-message is a clear, unambiguous and honest message about your thoughts and feelings You can share your thought and feelings with others but they cannot deny them or say that they are ’wrong’ Using ’I’-messages is the same as assertive communication!!

18. BIT students, Spring200618 How to use ’I’-messages to tell others about something you don’t like PhaseExample Start (state the factual behaviour) ”You didn’t tell me that the meeting was cancelled. Consequence (describe the consequence of this behaviour for you) So I have wasted my time coming here. Feeling (describe how you feel about this) This makes me angry and I feel that you disrespect me and my job. Alternative (point out another way to behave) If you had notified my secretary she could have notified me.”

19. BIT students, Spring200619 Break for 15 minutes Deadline is deadline !

20. BIT students, Spring200620 Behavioural self-assessment test

21. BIT students, Spring200621 Behavioural self-assessment test - 1 Mark the 36 statements in the questionnaire with 0, 1, 2, 3 or 4 points, according to how often you do this in your job X

22. BIT students, Spring200622 Behavioural self-assessment test - 2 After having filled in the questionnaire, transfer the points from each statement to the white field in the scoring sheet. Only enter your points in the white fields. Add the points in each column to get your behavioural profile.

23. BIT students, Spring200623 SUBMISSIVE BEHAVIOUR Persons behaving submissive are withdrawn in communication They renounce their rights, standpoints and opinions and submit to others’ opinions They often feel incapable and afraid They apologise for themselves and have a self-effacing behaviour

24. BIT students, Spring200624 SUBMISSIVE BEHAVIOUR VERBAL EXPRESSIONS: one could wish that … it looks as if this is probably not what you mean

25. BIT students, Spring200625 AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOUR Aggressive people stick to their own opinions They don’t discuss or argue but simply repeat their standpoint – sometimes louder and louder Aggressive people lack social competences and seem to seek the conflicts

26. BIT students, Spring200626 AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOUR VERBAL EXPRESSIONS : if I were you I would be careful Yeah, you’re really good at that, aren’t you! …. and I mean now ! I most certainly did not yes, you can say that again

27. BIT students, Spring200627 ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOUR Direct, honest and action-oriented Sticks to her/his standpoints – WITHOUT OFFENDING OTHERS Takes responsibility for own feelings and opinions in the situation Has inner strength and power

28. BIT students, Spring200628 ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOUR VERBAL EXPRESSIONS : I feel, I think, I mean we will, we can What is your opinion?

29. BIT students, Spring200629 The concept of assertion Assertive communication is to say what you mean and to mean what you say – without demeaning or hurting others Assertive behaviour is to be able to and dare express feelings, opinions and needs clearly, unambiguously and honestly – with respect for others Assertive behaviour is to be who you are and let others be who they are Assertive behaviour increases your self-confidence and gives you personal impact that improves the positive feelings in the situation

30. BIT students, Spring200630 How to spot a conflict Very loud discussion in stead of dialogue – nobody is trying to understand each other Very long arguing but no decisions Goes ‘for the man’ not ’for the ball’ Postulate in stead of reasoning Formation of cliques Talk about people behind their backs REMEMBER: Deal with conflicts, the sooner the better !!!

31. BIT students, Spring200631 Personal conflict behaviour Goal Relations Important Not importantImportant Smooth things outConfronting ForcingDrawing Compromising

32. BIT students, Spring200632 Personal conflict behaviour ProfileCharacteristic individual behaviour Avoidance ’drawing’ Avoid, deny, ignore, turn away. Adjusting ’smooth things out’ Forthcoming, abandon personal goals, relations to others is more important. Win/loose ‘forcing’ Dominating, aggressive, want to win, demonstrates power. Compromising ’do compromises’ All shall gain something – there is different ways to do things, compromises. Problem solving ’confronting’ Acceptance of conflicts. Everybody's needs are legitimate and important. Respect for personal relations. Make allowances

33. BIT students, Spring200633 One way to solve a conflict Those involved in the conflict state their point of view, one at a time. A mediator sums up the main issues in the conflict. The mediator and the persons involved try to uncover underlying reasons for the conflict. Everyone participates in the development of possible solutions. The group agrees upon trying one of the solutions and the mediator writes down the agreement. Everyone evaluates the process and states whether they are satisfied with the solution.

34. BIT students, Spring200634 Another way to solve a conflict  Those involved in the conflict tell How they have experienced the situation How they have contributed to creating the problem How they can contribute to a solution  Mediator and persons involved participate in the development of possible solutions.  The group agrees upon trying one of the solutions and the mediator writes down the agreement. Everyone evaluates the process and states whether they are satisfied with the solution.

35. BIT students, Spring200635 Conflict solving – think about PhaseAgenda ProblemWhat’s the reason for the conflict GoalA ’win/win’-solution Confrontation’I’ messages Active listening Understanding others’ ”mind map of the world” Solutions As many as possible to increase creative solutions Judgement and choice Consensus or compromise AgreementWho is going to do what ? EvaluatingWhat did WE learn ?

36. BIT students, Spring200636 Conflicts – negative or positive ? A conflict can be destructive, but it can also bring forward different sides of a case Enhance creativity and stimulate learning. Also, a satisfactorily solved conflict is likely to Create better co-operation, more trust and deeper friendships, and Improve the ability to handle conflicts in the future – both in the group and in a later job situation. It is not the conflict itself, but the lack of ability and will to solve it, that creates problems.

37. BIT students, Spring200637 Remember: Conflicts arises !!! It is your choice whether they shall lead to positive or negative results. It depends upon whether your mental frame is positive or negative ! What do you read here? OPPORTUNITYISNOWHERE

38. BIT students, Spring200638..and this was it for today!!