1. Grace: God’s Prescription for Disgrace Understanding and Ministering to Victims of Sexual Abuse 2 Samuel 13

2. Grace: God’s Prescription for Disgrace Understanding and Ministering to Victims of Sexual Abuse Presented by Robert W. Kellemen, Ph.D. RPM Ministries Comprehensive, Compassionate, Culturally-Informed Biblical Counseling

3. A Tale of Two Counselors  Pastoral Counselor: A Sermon on Sin  Professional Counselor: Too Damaged to Love  What is your assessment?  What do you base your assessment upon?

4. The Central Message of the Bible  God’s Mission Statement:  “I Am Indispensable”  Central Message of Biblical Counseling:  …we apply Christ’s grace to deal both with the evils we have suffered and the sins we have committed.

5. Comprehensive Biblical Counseling  Dealing with Suffering:  God is good even when life is bad.  Dealing with Sinning:  God is gracious even when I am evil.

6. Central Message of 2 Sam. 9-1 Kgs. 2  Man after God’s own heart...  Is a maze of suffering and a mess of sin.  Davidic narrative points to our need for God’s indispensable grace!  Grace is God’s medicine of choice for our suffering and sin.

7. Understanding the Damage Done  Why?  We need a theology of suffering.  We need a picture of Satan’s strategy.

8. Stage One  The damage of the loss of trust  The attempted Satanic destruction of faith  Exegetical Markers  Shrewdness of Satan  Conclusion of Victim: Disgrace/Desolate  Image: Door of Heart Bolted Shut

9. Stage Two  The damage of powerlessness  The attempted Satanic destruction of hope  13:2  13:11—hazaq  13:12  13:14  Image: Death of Dreams

10. Stage Three  The damage of being used and feeling useless  The attempted Satanic destruction of love  Used  13:14  13:15  Useless  Bolts Door  13:17  13:18-19  Image: Torn Robes

11. Stage Four  The damage of shame  The attempted Satanic destruction of peace/ shalom  Hebrew Shame  Self  Social  Modern Shame  Self  Social  Image: Downcast Eyes

12. Summary of Biblical Sufferology  Loss of faith: Doors closed  Loss of hope: Dreams killed  Loss of love: Robes torn  Loss of peace: Eyes downcast

13. Ministering to Victims of Sexual Abuse  Soul Care for Suffering:  Life is bad, but God is good  Sustaining: It’s normal to hurt  Healing: It’s possible to hope

14. Stage One  Sustaining Trust: Offering faith in the midst of doubt  How NOT to Sustain Trust  Don’t Victimize the Victim…  Don’t Communicate: “Be quiet!”  Don’t Communicate: “Don’t take this to heart!”

15. Stage One  How to Sustain Trust: Biblical, Christlike Empathy  Engage in Compassionate Listening  Give voice back  Listen to actions  Listen to tears

16. Stage One  Share Sorrows  Empathize with the external evil  Empathize with the internal damage  Counsel like the inspired narrator: Enter desolation  Trialogue  The Image: Comforter…

17. Stage Two  Healing Powerlessness: Offering hope in the goodness of God in the midst of the badness of life  Give their name back!  Journey with them  Explore God’s Good Purposes: Grace/Truth  Provide Tastes of God’s Goodness: Grace/Love  Trialogue  Image: Champion

18. Stage Three  Reconciling the Soul to the Savior: Offering Christ’s grace for our disgrace  Spiritual Direction for Sinning  Reconciling: It’s horrible to sin, but wonderful to be forgiven  Guiding: It’s supernatural to mature

19. Stage Three  How NOT to Reconcile  Not like the father  Not like the brother  How to Reconcile  Call the abuse sin  Work through forgiveness…  Seek justice, not vengeance

20. Stage Three  How to Reconcile  Explore and Expose...  Fallen agenda  Fallen pathways  Idol of the heart  Repentance  Putting Off

21. Stage Three  How to Reconcile  Prescribe grace  Defeat the lie of worldly shame  The Image: Care-fronter

22. Stage Four  Guiding the Soul to Godly Service: Offering beauty for ashes  Envision with spiritual eyes  Empower to put on King’s robes  In Christ: Saint  To Christ: Son/Daughter

23. Stage Four  Guiding the Soul to Godly Service: Offering beauty for ashes  Enlighten to Mature Wisdom  Image: Coach

24. Send Them Out with GRACE God’s Prescription for Disgrace

26. Grace: God’s Prescription for Disgrace Understanding and Ministering to Victims of Sexual Abuse 2 Samuel 13