1. I HATE AUSTRALIA AUSTRALIA SUCKS. THESE KIDS KNOW IT. I KNOW IT. DO YOU KNOW IT? ACTUALLY I AM ONE OF THESE KIDS. WANNA FIGHT? I’LL EAT YOUR FACE BITCH. Australian fact: Australia was used as a way of dumping off unwanted prisoners.

2. Looks like a nation of hippies to me. Goddamn hippies.

3. How much things suck (And believe me, all these things suck) Swimming in glass Drinking someone else’s vomit Drinking your own vomit Listening to Creed Having sex with a bear Having sex with grandmother Being near French people Costner MoviesAustraliaBoy BandsParachute Failure

4. The Case Against Kangaroos They are vile, disgusting, massive rats that are not fit even to clean festering wounds with their tongues. Kangaroos have never produced any fine art. Kangaroos have those nasty pouches that look like stomach rectums crapping out babies. I mean come on, what the hell is that? I’m gonna have nightmares. Ugly bastards. Australian Fact: If given the chance, kangaroos will eat through doors, metal scaffolding, and just about anything to get at your baby and molest it.

5. + = FUN

6. Things we should bomb not relating to Australia 1. Those responsible for Skittles commercials - Maybe I don’t want to taste the fucking rainbow. Did you ever think of that? Bastards. 2. Stupid people - They’re everywhere: one of the strongest arguments for all out nuclear war. 3. Vegetarians - OH MAN I HATE VEGETARIANS. 4.Diabetics - They are weak and diseased. We must destroy them before they reproduce. 5.Whales - I’ve never seen a whale with a sign saying “save American Man”. Screw the whales. Things not related to Australia fact: Australia sucks more.

7. Close your books and take out a pen and piece of paper. Cheating will result in being bombed. QUIZ

8. And now: Kittens and their thoughts. Care for a cup of tea old chap? Jolly good, jolly good. Bomb Australia.

9. Don’t make me kill the duck; write your local congressman with support for the war on Australia.

10. Make me proud. Fight the dirty Australians today.

11. GET THIS FUCKING PANCAKE OFF MY HEAD.

12. Dude, I need to sleep. Kitten attacks with laser eyes and follows with a flanking maneuver. Kangaroo counters by being an ugly freak of nature

13. Let me taste your brain. It won’t hurt. I’m a professional. STOP RESISTING.