1. Listening Effectively Module 1, Lesson 3 Communication for Life

2. What is Listening? u Listening is more than hearing. Listening means: u Paying attention to the sounds you hear u Assigning them meaning u Choosing a response

3. u Listening is NOT passive: u Requires focus, interpretation u Results in increased heart rate, respiration, and body temperature

4. u Listening in NOT natural. u Must be learned, just like reading & writing

5. Is Listening Important? u An essential part of our relationships with others, both at work and outside of work

6. Listening… u Builds connections u When we are listened to, we feel connected to others. u When we are not listened to, we feel devalued and neglected. X

7. u Builds High-Performance Teams u When we listen, we learn u Understanding another person helps them and you u Listening makes you able to let go of old resentments u Listening transforms an argument into a dialogue.

8. u Builds Effective Communication u 80% of people who lose their jobs do so because of an inability to communicate effectively. u Listening is the KEY PART of communication.

9. u Improves Relationships u Improves job performance u Makes happier marriages u Better one-on-one relationships

10. Why is listening hard to do? u Listening takes effort. u Effective listening requires some of the same physical changes as the body’s reaction to physical effort

11. u Listening lacks the “pay off” of talking. u Listeners have to give up center stage. u Listeners can’t show off their wit and knowledge.

12. u Daydream dangers u We can understand 300 wpm u Average speech rate 120 wpm u Difference is spare time to take mental side trips

13. u Message overload u We are bombarded with competing messages. u Constant stimulation – television, radio, music, ads, kids’, parents’, friends’ conversations…. u Our response…TUNE OUT!!

14. u Preparing a response. u Instead of listening, we prepare what we’re going to say when it is our turn.

15. u Needs and wants u Our needs determine whether or not we choose to listen. u Sometimes we’re too wrapped up in our own thoughts to pay attention to others’ messages.

16. u Filters u We use filters to decide what to pay attention to. u Filters attach personal meaning to information u We filter out messages based on whether or not we agree with them.

17. Examples of Filters u Knowledge u Attitudes u Values u Experiences u Assumptions Beliefs Prejudices Feelings Expectations “Hot buttons”

18. Examples of “Hot Buttons” u “You never/always…” u Know it alls u “Shut up” u Bigots u “What you should do is…” u Pushy people u People who interrupt u Whiners

19. 10 Tips for Controlling Hot Buttons u Take deep breaths. u Make a conscious choice about your response. u Acknowledge the other person’s feelings. u Ask objective questions for clarification.

20. 10 Tips for Controlling Hot Buttons u Try to see the other person’s point of view. u Stick to the subject. u Be patient. u Express your point of view. u Explain why u Work out a “win-win” plan.

21. 13 Listening Tricks for Success Concentrate on the message rather than the speaker.

22. Listen with a purpose.

23. Daydream selectively.

24. Take notes.

25. Ask questions. 1) Mentally first – wait to see if they’re answered 2) Aloud at the end

26. Sit in the right place for you.

27. Start listening immediately.

28. Identify key points; listen for cues.

29. Pay attention to everything: Tone of voice Body language Read meanings behind words

30. Think about the message. Paraphrase it in your feedback to check your understanding.

31. Be open to new ideas. Don’t jump to conclusions.

32. Know your own listening habits. Ask open-ended questions

33. Recognize common patterns of organization…

34. Common Patterns of Organizing Information u Chronological order - first, next, then, finally...

35. u Order of importance -order of priority, most important...

36. u Comparison and Contrast - similar, like; different, in contrast...

37. u Cause and effect - because, so that, therefore...

38. Why Listen??? 90% of success in communication in the workplace and in life in general is a direct result of GOOD LISTENING SKILLS!