2.  REMEMBER: Just because you talk to someone, it doesn’t mean they’re truly LISTENING to you!

3.  “I” Messages: Way of talking that explains HOW you feel while remaining firm, calm, and polite.  “You” Messages: Messages that blame the other person.  Examples: I am upset that the trash wasn’t taken out VS: YOU never take out the garbage!

4.  Passive  Aggressive  Assertive

5.  Passive: A Person does NOT offer opposition when challenged or pressured.  Problem? While the person may be nice, they may get taken advantage of. They don’t stick up for themselves; more likely to give into peer pressure to please others.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDG9PvsVxj o&feature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDG9PvsVxj o&feature=related

6.  Aggressive: To be hostile and unfriendly.  Problem? Comes across as a bully or a jerk. People MAY give in to an aggressive person’s demand, but not think much of you, or talk behind your back. Instead of diffusing a situation, they’re making it worse.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvKIfHTYC2 E&feature=related

7.  Assertive: Express oneself in a direct, respectful way. Uses direct “I” words without blaming others.  Problem? While not 100% perfect, assertive people get their point across without being rude. Quick, to the point, and respectful.  What could the flight attendant have said to the man on his cell phone?

8.  It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.  Manners count.

9.  It’s not only what you say, but HOW you say it!  Tone and Pitch: Conveys the ATTITUDE you are trying to convey.  The more ATTITUDE in your messages, the less likely they are to be heard.  How are you? How ARE you? How are YOU?

10.  Don’t forget to say PLEASE and THANK YOU on a regular basis  When?  Asking permission  Emailing a teacher  When receiving something from someone  When asking to borrow something  When someone holds the door open for you  Just because…

11.  Active Listening: Letting the speaker know you are listening.  Clarify anything confusing.

12.  Active Listening means:  Look at the speaker  Nod your head  Ask questions  Don’t respond sarcastically  What not to do:  Yawn/look bored  Roll your eyes  Act annoyed

13.  Take turns sharing  Take turns listening  Show empathy  Accept people for who they are  Encourage!  Have fun together  Play together  Be positive with each other

14.  Empathy: The ability to understand and share another person’s feelings, behaviors, and attitudes from THEIR perspective.  Example: Your friend is crying over a breakup. You couldn’t stand their boyfriend/girlfriend, but you empathize that it’s tough to go through a painful breakup.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw

15.  Think of a furry animal.  What did you think of?  What’s in our mind is not what’s in someone else’s mind.  While you’re writing, describe in DETAIL as if you’re illustrating with your words. SHOW, not tell! DESCRIBE with each sentence so your message is conveyed.

16.  Communication Interview  Interview must be in PARENTS handwriting for Part 1, and in YOUR handwriting, part 2  Please translate if parent writes in language other than English