1. Conflict Conflict is natural in marriage because of the challenges that individuals face in their lives together!

2. 3 Related Dilemmas Due to the changing roles of men and women in a diverse post-industrial society, couples generally experience conflict related to the following 3 dilemmas: 1. Individual vs. Collective interest 2. Women’s rights vs. male entitlement 3. “Mine” vs. “Yours” *These dilemmas exist because of the social change that allows individuals to choose traditional or flexible roles

3. What issues do couples experience conflict over? Balancing job and family Frequency of sexual relations (or infrequency (!) due to physical & mental exhaustion) MONEY! Careers Household tasks Children Extended family members Lack of communication

4. Power Although it might be the ideal in a relationship, few couples are truly egalitarian, or equal partners. The actual balance of power in a relationship does not matter as much as the couple’s shared perception that they negotiate the solutions together

5. Back to the theories… Symbolic Interactionism suggests that what is perceived as fair in a relationship, rather than an objective measure (who is actually doing more), affects the stability of a marriage.

6. Trends in Division of Labour Women are working more hours at paid employment and fewer hours at unpaid domestic work Men are working longer hours at both paid and unpaid domestic work The total hours spent on housework & childcare has declined i.e. DIVISION OF LABOUR HAS BECOME MORE EQUAL

7. Managing Conflict in Relationships Express opinions, positions, and wants openly and honestly Remain focused on the problem at hand Try to understand the other’s perspective Recognize your own influence on the interaction and the other person’s response Respond with a positive, not negative, attitude Be willing to compromise and negotiate a solution that satisfies both partners

8. Gender Differences Read pages 235-236 for insight on how each sex communicates

9. Whyte Study Martin King Whyte conducted long-term study of dating & marriage Found that dating experience was not a predictor of marital success Enduring married couples had several characteristics in common….

10. Marriages Made to Last Having similar values Enjoying similar leisure-time activities Pooling incomes Sharing in power and decision making in relationship Having friends in common Having an active social life together *This suggest that Social Homogamy is factor in selection of marriage partner

11. Marriage Tips Knowing who you are, where you came from, and where you are going prepares you to know your partner well! Forming an identity enables individuals to be honest to themselves and their partner