1. COMMUNICATION IN EVERYDAY LIFE THREE MODES OF TALK! Lecture 14b

2. TYPES OF TALK CONNECT (SMALL) TALKCONNECT (SMALL) TALK C.O.N.T.R.O.L. TALKC.O.N.T.R.O.L. TALK LIGHT OR HEAVY LIGHT OR HEAVY D.I.A.L.O.G.U.E. TALKD.I.A.L.O.G.U.E. TALK

3. THREE TYPES OF TALK AND PROBLEM- SOLVING IN RELATIONSHIPS CONNECT TALK (SMALL TALK) C.O.N.T.R.O.L. TALK BEING RIGHT ASSUME/JUDGE LIGHT - HEAVY D.I.A.LO.G.U.E. TALK SOLVE PROBLEM LEARN/ ACCEPT PROBLEM PROBLEM CHOICE - MINDFULNESS - FLEXIBILITY - META-TALK

4. CONNECT TALK RITUAL CONNECTION TALKRITUAL CONNECTION TALK SMALL TALKSMALL TALK

5. SMALL TALK AND COMPETENCE ITS HOW WE DEMONSTRATE COMMUNICATION COMPETENCEITS HOW WE DEMONSTRATE COMMUNICATION COMPETENCE KNOWING RULES OF COMMUNICATION INTERACTIONKNOWING RULES OF COMMUNICATION INTERACTION COMMUNICATION RULES ARE SHARED UNDERSTANDINGS OF WHAT COMMUNICATION MEANS AND WHAT BEHAVIORS ARE APPROPRIATE IN VARIOUS SITUATIONS. (CONTEXTS)COMMUNICATION RULES ARE SHARED UNDERSTANDINGS OF WHAT COMMUNICATION MEANS AND WHAT BEHAVIORS ARE APPROPRIATE IN VARIOUS SITUATIONS. (CONTEXTS) FORMS OF ADDRESS, EFFECTS OF STATUSFORMS OF ADDRESS, EFFECTS OF STATUS ADJUST FOR CONTEXT ADJUST FOR CONTEXT NON-VERBAL RULES OF INTERACTION NON-VERBAL RULES OF INTERACTION -WHEN TO START, STOP, INTERRUPT, ETC.

6. THE ENVIRONMENT IN WHICH THE COMMUNICATION OCCURSTHE ENVIRONMENT IN WHICH THE COMMUNICATION OCCURS INFLUENCES THE CONTENT AND FORM OF COMMUNICATIONINFLUENCES THE CONTENT AND FORM OF COMMUNICATION THE CONTEXT

7. CONTEXT AND RULES CLOSER IN SPACE - MORE PERSONAL MESSAGESCLOSER IN SPACE - MORE PERSONAL MESSAGES MORE INTIMATE - MORE AFFECTIONMORE INTIMATE - MORE AFFECTION HI STATUS RECEIVER - HUMBLE SENDERHI STATUS RECEIVER - HUMBLE SENDER LISTENER HIGHLY EGO INVOLVED- RESPECTFUL OR COMPLIMENTARY MESSAGESLISTENER HIGHLY EGO INVOLVED- RESPECTFUL OR COMPLIMENTARY MESSAGES LISTENER ATTITUDE CENTRAL - SERIOUSLISTENER ATTITUDE CENTRAL - SERIOUS SPEAKER ROLE CLEAR - ROLE-CONSISTENTSPEAKER ROLE CLEAR - ROLE-CONSISTENT

8. RULE-BREAKING COMPETENCE IN RULE-BREAKINGCOMPETENCE IN RULE-BREAKING 1. APOLOGIES 2. DISCLAIMERS HEDGING - I’M NO EXPERT BUT…HEDGING - I’M NO EXPERT BUT… CREDENTIALING - I’M NOT PREJUDICED, SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS ARE….CREDENTIALING - I’M NOT PREJUDICED, SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS ARE…. COGNITIVE - “I KNOW THIS SOUNDS CRAZY, BUT…COGNITIVE - “I KNOW THIS SOUNDS CRAZY, BUT… APPEAL FOR SUSPENDED JUDGMENT - “HEAR ME OUT BEFORE YOU EXPLODE...APPEAL FOR SUSPENDED JUDGMENT - “HEAR ME OUT BEFORE YOU EXPLODE...

9. SMALL TALK AS VITAL VITAL TO DEVELOPING RELATIONSHIPSVITAL TO DEVELOPING RELATIONSHIPS ASSOCIATED WITH TRUSTASSOCIATED WITH TRUST DEMANDED IN SOME CONTEXTSDEMANDED IN SOME CONTEXTS

10. TYPES OF SMALL TALK RITUAL TALK - GREETING/LEAVINGRITUAL TALK - GREETING/LEAVING PROCEDURAL TALK - MAKE PURCHASE/DO JOBPROCEDURAL TALK - MAKE PURCHASE/DO JOB PASTIME TALK - SOCIAL OCCASIONSPASTIME TALK - SOCIAL OCCASIONS GENDER TALKGENDER TALK “EVER BEEN TO…”“EVER BEEN TO…” “AIN’T IT AWFUL”“AIN’T IT AWFUL” HOW TO….HOW TO…. DO YOU KNOW...DO YOU KNOW...