1. SEASON’S GRIEVINGS Healing Your Broken Heart When Someone You Love Has Died

2.  The constellation of internal thoughts and feelings we have when someone we love dies.  When you take the grief you have on the inside and express it outside of yourself. DEFINITIONS Grief Mourning

3. MODELS OF BEREAVEMENT

4. WHAT MAKES GRIEF UNIQUE?  The Relationship with the Person who Died  The Nature of the Death  The Ritual or Funeral Experience  The People in Our Lives  Our Unique Personality  Unique Personality of the One Who Died

5. WHAT MAKES GRIEF UNIQUE? ?  Gender  Cultural Background  Religious or Spiritual Background  Other Crisis or Stresses  Experiences with Loss and Death in the Past  Physical Health

6.  Accept the reality of the death  Let yourself feel the pain of the loss  Remember the person who died NEEDS OF MOURNING  Develop a new self identity  Search for meaning  Let others help you—now and always

7. CLOSURE  Defined as “A conclusion or an end”  Unrealistic as a goal

8.  Accept the reality and permanence of the death  Experience the emotions of the death, sad, mad, guilt,  Recognize and resolve ambivalent feelings  Adjust to everyday life change GRIEF FOCUSED GOALS  Redefine the relationship with the deceased as one of memory  Develop new relationships  Make meaning of the loss  Foster problem solving and conflict resolution

9. Normal Grief  Respond to comfort and support  Often openly angry  Related the feelings to the loss  Can experience moments of enjoyment in life SADNESS AND DEPRESSION Clinical Depression  Do not accept support  Irritable and Complain but not directly express anger  Feelings not related to particular life event  All pervading sense of doom

10. Normal Grief  Exhibit feelings of sadness and emptiness  May have transient physical complaints  Express guilt over some specific aspect of the loss  Feel a temporary loss of self esteem SADNESS AND DEPRESSION Clinical Depression  Project a sense of hopelessness and chronic emptiness  Have chronic physical complaints  Have generalized feelings of guilt  Feel a deep and ongoing loss of self esteem

11.  What NOT to say: God just needed another angel Thank goodness you have other children He/She was just on loan to you from God God doesn’t give you more than you can handle We may not understand it, but this was God’s will. SANDY HOOK ELEMENTARY SCHOOL  What TO say: I don’t believe God wanted this It’s okay to be angry, and I’m a safe person for you to express anger It’s not okay I don’t know why this happened I can’t imagine what you are going through, but I am here to support you

12.  Flower Pot  Quilt  Stocking  Memory Peacocks  Memory Garden Card Game GRIEF ACTIVITIES  Pillow Case  Memory Stones  Grief Story  Poetry  Rap Songs

13. CLOSING THOUGHT We Remember Them—A Jewish Reading

14. REFERENCES  Noel, Brook & Blair, Pamela (2000) I Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Champion Press, LTD  Lowenstein, Liana (2006) Creative Interventions for Bereaved Children. Ontario, Canada. Hignell Book Printing  Wolfelt, Alan (2001) Understanding Your Grief. Fort Collins, Colorado. Companion Press