2. ACADEMIC WRITING I June 13, 2014 – Supplemental information

3. Today Quotations & Paraphrasing - Note: The concept of paraphrasing was only introduced in class today. This slide show provides you with more information and instruction about paraphrasing. Feel free to use this to help you with writing Assignment 5.

4. Direct quotations Usually need reporting verbs or phrases: - assert- according to - insist- As XYZ says - claim - say - state - suggest

5. Direct quotations It seems apparent that if athletes want to win, they must consider using drugs. Dr. Michael Karsten, a Dutch physician who has prescribed steroids to hundreds of athletes, states, “If you are especially gifted, you may win once, but from my experience you can’t continue to win without drugs. The field is just too filled with drug users” (Bamberger and Yaeger, 1997, p.62).

6. Indirect quotations It seems apparent that if athletes want to win, they must consider using drugs. Dr. Michael Karsten, a Dutch physician who said he had prescribed steroids to hundreds of athletes, stated that if [athletes] were especially gifted, [they] might win once, but from his experience [they] couldn’t continue to win without drugs. He asserted that the field was just too filled with drug users (Bamberger and Yaeger, 2010, p. 62).

7. Changing Direct Quotations to Indirect 1. Remove the quotation marks (“ “) 2. Add the subordinator, that. (i.e., “asserts that…”) 3. Change verb tense if necessary. - Remember tense rules. 4. Change pronouns (and time expressions if necessary) to maintain the sense of the original.

8. Direct to indirect quotation

9. Paraphrasing Putting a passage into your own words without altering the meaning. Used to: - (slightly) shorten a longer statement, maintaining the main ideas - implement information/ideas from others’ work

11. Paraphrasing techniques Change from a clause to a phrase i.e., After he studied, John took a nap.  After studying, John took a nap. The house across the street is new.  The house that is across the street is new.

12. Paraphrasing techniques Change from Quoted to Indirect Speech. i.e., Mr. Lee said, “I am ready for lunch.”  Mr. Lee said he was ready for lunch.

13. Paraphrasing techniques Change from active voice to passive voice ** i.e., A hotel employee will carry your bags.  Your bags will be carried by a hotel employee. ** Use this only if you cannot find a better way to paraphrase.

14. Paraphrasing techniques Replace words with synonyms i.e., A hotel employee will carry your bags.  A bell boy will pick up your luggage. i.e., The stallion was content with the mare.  The stallion was happy with the mare.

15. Paraphrasing techniques When you can’t find a synonym - Replace the original word with a definition** i.e., The stallion was content with the mare.  The male horse was happy with the female horse. ** Use this only if you cannot find a better way to paraphrase.

16. Paraphrasing techniques Change word forms - Use an adverb instead of an adjective. - Use a verb instead of a noun. i.e., Terry is an accurate typist.  Terry types accurately.

17. Paraphrasing techniques The previous were individual techniques for paraphrasing. You cannot simply change one aspect (i.e., one word) of a passage and call it a paraphrase. That would actually be plagiarism.

18. Paraphrasing techniques For effective paraphrasing, you must combine these techniques. i.e., After he ate lunch, Moe took a nap.  Moe slept a little after eating lunch. - Change to phrase, use synonym.

19. Paraphrasing techniques For effective paraphrasing, you must combine these techniques. i.e., The house that is across the street is old.  The house across the street is old.  The house on the other side of the street is old.  The dwelling on the other side of the road is ancient.

20. Paraphrasing techniques – one more Change transitions i.e., Although it was raining, Bob walked to work.  It was raining, but Bob walked to work.  It was raining; however, Bob walked to work.

21. Paraphrasing techniques – one more Change transitions i.e., Although it was raining, Bob walked to work.  It was raining, but Bob walked to work.  It was raining; however, Bob walked to work. (With changed word form): Despite the rain, Bob went to work on foot.

22. Paraphrasing techniques - Practice Today, people are worried about internet security. Advocates of internet tracking believe that it helps marketers to understand what people want. People who oppose internet tracking believe that it is an invasion of privacy. This information age will cause more and more people to become concerned with the level of personal detail that can be found from the internet.  Try these. Sample paraphrases are on the next slide.

23. Paraphrasing techniques - Practice Today, people are worried about internet security. - Internet security is a concern these days. - Recently, internet security has become a concern. Advocates of internet tracking believe that it helps marketers to understand what people want. - People who support internet tracking point to its usefulness in marketing. - Internet tracking supporters claim that marketers can use it to understand consumers. People who oppose internet tracking believe that it is an invasion of privacy. - Internet tracking opponents claim it violates privacy. - Internet tracking violates privacy, according to its detractors. This information age will cause more and more people to become concerned with the level of personal detail that can be found from the internet. - The amount of personal data available online will become an increasing concern as a result of the information age.

24. How to paraphrase - Read the original passage carefully, several times. - Decide the main ideas of the passage. - Highlight important words or phrases. - Put the main points in your own words. - Check your version with the original to make sure: 1. the original’s meaning is preserved. 2. your version is sufficiently different from the original

25. (Oshima & Hogue, 2006)

26. Compare the original and paraphrase 1. How many sentences are in the original. How many in the paraphrase? 2. Analyze the differences in sentence structure and words between the original and paraphrase. a. What is the first word of the first sentence in the original? Where does this word appear in the first sentence of the paraphrase? b. What is the first word in the second sentence in the original? What word replaces it in the second sentence of the paraphrase? c. What words replace “have dreamed of” in the third sentence? What word replaces “arguments in favor of” in the fourth sentence? d. Which sentence in the original becomes two sentences in the paraphrase?

27. Compare the original and paraphrase 1. How many sentences are in the original. How many in the paraphrase? 2. Analyze the differences in sentence structure and words between the original and paraphrase. a. What is the first word of the first sentence in the original? Where does this word appear in the first sentence of the paraphrase? b. What is the first word in the second sentence in the original? What word replaces it in the second sentence of the paraphrase? c. What words replace “have dreamed of” in the third sentence? What word replaces “arguments in favor of” in the fourth sentence? d. Which sentence in the original becomes two sentences in the paraphrase? 5 6 Language at the end But however have wished for reasons the last sentence

28. Paraphrase Example Original: Differentiation as an instructional approach promotes a balance between a student's style and a student's ability. Differentiated instruction provides the student with options for processing and internalizing the content, and for constructing new learning in order to progress academically (Thompson, 2009).

29. Paraphrase Example - Poor Original: Differentiation as an instructional approach promotes a balance between a student's style and a student's ability. Differentiated instruction provides the student with options for processing and internalizing the content, and for constructing new learning in order to progress academically (Thompson, 2009). Paraphrase: Differentiation is a way to encourage equality between the approach and talent of the student (Thompson, 2009). This type of instruction gives students different ways to deal with and grasp information, and for establishing new learning to move on in education (Thompson, 2009).

30. Paraphrase Example - Improved Original: Differentiation as an instructional approach promotes a balance between a student's style and a student's ability. Differentiated instruction provides the student with options for processing and internalizing the content, and for constructing new learning in order to progress academically (Thompson, 2009). Paraphrase Teachers use differentiated instruction to help students learn, allowing the teacher to cater lessons to the way each student learns and each student's skill (Thompson, 2009).

31. Practice Passage: In 1857, a British expedition led by Richard Burton and John Speke set out to find the great lakes shown on Ptolemy’s map. After reaching Lake Tanganyika, the two men split up because Burton was ill.

32. Example Which one is the best? Richard Burton and his friend looked for the great lakes shown on Ptolemy’s map. The men split up. In 1857, Richard Burton and John Speke searched for the great lakes on Ptolemy’s map, but they had to split up when Burton was ill. Two men from Britain looked for the great lakes but had to split up because one was ill.

33. Paraphrase: Important note ALWAYS include a citation when you paraphrase. - Just because you have changed the delivery of the idea does not mean it is yours. - Einstein’s Theory of Relativity If I call it “Relativity Theory”, that doesn’t make it mine. Einstein’s Theory of Relativity Prof. Merritt’s Relativity Theory. Hmm…

34. Paraphrase: Important note APA style does not require you to include page numbers for summaries and paraphrasing, but it is a useful courtesy for your reader.

35. Paraphrase - “The purpose of paraphrasing is to be able to use it as supporting material in your writing,” (Oshima & Hogue, 2006). - Obviously, the same goes for quotations and summaries.

37. Paraphrase Example 1 Passage from a Book: Ancient Egyptians believed that Osiris, a good and wise king, was the first pharaoh. He spread knowledge to other parts of the world, while his wife, Isis, ruled Egypt in his place.

38. Good Paraphrase Example HIGHLIGHTED PASSAGE Ancient Egyptians believed that Osiris, a good and wise king, was the first pharaoh. He spread knowledge to other parts of the world, while his wife, Isis, ruled Egypt in his place ORIGINAL PASSAGE Ancient Egyptians believed that Osiris, a good and wise king, was the first pharaoh. He spread knowledge to other parts of the world, while his wife, Isis, ruled Egypt in his place. PARAPHRASED PASSAGE King Osiris was the first pharaoh and spread knowledge. Queen Isis ruled Egypt when he was gone.

39. Bad Paraphrase Example Original Passage Ancient Egyptians believed that Osiris, a good and wise king, was the first pharaoh. He spread knowledge to other parts of the world, while his wife, Isis, ruled Egypt in his place. Highlighted Passage Ancient Egyptians believed that Osiris, a good and wise king, was the first pharaoh. He spread knowledge to other parts of the world, while his wife, Isis, ruled Egypt in his place. Poor Paraphrasing King Osiris was an ancient Egyptian King and the first pharaoh. He was good and wise because he spread knowledge to other parts of the world. His wife Isis ruled Egypt in his place.

40. Paraphrase Example 2 Passage from a Book: Upon returning home, Osiris was murdered by his evil brother Set, who cut Osiris’s body into pieces and dumped it in the Nile River. Isis found the body and put it back together by winding linen bandages around it.

41. Good Example Original Passage Upon returning home, Osiris was murdered by his evil brother, Set who cut his body into pieces and dumped it in the Nile River. Isis found the body and put it back together by winding linen bandages around it. Highlighted Passage Upon returning home, Osiris was murdered by his evil brother, Set who cut his body into pieces and dumped it in the Nile River. Isis found the body and put it back together by winding linen bandages around it. Paraphrased Passage Osiris’s brother Set killed Osiris by cutting his body into pieces, and Isis put the body back together.

42. Bad Example Original Passage Upon returning home, Osiris was murdered by his evil brother, Set who cut his body into pieces and dumped it in the Nile River. Isis found the body and put it back together by winding linen bandages around it. Highlighted Passage Upon returning home, Osiris was murdered by his evil brother, Set who cut his body into pieces and dumped it in the Nile River. Isis found the body and put it back together by winding linen bandages around it. Poor Paraphrasing Osiris was murdered and Isis found the body