1. Workshop on APA Style Afternoon Session III WSU College of Nursing October 24, 2008 Ellen Barton Linguistics/English WSU Director of Composition

2. BartonWorkshop on APA Style WSU College of Nursing Overview -- Topics writing process writing process top-down and bottom-up top-down and bottom-up top-down – genres and outlines top-down – genres and outlines bottom-up – language (paragraphs and sentences) and format bottom-up – language (paragraphs and sentences) and format drafts drafts 1 st draft – finding info/outlining 1 st draft – finding info/outlining 2 nd draft – organizing/APA headings 2 nd draft – organizing/APA headings 3 rd draft – editing and formatting 3 rd draft – editing and formatting

3. BartonWorkshop on APA Style WSU College of Nursing Writing in APA Style what is good writing in APA style? what is good writing in APA style? CON faculty – “style as well as format” CON faculty – “style as well as format” voice in APA style is “formal,” “scientific writing” for an academic audience voice in APA style is “formal,” “scientific writing” for an academic audience writing in APA style is “logical” writing in APA style is “logical” sections/headings and paragraphs sections/headings and paragraphs writing in APA style is “concise,” not wordy or “creative” writing in APA style is “concise,” not wordy or “creative” writing in APA style is “clear” writing in APA style is “clear”

4. BartonWorkshop on APA Style WSU College of Nursing Writing in APA Style what is good writing in APA style? what is good writing in APA style? APA (2001, p. 10, pp. 31-40) APA (2001, p. 10, pp. 31-40) tone in APA style is “professional,” i.e., formal, for “scientific journals” tone in APA style is “professional,” i.e., formal, for “scientific journals” writing in APA style is “orderly,” i.e., logical writing in APA style is “orderly,” i.e., logical writing in APA style needs “economy of expression,” i.e., it is concise writing in APA style needs “economy of expression,” i.e., it is concise writing in APA style is “precise,” i.e., clear writing in APA style is “precise,” i.e., clear

5. BartonWorkshop on APA Style WSU College of Nursing Writing in APA Style achieving qualities of good writing in APA style achieving qualities of good writing in APA style tone/voice tone/voice write as a researcher to an academic/professional audience write as a researcher to an academic/professional audience logic logic APA sections/headings APA sections/headings paragraphing paragraphing conciseness and clarity conciseness and clarity sentences sentences

6. BartonWorkshop on APA Style WSU College of Nursing Logic = Paragraphing APA (2001, p. 36) APA (2001, p. 36) paragraph length – neither one sentence nor one page paragraph length – neither one sentence nor one page unity, cohesiveness, continuity unity, cohesiveness, continuity structure of the paragraph (¶) structure of the paragraph (¶) topic sentence – unity/controlling idea topic sentence – unity/controlling idea development -- cohesiveness/ connections and continuity/terms development -- cohesiveness/ connections and continuity/terms concluding sentence (if appropriate) concluding sentence (if appropriate)

7. BartonWorkshop on APA Style WSU College of Nursing Logic = Paragraphing ¶ topic sentence – unity ¶ topic sentence – unity state directly what paragraph is about state directly what paragraph is about Good communication is widely thought to be essential to providing high quality end- of-life care. (Intro -- background) Good communication is widely thought to be essential to providing high quality end- of-life care. (Intro -- background) Phase 2 [EOL] discussions varied in length across the data set. (Results) Phase 2 [EOL] discussions varied in length across the data set. (Results) Another way in which problems were presented differently... was the presence or absence of treatment options. (Results) Another way in which problems were presented differently... was the presence or absence of treatment options. (Results) This study has three significant limitations. (Conclusion) This study has three significant limitations. (Conclusion)

8. BartonWorkshop on APA Style WSU College of Nursing Logic = Paragraphing ¶ development -- cohesiveness ¶ development -- cohesiveness each sentence related to topic sentence each sentence related to topic sentence As shown in Table 1, … (topic) As shown in Table 1, … (topic) References to positive outcomes included [examples] … (development) References to positive outcomes included [examples] … (development) each sentence related to previous and following sentences each sentence related to previous and following sentences These percentage findings are supported by a secondary comparison … (conclusion) These percentage findings are supported by a secondary comparison … (conclusion)

9. BartonWorkshop on APA Style WSU College of Nursing Logic = Paragraphing ¶ development – continuity ¶ development – continuity define terms and use those terms consistently define terms and use those terms consistently … [speaker] references to negative outcomes related to medical problems (findings overview, heading, topic sen) … [speaker] references to negative outcomes related to medical problems (findings overview, heading, topic sen) … references to negative outcomes took a variety of forms … (use of term) … references to negative outcomes took a variety of forms … (use of term) do not change terms or create synonyms for terms do not change terms or create synonyms for terms use repetition in drafts (edit later) use repetition in drafts (edit later)

10. BartonWorkshop on APA Style WSU College of Nursing Logic = Paragraphing ¶ concluding sentence ¶ concluding sentence summary – relate back to topic sentence summary – relate back to topic sentence [Three features] combine to set some limitations on the analysis presented below … (topic sentence) [Three features] combine to set some limitations on the analysis presented below … (topic sentence) Despite these limitations, this is the first study to compare interaction in decision- making and non-decision making EOL discussions... (concluding sentence) Despite these limitations, this is the first study to compare interaction in decision- making and non-decision making EOL discussions... (concluding sentence)

11. BartonWorkshop on APA Style WSU College of Nursing Logic = Paragraphing editing individual paragraphs editing individual paragraphs check every paragraph for structure check every paragraph for structure is there a clear and direct topic sentence? (unity) is there a clear and direct topic sentence? (unity) does each sentence clearly relate to the topic sentence? (cohesiveness) does each sentence clearly relate to the topic sentence? (cohesiveness) does each sentence clearly relate to the preceding and following sentences? (cohesiveness) does each sentence clearly relate to the preceding and following sentences? (cohesiveness) is each new term defined, and is that term used consistently? (continuity) is each new term defined, and is that term used consistently? (continuity) does the concluding sentence relate back to the topic sentence? does the concluding sentence relate back to the topic sentence?

12. BartonWorkshop on APA Style WSU College of Nursing Logic = Paragraphing multiple ¶s in sections/headings multiple ¶s in sections/headings logic expressed through transitions in topic sentences (APA, 2001, pp. 32-34) logic expressed through transitions in topic sentences (APA, 2001, pp. 32-34) addition links -- in addition, similarly, furthermore, first, second … addition links -- in addition, similarly, furthermore, first, second … contrast links – but, however, although, nevertheless, in contrast contrast links – but, however, although, nevertheless, in contrast cause-effect links -- because, as a result, therefore, consequently cause-effect links -- because, as a result, therefore, consequently logical transitions in topic sentences avoid abrupt shifts across ¶s (APA, 2001, p. 33) logical transitions in topic sentences avoid abrupt shifts across ¶s (APA, 2001, p. 33)

13. BartonWorkshop on APA Style WSU College of Nursing Logic = Paragraphing multiple ¶s in section/heading multiple ¶s in section/heading ¶ topic sentences w/ transitions in Results section (Aldridge & Barton, 2007) ¶ topic sentences w/ transitions in Results section (Aldridge & Barton, 2007) As mentioned above, Phase 2 … typically culminates in a summary section... As mentioned above, Phase 2 … typically culminates in a summary section... As shown in Table 3,... (data) As shown in Table 3,... (data) To put this in terms of cases,... (analysis) To put this in terms of cases,... (analysis) In sum, [decision-making discussions]... Conversely, [non-decision-making discussions] … (conclusion) In sum, [decision-making discussions]... Conversely, [non-decision-making discussions] … (conclusion)

14. BartonWorkshop on APA Style WSU College of Nursing Logic = Paragraphing editing across ¶s in sections/ headings editing across ¶s in sections/ headings read each topic sentence across ¶s read each topic sentence across ¶s is the order of paragraphs logical? is the order of paragraphs logical? e.g., sequence of studies in Background/ Lit review sections/headings e.g., sequence of studies in Background/ Lit review sections/headings e.g., data before analysis in Results e.g., data before analysis in Results are the topic sentences related by transitions? are the topic sentences related by transitions? e.g., similar studies before contrasting studies in Background/Lit review e.g., similar studies before contrasting studies in Background/Lit review

15. BartonWorkshop on APA Style WSU College of Nursing Writing in APA Style -- Logic 2nd draft – organize for logic! 2nd draft – organize for logic! genre – IMRD research article genre – IMRD research article sections/headings – I, M, R, D sections/headings – I, M, R, D subsections w/in IMRD sections subsections w/in IMRD sections w/in sections/headings, order of ¶s w/in sections/headings, order of ¶s read topic sentences for logic read topic sentences for logic w/in ¶s, topic sentence and development w/in ¶s, topic sentence and development revise for unity, cohesiveness, and continuity revise for unity, cohesiveness, and continuity

16. BartonWorkshop on APA Style WSU College of Nursing Sentences = Conciseness and Clarity 3 rd draft – editing! (APA, 2001, chap. 2) 3 rd draft – editing! (APA, 2001, chap. 2) 3 “rules” for conciseness (try them!) 3 “rules” for conciseness (try them!) watch sentence length watch sentence length write complete sentences write complete sentences edit out wordiness edit out wordiness 4 “rules” for clarity (try them!) 4 “rules” for clarity (try them!) use active voice use active voice use verb tense consistently use verb tense consistently use pronouns carefully use pronouns carefully don’t use anthropomorphisms don’t use anthropomorphisms

17. BartonWorkshop on APA Style WSU College of Nursing Sentences = Conciseness watch sentence length (APA, 2001, p. 36) watch sentence length (APA, 2001, p. 36) write short sentences first! (8-12 words) write short sentences first! (8-12 words) combine closely related sentences later (12-24 words) combine closely related sentences later (12-24 words) (if you can’t), find long sentences and shorten! (if you can’t), find long sentences and shorten! 24+ words, 3 lines or more 24+ words, 3 lines or more short sentences make grammar manageable and avoid awkwardness short sentences make grammar manageable and avoid awkwardness

18. BartonWorkshop on APA Style WSU College of Nursing Sentences = Conciseness editing topic sentences for length editing topic sentences for length short and effective short and effective Roberts and Sarangi (2005) outline the following steps for a discourse analysis. Roberts and Sarangi (2005) outline the following steps for a discourse analysis. long and ineffective long and ineffective As shown in Table 3, in the 13 summary sections of decision-making discussions, 11 (85%) included one or more unmitigated statements implying terminal status, as when... [33 more words!] As shown in Table 3, in the 13 summary sections of decision-making discussions, 11 (85%) included one or more unmitigated statements implying terminal status, as when... [33 more words!] separate! (topic sentence from development) separate! (topic sentence from development)

19. BartonWorkshop on APA Style WSU College of Nursing Sentences = Conciseness write complete sentences write complete sentences a complete (simple) sentence has a subject and predicate a complete (simple) sentence has a subject and predicate subject has head noun subject has head noun predicate has main verb predicate has main verb SV agreement – N/V (APA, 2001, p. 44-47) SV agreement – N/V (APA, 2001, p. 44-47) longer (compound, complex) sentences have multiple clauses, each with a subject and predicate (and SV agreement) longer (compound, complex) sentences have multiple clauses, each with a subject and predicate (and SV agreement) if you can’t easily identify the subject- predicate structure of your clauses and sentences, your reader can’t, either! if you can’t easily identify the subject- predicate structure of your clauses and sentences, your reader can’t, either!

20. BartonWorkshop on APA Style WSU College of Nursing Sentences = Conciseness correct sentence errors correct sentence errors fragment – incomplete sentence fragment – incomplete sentence Phase 3 of the EOL discussion is Holistic Decision-Making. Where the frame of the patient’s wishes is established and an inferential decision is made. Phase 3 of the EOL discussion is Holistic Decision-Making. Where the frame of the patient’s wishes is established and an inferential decision is made. edit to two complete sentences edit to two complete sentences don’t forget a cohesive link w/in ¶ don’t forget a cohesive link w/in ¶ edit to one complex sentence edit to one complex sentence watch punctuation watch punctuation

21. BartonWorkshop on APA Style WSU College of Nursing Sentences = Conciseness correct sentence errors correct sentence errors run-on – 2 clauses no punctuation run-on – 2 clauses no punctuation Phase 3 of the EOL discussion is Holistic Decision-Making the frame of the patient’s wishes is established and an inferential decision is made. Phase 3 of the EOL discussion is Holistic Decision-Making the frame of the patient’s wishes is established and an inferential decision is made. connect two clauses w/ a semi-colon connect two clauses w/ a semi-colon if clauses are closely related if clauses are closely related connect two clauses w/ a comma plus conjunction connect two clauses w/ a comma plus conjunction, and/but/or, and/but/or

22. BartonWorkshop on APA Style WSU College of Nursing Sentences = Conciseness correct sentence errors correct sentence errors comma splice – 2 clauses, comma only comma splice – 2 clauses, comma only Phase 3 of the EOL discussion is Holistic Decision-Making, the frame of the patient’s wishes is established and an inferential decision is made. Phase 3 of the EOL discussion is Holistic Decision-Making, the frame of the patient’s wishes is established and an inferential decision is made. connect two clauses w/ a semi-colon connect two clauses w/ a semi-colon connect two clauses w/ a comma plus conjunction (, and/but/or) connect two clauses w/ a comma plus conjunction (, and/but/or) write two complete sentences write two complete sentences

23. BartonWorkshop on APA Style WSU College of Nursing Sentences = Conciseness edit out wordiness (APA, 2001, p. 34-36) edit out wordiness (APA, 2001, p. 34-36) is every word necessary? is every word necessary? R&S (2005) have outlined the following steps for a discourse analysis. R&S (2005) have outlined the following steps for a discourse analysis. which words could go? which words could go? are any words redundant? are any words redundant? the following steps  the steps the following steps  the steps the reason is because  because the reason is because  because a total of 68 participants  68 participants a total of 68 participants  68 participants edit every sentence! edit every sentence!

24. BartonWorkshop on APA Style WSU College of Nursing Conciseness -- Exercise choose one “ugly” sentence you wrote this morning choose one “ugly” sentence you wrote this morning edit for conciseness edit for conciseness shorten length to 8-12 words shorten length to 8-12 words write 2 sentences if necessary! write 2 sentences if necessary! check for sentence errors check for sentence errors SV agreement SV agreement fragment, run-on, comma splice fragment, run-on, comma splice edit out wordiness edit out wordiness how does it sound? how does it sound?

25. BartonWorkshop on APA Style WSU College of Nursing Sentences = Clarity use the active voice (APA, 2001, pp. 41-42) use the active voice (APA, 2001, pp. 41-42) active – subject, verb, object active – subject, verb, object We present a comparative discourse analysis... We present a comparative discourse analysis... passive – object, be+verb, subject passive – object, be+verb, subject A comparative discourse analysis is presented... (wordy and less direct) A comparative discourse analysis is presented... (wordy and less direct) edit for active voice in Intro, Background, Results, Discussion edit for active voice in Intro, Background, Results, Discussion use passive (sometimes) in Method use passive (sometimes) in Method

26. BartonWorkshop on APA Style WSU College of Nursing Sentences = Clarity use verb tense consistently (APA, 2001, p. 33) use verb tense consistently (APA, 2001, p. 33) past tense (find verb w/ yesterday...) past tense (find verb w/ yesterday...) Intro (background/lit review) Intro (background/lit review) Method Method Intro (purpose, background) Intro (purpose, background) present tense (find verb w/ today …) present tense (find verb w/ today …) Intro (problem, claims/thesis) Intro (problem, claims/thesis) Results Results Discussion/Conclusion Discussion/Conclusion edit every sentence! edit every sentence!

27. BartonWorkshop on APA Style WSU College of Nursing Sentences = Clarity use pronouns carefully (APA, 2001, p. 37) use pronouns carefully (APA, 2001, p. 37) pronoun-previous noun agreement pronoun-previous noun agreement singular noun, singular pronoun singular noun, singular pronoun an EOL physician with his or her patient an EOL physician with his or her patient plural noun, plural pronoun plural noun, plural pronoun EOL physicians and their patients EOL physicians and their patients error -- a patient and their physician error -- a patient and their physician use pronouns to avoid repetition, but make sure they refer clearly to their nouns! use pronouns to avoid repetition, but make sure they refer clearly to their nouns!

28. BartonWorkshop on APA Style WSU College of Nursing Sentences = Clarity use pronouns carefully use pronouns carefully avoid “simple” pronouns (APA, 2001, p. 37) avoid “simple” pronouns (APA, 2001, p. 37) this, that, these, and those as subjects of sentences this, that, these, and those as subjects of sentences One function of Phase 4 is to lay out specifically the process of moving from therapeutic to comfort care. This is characterized by its mix of medical... and lay language. One function of Phase 4 is to lay out specifically the process of moving from therapeutic to comfort care. This is characterized by its mix of medical... and lay language. This phase or, even better, Phase 4 This phase or, even better, Phase 4 don’t use bare this as a subject! don’t use bare this as a subject!

29. BartonWorkshop on APA Style WSU College of Nursing Sentences = Clarity don’t use anthropomorphisms (APA, 2001, p. 38) don’t use anthropomorphisms (APA, 2001, p. 38) human subject, human verb human subject, human verb participants reported participants reported inanimate subject, inanimate verb inanimate subject, inanimate verb Table 1 shows, Figure 1 illustrates Table 1 shows, Figure 1 illustrates error – inanimate subj, human verb error – inanimate subj, human verb data says  data indicate data says  data indicate results reveal  results indicate results reveal  results indicate usage of data – plural noun, avoid show usage of data – plural noun, avoid show check w/ your advisor re. data show check w/ your advisor re. data show

30. BartonWorkshop on APA Style WSU College of Nursing Clarity -- Exercise choose one sentence in the passive voice and edit it to active voice choose one sentence in the passive voice and edit it to active voice choose one sentence in the wrong tense and edit it choose one sentence in the wrong tense and edit it e.g., lit review sentence – pres to past e.g., lit review sentence – pres to past e.g., discussion sentence – past to pres e.g., discussion sentence – past to pres find a sentence w/ this as a subject and edit it to a noun phrase find a sentence w/ this as a subject and edit it to a noun phrase look for sentences w/ data as the subject – edit the verb look for sentences w/ data as the subject – edit the verb

31. BartonWorkshop on APA Style WSU College of Nursing Writing in APA Style edit for conciseness! edit for conciseness! edit every sentence for length edit every sentence for length edit every sentence for completeness edit every sentence for completeness edit every sentence for wordiness edit every sentence for wordiness edit for clarity! edit for clarity! edit for active voice in Intro, Results, Disc edit for active voice in Intro, Results, Disc edit for past tense in Background, Method edit for past tense in Background, Method edit for present tense in Intro, Results, Disc edit for present tense in Intro, Results, Disc avoid this and that as sentence subjects avoid this and that as sentence subjects edit out anthropomorphisms edit out anthropomorphisms proofread every sentence for grammar, spelling, capitalization, and punctuation! proofread every sentence for grammar, spelling, capitalization, and punctuation!

32. BartonWorkshop on APA Style WSU College of Nursing Writing in APA Style READ READ absorb APA style in use absorb APA style in use WRITE WRITE plan time to write multiple drafts plan time to write multiple drafts 1 st draft – outline and write 1 st draft – outline and write 2 nd draft – revise and organize 2 nd draft – revise and organize sections/headings and paragraphs sections/headings and paragraphs 3 rd draft – edit paragraphs and sentences 3 rd draft – edit paragraphs and sentences