1. Zounds! Henry J. Nicols internationalcenterfortalentdevelopment.com Used with permission

2. Let me give you an “I” message. Henry J. Nicols internationalcenterfortalentdevelopment.com Used with permission

3. “I” messages are partially based on a theory of communication called transactional analysis. TA was first described in the 1960’s by Eric Berne in his book Transactional Analysis. Henry J. Nicols internationalcenterfortalentdevelopment.com Used with permission

4. Transactional Analysis Parent Adult Child Parent communications are best demonstrated when one person tells another something and gives directions or expresses opinions that should be assumed to be obvious facts or the information is presumed to be indisputable. “Don’t use drugs. They are bad for you.” Henry J. Nicols internationalcenterfortalentdevelopment.com Used with permission

5. Transactional Analysis Parent Adult Child Child communications are best demonstrated when one person acts deferential in the communication. “Daddy, do you think I should use drugs?” Some child communications are silly. “I really luv you werry, werry much!” Henry J. Nicols internationalcenterfortalentdevelopment.com Used with permission

6. Transactional Analysis Parent Adult Child Adult communications are best demonstrated when one person gives another information and the expectation is that the information will be interpreted appropriately by the person receiving the communication. “Many studies have shown that drug use is dangerous.” Henry J. Nicols internationalcenterfortalentdevelopment.com Used with permission

7. Transactional Analysis Communications that work. PACPAC PACPAC Henry J. Nicols internationalcenterfortalentdevelopment.com Used with permission

8. Transactional Analysis Communications that work. PACPAC PACPAC Henry J. Nicols internationalcenterfortalentdevelopment.com Used with permission

9. Transactional Analysis Communications that work. PACPAC PACPAC Henry J. Nicols internationalcenterfortalentdevelopment.com Used with permission

10. Transactional Analysis Communications that don’t work. PACPAC PACPAC Henry J. Nicols internationalcenterfortalentdevelopment.com Used with permission

11. Transactional Analysis Communications that work best. PACPAC PACPAC Henry J. Nicols internationalcenterfortalentdevelopment.com Used with permission

12. “I” messages. Use the force………. When you________________ _________________Happens and I feel ________________. Insert Behavior Here Insert Feeling Here Insert Behavior Consequence Here Henry J. Nicols internationalcenterfortalentdevelopment.com Used with permission

13. I Messages the graduate course. Hiam Ginott XYZ When you did X It made me feel Y and I would rather you did Z. Henry J. Nicols internationalcenterfortalentdevelopment.com Used with permission

14. Dr. Hiam Ginott I've come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element in the classroom. My personal approach creates the climate. My daily mood makes the weather. As a teacher I possess a tremendous power to make a child's life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated and a child humanized or dehumanized. Henry J. Nicols internationalcenterfortalentdevelopment.com Used with permission