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Change Your Brain with Co-Active Coaching
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What to Expect Tonight, part one
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If You Come Over Here if you come over here we can grab both edges of the gap and hold it open for the light to come through —Ann Betz
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What to Expect Tonight, part two Neuroplasticity changing the brain The Pre-Frontal Cortex too much, too little, just right Coaching and Stress what works Coaching and Integration The brain’s two hemispheres
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Quote Exchange 1.Find a partner 2.Introduce yourself (name, why you came – bottom line) 3.Read your quote to your partner 4.Share what this means to YOU You may like it and agree You may dislike it and disagree You may find it makes you curious 5.Partner repeats the process 6.Swap the quote card you used with your partner 7.Keep finding new partners, sharing, and switching cards—keep going until the bell
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Stand up if you have (or remember) a quote that links to what I am talking about. Don’t be polite, there is chocolate at stake! Quote Connections
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Neuroplasticity We have an unfathomable amount (100 trillion +) of potential neural connections in our brains. Every neuron can connect to multiple other neurons. Our potential may well be unlimited.
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If it fires, it wires The more often we do something, the stronger the neural pathway (myelination) We have well-developed neural pathways designed to keep us safe Coaching helps us create (and myelinate) new neural pathways “Neuroplasticity is a 6-syllable word for hope.” ~ Dr. Linda Page Neuroplasticity and Change
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1.Aerobic exercise 2.Nutrition (Omega 3s) 3.Sleep 4.Novelty 5.Close focus of attention Five Keys to Neuroplasticity
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How’s Your Neuroplasticity?
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Fill out your wheel Get a partner ONE AT A TIME (one person is coach, one is coachee) look at ONE area where you are lower than you would like Brainstorm with coach ONE thing you can do to increase this area Commit to doing it and make a note on the back of your paper Set up accountability with coach Switch Neuroplasticity Coaching
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The Pre-Frontal Cortex: AKA “Goldilocks” Just rightTypical “normal” for women Typical “normal” for men Too little stress The Pre-Frontal Cortex Too much stress Functional impairment: Foggy thinking, poor impulse control, poor decision-making, poor memory, lack of empathy High level functioning: goal direction, abstract concepts, memory encoding and retrieval, decision-making, understanding what others are thinking, delaying gratification
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1. You have a dead-end job, there is no variety or learning, it’s 9-5, the same boring routine every day. foggy thinking, poor impulse control, poor decision-making, poor memory, lack of empathy goal direction, abstract concepts, memory encoding and retrieval, decision-making, understanding what others are thinking, delaying gratification YOU ARE HERE TOO LITTLE STRESS TOO MUCH STRESS
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2. You get a new boss, she says she sees potential in you. foggy thinking, poor impulse control, poor decision-making, poor memory, lack of empathy goal direction, abstract concepts, memory encoding and retrieval, decision- making, understanding what others are thinking, delaying gratification YOU ARE HERE TOO LITTLE STRESS TOO MUCH STRESS
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3. Your new boss asks if you would like to take on a more challenging assignment. foggy thinking, poor impulse control, poor decision-making, poor memory, lack of empathy goal direction, abstract concepts, memory encoding and retrieval, decision- making, understanding what others are thinking, delaying gratification YOU ARE HERE TOO LITTLE STRESS TOO MUCH STRESS
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4. You say yes and start your new assignment, which is interesting and a good fit. foggy thinking, poor impulse control, poor decision-making, poor memory, lack of empathy goal direction, abstract concepts, memory encoding and retrieval, decision- making, understanding what others are thinking, delaying gratification YOU ARE HERE TOO LITTLE STRESS TOO MUCH STRESS
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5. You begin to receive recognition and praise for your new role. foggy thinking, poor impulse control, poor decision-making, poor memory, lack of empathy goal direction, abstract concepts, memory encoding and retrieval, decision- making, understanding what others are thinking, delaying gratification YOU ARE HERE TOO LITTLE STRESS TOO MUCH STRESS
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6. You are asked to do additional work, requiring regular overtime and work at home. foggy thinking, poor impulse control, poor decision-making, poor memory, lack of empathy goal direction, abstract concepts, memory encoding and retrieval, decision- making, understanding what others are thinking, delaying gratification YOU ARE HERE TOO LITTLE STRESS TOO MUCH STRESS
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7. There are staff reductions and you take on the responsibilities of two other jobs. foggy thinking, poor impulse control, poor decision-making, poor memory, lack of empathy goal direction, abstract concepts, memory encoding and retrieval, decision- making, understanding what others are thinking, delaying gratification YOU ARE HERE TOO LITTLE STRESS TOO MUCH STRESS
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8. You get a negative performance review for not completing your work on time. foggy thinking, poor impulse control, poor decision-making, poor memory, lack of empathy goal direction, abstract concepts, memory encoding and retrieval, decision- making, understanding what others are thinking, delaying gratification YOU ARE HERE TOO LITTLE STRESS TOO MUCH STRESS
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Living a values-centered life Life purpose; living the life you love Dreams, vision and possibilities Challenging and calling forth Championing—yes, you can! Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? ~ Mary Oliver Coaching and TOO LITTLE
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#1. Suppression – actively push feelings aside, pretend, “never let them see you sweat.” #2. Name the emotion – short venting, write it down; naming is different than ramping it up. #3. Control the environment – make sure you don’t encounter stressor. #4. Put attention on what is important – focus on what you value and where you are going. FULFILLMENT COACHING #5. Reframing – find an empowering way to look at the issue. BALANCE COACHING #6. Mindfulness – meditation, being present to body sensations, being WITH the emotion. PROCESS COACHING Coaching and TOO MUCH NOT EFFECTIVE
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PART ONE Stand with the middle finger of each hand along the seams of your pants (or where the seams would be) Say (out loud or to yourself) “I can’t accomplish anything” PART TWO Stand with your chin to your chest, arms folded, looking at the floor Say (out loud or to yourself) “I can do anything I set my mind to” What the Body Knows
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The Two Hemispheres of the Brain CO-ACTIVE
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LEFT One-point focus Specificity Narrows things down Language and logic Separateness Explicit Filters out much of the information available The Two Hemispheres RIGHT Holistic Big Picture Metaphor Takes info from the body Oneness Implicit Takes in most of the information available Present moment The Key is Integration
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Coaching = helping people make and move across bridges right to left and left to right
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why poetry? Helen Keller said she came alive when she learned her first word water Anne Sullivan traced it in her palm over and over while the wetness splashed around them water from a chaotic background of everything jumbled and banging together all at once came one thing alone and distinct water and she, the girl, the being was there her conscious life now possible we need distinctions and clarity we need to know where one thing starts and another ends we need to shape our amorphous feelings into some sort of understanding poems are our Anne Sullivans tracing something again and again on the contours of our mind —Ann Betz
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Visual circuits create “mental maps” Understand more quickly and completely. Activate right hemisphere understanding, and subtle aspects of a situation. Visual / RH + language /LH connects the two hemispheres of the brain. Metaphor: a powerful tool for integration
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Find a partner and choose coach/client Coach has client stand to the LEFT and asks: o What is your 100% LEFT HEMISPHERE like at its best? o Explore for a minute or two o What is a metaphor for your LEFT HEMISPHERE at its best? Coach then has client stand to the RIGHT and asks: o What is your 100% RIGHT HEMISPHERE like, at its best? o Explore for a minute or two o What is a metaphor for your RIGHT HEMISPHERE at its best? Coach then has client stand with one foot in each: o How do (or could) your two metaphors connect with each other? Switch roles and repeat
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Co-active coaching creates an environment of supported self-discovery through trusting relationship and brain- friendly tools. These Co-Active tools are particularly effective for o Neuroplasticity (close focus of attention and novelty) o Creating engagement and reducing stress o RH/LH integration Thus coaching cannot help but change the very neural structure of the brain over time. How Co-Active Coaching Changes the Brain
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What is one thing you will remember and use from today?
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Invitation There is a door I want to pass through and you’ve offered to hold it open for me so I can stand and look at a distant land It’s bright there and fun and terrifying and as you gaze at me with steady eyes you never stop saying “I see you here” And this statement of belonging which you speak so matter-of-factly buoys me, calms my heart and carries me over the threshold to where I want to be —Ann Betz
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Ann Betz BEabove Leadership ann@beaboveleadership.com www.beaboveleadership.com www.yourcoachingbrain.wordpress.com
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