1. Evidence Lead-Ins: Adding Fluidity and Ethos to Your Argument

2. 2 Examples of Good Evidence Lead-Ins The legal settlements from the BP oil spill are, by any standard, a monumental task.“This thing has taken a life of its own far beyond what I thought,” says Patrick A. Juneau, the court-appointed special master who administers payouts from the BP fund. Juneau, 76, calls it a “Herculean task” and jokes, “I don’t know whether I’ll be alive” when it’s finished. He defends the process, noting that while his office has deemed 63,128 claims eligible for just under $5 billion in payments, 52,525 other claims have been denied as of Feb. 12. He points out that BP and the plaintiffs’ lawyers agreed to terms that don’t require those harmed to show direct links to the oil spill. 2

3. 3 Examples of Good Evidence Lead-Ins In Kharkiv [eastern Ukraine], police stood by as protesters swarmed into a building occupied by activists who support the new government, beating their opponents before hoisting Russian and Ukrainian flags. Tens of thousands of people gathered in the morning to protest the Maidan revolution. The assault on the building was “completely spontaneous,” said Denis Levshinko, a sociology student who participated in the rout of the Maidan activists. “We are all fed up with them. We united, and we chased them out.” 3

4. What is needed in this paragraph? Regardless of the concept of amateurism, money is extremely prevalent in collegiate athletics. As it stands, athletes are worth millions of dollars to the NCAA. And the schools themselves profit from their athletes in addition to the NCAA. Yet, while these national institutions profit handsomely, the athletes who participate in such competitions are forbidden from receiving any compensation whatsoever under amateurism laws. Athletes who are caught receiving any financial payments can be punished severely by the NCAA. Yes, that’s right: it needs some evidence and examples to support and illustrate its claims.

5. Revised Paragraph: Add the Evidence Regardless of the concept of amateurism, money is extremely prevalent in collegiate athletics. “Plenty of people are getting paid for college sports. They just aren’t the athletes.” As it stands, athletes are worth millions of dollars to the NCAA. In 2010, the NCAA received $771 million in exchange for the broadcasting rights to the annual NCAA March Madness tournament. And the schools themselves profit from their athletes in addition to the NCAA; in 2010, the highest-paid state employee in 40 of the 50 American states was a state-university football or basketball coach. Yet, while these national institutions profit handsomely, the athletes who participate in such competitions are forbidden from receiving any compensation whatsoever under amateurism laws. Athletes who are caught receiving any financial payments can be punished severely by the NCAA. Chris Webber, a University of Michigan basketball player, for example, had his personal basketball achievements stripped from the NCAA record books when it was later determined (after he had left Michigan and gone pro) that he received $280,000 in cash payments while in college. The University of Michigan was also required to take down its Final Four banners for the years that Webber played at the school.

6. 6 Revised Paragraph: Add the Evidence Ok. This is getting better since we are now actually synthesizing some actual information to build our claim, but... Who on earth said these things and in what context?

7. Revised Paragraph: Who Said It and In What Context? Regardless of the concept of amateurism, money is extremely prevalent in collegiate athletics. “Plenty of people are getting paid for college sports. They just aren’t the athletes,” wrote sports columnist Sarah Jaffe. As it stands, athletes are worth millions of dollars to the NCAA. In 2010, the NCAA received $771 million in exchange for the broadcasting rights to the annual NCAA March Madness tournament, as Atlantic columnist Taylor Branch noted in his 2011 article The Shame of College Sports. And deadspin.com writer Reuben Fischer-Baum highlights how the schools themselves profit from their athletes in addition to the NCAA; in 2010, the highest-paid state employee in 40 of the 50 American states was a state-university football or basketball coach. Yet, while these national institutions profit handsomely, the athletes who participate in such competitions are forbidden from receiving any compensation whatsoever under amateurism laws. Athletes who are caught receiving any financial payments can be punished severely by the NCAA. Chris Webber, a University of Michigan basketball player, for example, had his personal basketball achievements stripped from the NCAA record books when it was later determined (after he had left Michigan and gone pro) that he received $280,000 in cash payments while in college. The University of Michigan was also required to take down its Final Four banners for the years that Webber played at the school.

8. 8 Revised Paragraph: Who Said It and In What Context? Nice additions, but why should I trust what these people say? Why are they worthy of being in your research essay as the piece of evidence chosen to develop your assertion? Make sure the speaker or writer’s credentials are clear.

9. Evidence Lead-Ins: Speaker/Writer’s Credentials Regardless of the concept of amateurism, money is extremely prevalent in collegiate athletics. “Plenty of people are getting paid for college sports. They just aren’t the athletes” wrote sports columnist Sarah Jaffe. As it stands, athletes are worth millions of dollars to the NCAA. In 2010, the NCAA received $771 million in exchange for the broadcasting rights to the annual NCAA March Madness tournament, as Atlantic columnist Taylor Branch noted in his 2011 article The Shame of College Sports (Branch). And deadspin.com writer Reuben Fischer-Baum highlights how the schools themselves profit from their athletes in addition to the NCAA; in 2010, the highest-paid state employee in 40 of the 50 American states was a state- university football or basketball coach. Yet, while these national institutions profit handsomely, the athletes who participate in such competitions are forbidden from receiving any compensation whatsoever under amateurism laws. Athletes who are caught receiving any financial payments can be punished severely by the NCAA. Chris Webber, a University of Michigan basketball player, for example, had his personal basketball achievements stripped from the NCAA record books when it was later determined (after he had left Michigan and gone pro) that he received $280,000 in cash payments while in college. The University of Michigan was also required to take down its Final Four banners for the years that Webber played at the school.

10. Quote Lead-Ins Much better paragraph: it includes A direct quote or paraphrase in support of the assertion, The speaker/writer and context for that quote or paraphrase, And the credentials of the speaker/writer of the quote or paraphrase.